To think friend was being a bit tight over internet password

[CadgingCarol]

Name changed as I'm an over sharer.
Anyway I had some issues with paying my internet account recently basically direct debit hadn't come out and I'd been cut off long story!

I was stuck at home on my own with the kids, my older dc was going on and on and on about internet being cut off stress. I thought I'll ring up and pay to get it back on etc but realised I couldn't transfer the money as no internet! My phone internet wouldn't work either.
I thought shit, I messaged my friend who lives close and I'm a round about way asked her if I could borrow her internet password to get things sorted,
Her reply was "sorry I don't want to give it out" now we've been friends for over 4 years have each other kids do stuff etc etc so I was quite shocked at her response. It's basically saying she doesn't trust me isn't it?
Yes the internet being back on wasn't urgent but I still needed it back on ASAP. I wouldn't have given a second thought to giving a "friend" the password so aibu to think she isn't really a friend as she didn't help me out when I was in the shit?

To be not tonne

And as for the bill thing without going into the whole ins and outs of what happened...it was a mistake not that I didn't have the money! They don't send bills with warnings etc anymore, they send emails and I don't always pick them up.

Who changes their important passwords to the code on the side of their router??
Bollocks your mate was being a bell end. Some people are just ridiculously stingy OP
I'd let neighbours use my wifi if they needed it - unless I had reason to think they are dodgy. Then change the password if their device kept coming up on my list of users

I would quite happily give them to my mum in similar circumstances. I haven't had to but I would totally trust her not to fleece me.

I wouldn't. I trust my Mum more than I trust myself with my money, tbh but I don't trust the security on her laptop as she isn't that aware of all potential risks. I use online banking on my phone, always through a VPN and I still know I'm facing a risk there.
I had an elderly neighbour and when our printer was broken, I asked if I could print out our flight tickets on his computer. He had no problem with that, it was an emergency but I still brought the tickets as PDF on a USB key and never used it since. On the other hand, I regularly helped him to setup printers, fix his WIFI etc. and on one occasion I was installing a virus scan programme on his old computer. I was watching the scan running and the fact that he was doing his internet banking and managed his savings on a computer that had more viruses and other shit on it than a military biological lab was fucking scary.
As the computer was ancient, I basically told him to throw it away, buy himself another one + an antivirus subscription. His idea of an antivirus was reflected in the story he firmly believed in: his equally old friend getting rid of a virus in his computer by putting a statue of Virgin Mary on top of the monitor. I swear I only laughed later, when I came home.

Why would OP do a bank transfer from public wifi? That's more ridiculous than not giving out your wifi password

Your internet password isn't normally the same password to access the emails from the company btw.

I'd give you our wifi password but we don't change it from the one given to us when installed.

It's actually not safe to use the same password for everything btw.

Perhaps she has a data cap not unlimited usage and is concerned that your (possibly ongoing) usage would use up her allowance.

Murphys

Most connections in the UK are limited by bandwidth of the overall connection rather than Gb per month. The commonest model is a bundle including broadband, phone and some format of TV programming.

I'm impressed by a friend who trusts the OP to look after her children but not using the wifi.

Incidentally for those posters implying financial incompetence on the part the OP as if money troubles somehow make someone less in need of help - my neighbour had exactly this happen to her about 6 months ago. Gold plated credit rating, track record of monthly payments going back for years. An error happened between her bank and the provider and payment didn't go out. She was cut off without a letter to warn her (and yes, I extended my guest wifi for her to use whilst she was without access).

She switched to Virgin so they lost a long term customer.

Also surprised that so many people don't seem to know the difference between the router and the network. Two different passwords, two different levels of risk.

I cant legally give mine out as it would allow access to confidential encrypted documents Once someone can get into my wifi they could spy on me, I'm not saying they would but I would be in breech of data legislation. Surly you have mobile phone data allowance if that has also been used up learn to say no to you kids and get them doing real play instead of using the internet babysitter so you can get your finances straight otherwise next month you will be in the same boat.
As a friend I d give you food electricity heating but I wouldn't be pleased about being asked to finance luxury items. Even if it is in the way of using my internet. If your kids had homework Id say bring them round they can use my computer under supervision.

There's varying aspects to trust. For example, you might trust someone not to do something deliberately malicious against you but then you might not trust them not to do something stupid due to a lack of judgement, common sense or admin skills. You know, like someone who can't manage their mundane household bills or thinks nothing of giving out banking passwords and PINs to friends and family.

