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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take work colleague to work anymore

101 replies

blackheartsgirl · 12/10/2017 20:16

I’ve never posted on this board so feel free to tell me to get a backbone!

I started a new job six months ago on the same day as my close friend, we’ve worked together before in the same place then 2 positions came up which we both applied for and got , we both work the same hours and we both have early starts mon to fri 7.45 am. I drive and she doesn’t, it’s about 4 miles away from where I live and about 6 where she is. She accepted the job knowing she would struggle and was going to ask family members to take her, they refused so she asked me. I agreed, I go out of my way to get her and have to get up earlier but she does pay me petrol. It’s worked ok.

But. My circs have changed. I’m struggling with my mental health and theres other stuff going on which is not pleasant. Hr have suggested a change in my working hours which would mean I am no longer able to take friend in if it gets approved. Friend has proper seen her arse, saying how was she supposed to get in and I wasn’t being fair? There is a bus from by her house but it would mean her getting up a little earlier but she keeps saying sack that I can’t be bothered and it wouldn’t work for her. I feel so guilty. Aibu not to take her if it arises and put my family and my health first?

OP posts:
SonicBoomBoom · 12/10/2017 22:20

Absolutely not being unreasonable.

liz70 · 12/10/2017 22:25

"I'm a Mancunian and regularly see my arse"

Ah, but do you also get a cob on?

Original poster
blackheartsgirl · 12/10/2017 22:25

Nikibabe seeing ones arse means I’m totally pissed off, got the hump, having a rage about something or something etc. I’m over the welsh border close to north west England and seeing ones arse is a popular saying here.

I have asked her to meet me in town, I could pick her up on the way through but she gets a bit uppity about it and thinks of a million excuses as to why she can’t do that.

Ah well I’m so glad it’s unanimous and thank you all for your input. I don’t feel as guilty now and she can see her arse all she like with me Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
blackheartsgirl · 12/10/2017 22:27

Cob on is used here too! Excellent saying

OP posts:
RedForFilth · 12/10/2017 22:27

Part of having a job is getting yourself there. If she's too precious to take the bus then she needs to learn to drive or use her wages to pay for a taxi. She can't go round expecting people to ferry her around everywhere. She sounds pathetic. And nasty, given that all she cares about is keeping her cushy lift rather than your health. At least you know what she's really like now!

dameglittersparkles · 12/10/2017 22:29

Wow she's a cheeky fucker of the highest order!

TheMightyMing · 12/10/2017 22:31

Liz oh yeaaaaah regularly get a cob on 😂😂😂 my husbands from near Chester and gets a 'monk on' ( whatever that is).

Sorry to derail your thread OP, you mate is def a CF- don't give it another thought!

TheMightyMing · 12/10/2017 22:33

OP DH from Frodsham so close to you ! 😄

ReturnfromtheStars · 12/10/2017 22:33

She is lucky there is a direct bus! I had jobs where I had to take two buses and walk between them making my journey around an hour, would have been 20 minutes by car. But a direct bus in the morning should be really fast and convenient.

Think of how much you have already helped her, you are lovely. Hope the new hours will help and you feel better soon.

SlothMama · 12/10/2017 22:33

It's her problem not yours, she needs to man up and sort out her own transport to work

Jux · 12/10/2017 22:34

She's definitely a CF! If you continue to drive her to and from tell her to come to yours in the morning and drop her there at night. Really you're losing a lot of down time in her favour.

BMW6 · 12/10/2017 22:37

What kind of "friend" is she!! Hmm
She is a first class entitled selfish bitch, with zero concern for your welfare.

She has shown you her true colours. Ditch the bitch.

Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 12/10/2017 22:41

She can grow up and take responsibility for herself. Catch the bus or get driving lessons so she doesn't have to rely on everyone else.

Twofurrycats · 12/10/2017 22:50

Nope. The phrase you need is get your marred arse on the bus!

Rainbunny · 12/10/2017 22:51

YADNBU OP! Your friend has had 4 years in which to learn to drive etc... but she has been content to rely on you, she must have known it would come to an end at some point, nothing stays the same forever. The distance involved sounds like she could perhaps cycle to work and back?

BelleandBeast · 12/10/2017 22:52

What does she expect? That you put her travel needs before your own mental health? And you are the selfish one? Confused

liz70 · 12/10/2017 22:58

"marred arse"

I will assume that auto correct wove its evil web once more and you meant that as "mard arse". Grin

Agree that this "close friend" sounds more like a user, OP.

ArcheryAnnie · 12/10/2017 23:03

There's a bus she can take. Even if there wasn't, it's not your problem. YANBU. You are not her chauffeur.

bingbongnoise · 12/10/2017 23:09

I just don't 'get' people who constantly cadge lifts off people to work. I would NEVER do that. It's so rude and entitled. FFS, arrange transport to work yourself! Hmm

My husband used to work 2 shifts (6-2 and 2-10,) and we lived about 2 and a half miles away from his works, (on a big housing estate at the time.) Several people at the time kept constantly asking for lifts home. A couple of them lived about 5 miles from the workplace, and so they put an extra 4-5 mile round trip onto his journey, every day. No-one ever offered petrol money, and they all seemed to think they were entitled to the lifts.

In the end he started to cycle to work (and back,) so he didn't have to give the cheeky bastards lifts all the time.

Some people are unbelievable. These are the same twats who 'borrow' money, (or other items,) and never give it back.

These arseholes are the reason I never lend fuckall to anyone, OR give lifts (unless it's an emergency!)

cresit · 12/10/2017 23:11

I know what a lard arse is, but not a mard arse.

Is it the same as a mardy cow?

Original poster
blackheartsgirl · 12/10/2017 23:13

We also say mardy arse! Am loving all these sayings I must admit, I don’t remember having them when I was growing in Sussex, my mum says so and sos got the arse or got the arseache about something a lot but she’s from London.

My hours per day will be longer if approved but I get to drop a day, I get a long weekend which I desperately need, and much needed time to myself too

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 12/10/2017 23:13

I have asked her to meet me in town, I could pick her up on the way through but she gets a bit uppity about it and thinks of a million excuses as to why she can’t do that.

Ok, so tomorrow you tell her you will pick her up from town in future.

She can think of a million excuses as to why she can't do that. Which is fine.

It means she will be making other arrangements to get to work. None of which are your problem. If she's in town waiting for you at x o'clock then she'll get a lift. If she's not she won't.

She's lost your goodwill with seeing her arse instead of buying you a massive thank you gift for 4 years of you getting up early so she can lie in.

Original poster
blackheartsgirl · 12/10/2017 23:17

Bing bong I don’t get it either, I’ve always got myself to work even when I’ve not had a car, it’s just what you do. I’ve always been independent though, not relying on anyone, those colleagues of your husbands though! Cheeky sods!

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 12/10/2017 23:20

She needs to grow up and be responsible for herself getting to work, especially if she can easily get the bus.

Atm I have to get two buses to university totalling 1hr30 - 2hrs depending on traffic. I suck it up and get on with it.

Original poster
blackheartsgirl · 12/10/2017 23:25

Run rabbit I’ve just thought. Last year I didn’t have a car for a couple of weeks because mine died, we both worked at the same place but different shift but still together, her bf made me meet them in town for a lift because it was going out of his way to come and get me from my house!!!

Jeez what twats they are

OP posts:
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