I must be a troll...

[WhitePhantom]

Ok, been here years, Mexican house thief, naice ham, pom bears, cutted up pear, etc.

It's so easy to rattle them all off to prove my non-trollness.

But the only one of those stories I actually know is the Mexican house thief - what a brilliant story of cheeky fuckeriness!

Can someone fill me in on the others? Thanks!

Mexican house thief is absolutely amazing, in every sense of that word.

Penis beaker was where a poster asked whether it was normal to keep a beaker of water by the bed for, er, penile dunking after sex. Edited highlights here:

www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/the-best-of-the-amazing-penis-beaker-debate?utm_term=.bnnKepEk6#.vjjo7xQ96

‘Your minge’ was the best for me.

The microwaved dog one had me actually sniggering to the point of being asked what I was reading

Aah just reading the words Elderly Korean Lady gives me a lovely warm feeling. Except the spider bit.... yeuck...

Although for a bit of woo nothing beats Savernake Forest

I've never heard of the mexican House thief one. And I total missed penis beaker (thank God it sounds revolting) I don't remember naice ham. I did like 'is that you UCM' - that was funny.

But (grumpy oldie alert) Classics used to be a bit more discriminating in what went in - it did have to be funny. Now it seems pretty much anything goes into classics. ('I bought a new bag' 'Tell me about the time you accidentally wore odd socks' 'My DH mistook a kit kat for a twix' , 'What's your favourite humming noise'.. etc etc)

Grumps off muttering about the good old days.

Pom bears really lived up to the expectations for me, I thought it was v funny. A more recent one I thought was really funny but haven't seen many people mention when doing the whole 'I am a munsnetter, honest, naice ham, Pom bears etc) was the stunt pineapple thread.

What was the cancel the cheque thing? Anyone know?

There is a thread in Classics that holds other threads in classics. Inception thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2983538-To-ask-for-a-round-up-of-all-the-little-MN-in-jokes

You can just read it, it's all in there.

HesterLee thank you for that link to the Chaos classic thread, very, very funny .

The "Your Minge" thread was great.

Also the one "How can I be more French"

Sharon and the Wasp is a classic (I think it is also a Classic)

I wasn't drunk enough reading it at the time to appreciate it

The latest Liam Gallagher thread is by far the most ingenious and witty. I have a great deal of respect for the OP coming up with the immortal words “Liam Gallagher won’t feel the benefit” because he wears his trench coat everywhere (probably in bed!)

I personally don’t do obvious humour so find all the waffle about Korean Lady, naive ham nonsense pretty tedious.

Liam is funny without trying (see the video of him recounting his unfortunately dandruff affliction, which a fan grabbed at and tried to snort thinking it was coke). Now that’s classic

Oh Your Minge is definitely absolutely amazing. I nearly cried reading that one and I’m a tough nut to crack!

Elderly Korean lady was quite sweet, think she produced delicious looking noodles and remained stoically silent whilst bonding with local cats and OPs son.

Haven't read any of the others!

I liked the one where the husband had eaten a fatball the children had been making for the birds and complained it was a bit greasy

One of the most memorable for me has to be "fanny condensation" MNers rejoiced in the fact they were not alone! Wonder how many of us perfected the "slide and twist" manoeuvre after that.

Papa the thread wasn't about nice ham, it was loads of MNers who got obsessed with finding other people's shopping lists left over in baskets and things and posting them. One list went

Random item
Random item
Ham
Random item
Random item
Random item
Random item
Nice ham

Or something and they were speculating on the difference. It was an odd thread, not sure why it's in Classics except for that one post.

Trexing with the basket was my top fave. There've been plenty others which have made me cry with laughter but my memory is shiiiiite.

Everyone forgets about paul the fake tanned pigeon

What was the cancel the cheque thing? Anyone know?

This was the thread that brought me here. A woman had gone to a former colleague's wedding and had given them a cheque for £100 as a gift. The bride later emailed her saying 'Thank you for being part of our special day. We were surprised your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on the day, especially considering your recent good fortune. If you wanted to remedy this our account details are xyz'.

Pretty much everyone agreed the bride was a grasping bitch who'd only invited the OP because she'd just received a large inheritance. Every other post was 'Cancel the cheque!' OP returned and said it was too late, it had already been cashed. Obviously no one took a blind bit of notice and kept saying it. Then of course several others chimed in to say 'OP has already said it's too late' - so yet more people thought it was funny to say it again but with a laughing emoji.

Don’t know the nice ham one, but I am guilty of writing nice ham on my shopping list! We have nice ham (for us) and cat ham (cheaper one for the cat!). So it might have been me!!!! However the cat has now shunned the cheaper ham and do I just buy one sort now and the cat does very well!!

What was the bloke offering sacred yoni massages pervert ages back? Was he called Derek or somesuch? And the pirate noises during sex was tres amusant.

What about "Penetration" guy?

Is that in Classics?