I trust my wife with my life but I wouldn't give her my Internet banking details or my card PINs because she is very tech unsavvy (hence much more likely to fall for phishing attacks etc) and she has a terrible habit of writing down passwords and codes. The other issue is that every bank has it as standard in their terms and conditions that you do not reveal your security details to anyone and if you do they may not cover you in the event of fraud. So, let's say you fall victim to a hacker or scammer who takes a sum of money out your account. You report it to the bank and they do a security review during which they determine that your partner used your card and PIN 3 weeks ago. You've breached their terms and are not protected. It doesn't matter if there is no suggestion that your wife was connected in any way to the fraud in question, you've failed in your duty to keep your security details private.

Re the wifi password, giving that out is very low risk in general terms and most people are happy to give it to any visitor to their house without a second thought, though people on restricted data allowances may be more frugal. So, on the one hand she is being unreasonable. However, maybe she just doesn't understand enough to feel comfortable risk assessing the request so has just erred on the side of caution and said no. Or, maybe she didn't trust you just to use it for this immediate issue and didn't want the hassle of having to change it to prevent you using it indefinitely, including giving it out to visitors to your house. She may well not even be sure how to change it. You asked, she said no. Forget it and move on.

My neighbor recently asked to temporarily use mine I said ok but when I discovered that the cable company had disabled the facility for creating a guest account, I declined. If your friend asked to borrow a fiver, would you give them your pin, of course you wouldn’t because the pin could you give you access to more than a fiver.

The truth is people’s understanding of internet security is very poor and the most inocuos behaviour on your part could expose your friend to all sorts of nefarious actions by others. I could easily see you giving the password to your teens just to keep them quiet and what would stop them visiting dodgy websites or downloading torrents etc.

As inconvenient as it was, from a security point of view, she was right to refuse your request.

jannier

How judgy are you

'Using the internet as a babysitter' what have you that impression

Have = gave

For God's sake people, change your router passwords from the one it comes with, preferably to something very long with a mix of letters etc.
Never use the default password on anything.

And yes OP you were unreasonable.

I cant legally give mine out as it would allow access to confidential encrypted documents Once someone can get into my wifi they could spy on me, I'm not saying they would but I would be in breech of data legislation

They can't spy on you by using your wifi unless every machine and document on your network is open to the whole network (which for confidential documents would in itself be a breach in most cases).

I sometimes have to hold and access secure documents at home but they are encrypted, on a secured machine without external access.

I completely disagree that internet connectivity is a luxury - it was 20 years ago but its essential to access most services now (including most government services, especially for the poorest). At the very least you pay a financial penalty for accounts not accessed and managed via the internet.

Schools routinely set homework which requires internet access to portals and information. TV services are routinely delivered by the same mechanism (TV has been regarded as essential in Gov stats for at least a generation)
Its also the primary means of communication for many people - land lines are going out of fashion.

OP has stated several times she is in a rural area with no 3g connection.

She didn't have to give you her wifi password - she could surely have logged your computer on for you, then deleted the connection afterwards??

I wouldn't give my password out for our internet either. Your friend is quite within reason to say no.

You asked, she said no, don't read more into it than that.

I think that you feel hurt as you wouldn't think twice about giving yours out to a friend. As you can see by the reponses here that people have different thoughts on what they do in any situation. So for my tupppence worth if you like this friend I would try and not see it as her being a bad friend or that she doesnt trust you but it is just one of those little quirks of privacy people have. If you are a trustworthy person and I am sure you are there is no reasn fro anyone to think you are otherwise :-)

whats a CF???

All my friends have my wifi password. I don't understand how this is BU? Her bill isn't going to go up because her 'friend' logged on ffs

I moved into a new house recently. I met the neighbour as we were walking into our houses and she asked me how things we're going....

"everything's grand, but I can't get Virgin to connect the internet for another 2 weeks and I'm missing all the rugby" said I.

Anyway, 5 minutes later an envelope appeared through the door with her Wifi details.

So yes, you're friends being tight.

Her bill isn't going to go up because her 'friend' logged on ffs

You have no idea what sort of plan her friend is on. A lot of people still have a data limit and even people with an uncapped allowance will have acceptable usage limits in their contract which if breached could see them put on restrictions. Besides, there's bandwidth and latency to consider as well and as they appear to live in a rural area (no 3g) that is very much a possible issue.

For God's sake people, change your router passwords from the one it comes with, preferably to something very long with a mix of letters etc. Never use the default password on anything.

Which you then have to write down somewhere to remember... firstly, not sure how that is so much more secure, and secondly, who are these people who break into houses without being noticed to steal wifi pass codes from the back of routers?

Every child on the street has our password it's the first thing anyone who visits asks for. It's just a big line of alpha numeric characters that are stuck to the fridge and the internet box.