To think friend was being a bit tight over internet password

[CadgingCarol]

Name changed as I'm an over sharer.
Anyway I had some issues with paying my internet account recently basically direct debit hadn't come out and I'd been cut off long story!

I was stuck at home on my own with the kids, my older dc was going on and on and on about internet being cut off stress. I thought I'll ring up and pay to get it back on etc but realised I couldn't transfer the money as no internet! My phone internet wouldn't work either.
I thought shit, I messaged my friend who lives close and I'm a round about way asked her if I could borrow her internet password to get things sorted,
Her reply was "sorry I don't want to give it out" now we've been friends for over 4 years have each other kids do stuff etc etc so I was quite shocked at her response. It's basically saying she doesn't trust me isn't it?
Yes the internet being back on wasn't urgent but I still needed it back on ASAP. I wouldn't have given a second thought to giving a "friend" the password so aibu to think she isn't really a friend as she didn't help me out when I was in the shit?

This is getting daft, for the record we have one I pad in the house, my son had a phone and there is an I pod. My kids don't live on devices but sadly now you need an app to do homework, my 12 year old was being a 12 year old and my 2 year old wanted to watch peppa via Netflix.
There were 5 other kids in the house that couldn't have gave a shit about lack of internet.
I've already explained up thread I didn't have a clue the money hadn't come out as direct debits come out of a seperate account and something fucked up along the way.

BertrandRussell

"So are you saying that anyone who has the password to my wifi has automatic access to my iPad, phone and laptop? Surely not."

Everything on your router is connected to everything else, which is why you can print stuff from your PC or your tablet. As C8H10N4O2 says, getting any further may require a other password, but if you log in as Bertrand and have the same password as for your WFfi (or no password) then access is no problem. There's a reason why the WiFi has a password; if you really don't value the protection it gives then you can just disable it.

"Bertrand, people upthread have made the valid point in response to your questions that if you allow free access to your wifi you run the risk of someone else's illegal activity online/accessing dodgy websites being attributed to you. You seem to be ignoring it."

I'm not ignoring it. I'm just not friends with people who would access dodgy websites.

"As C8H10N4O2 says, getting any further may require a other password, but if you log in as Bertrand and have the same password as for your WFfi (or no password) then access is no problem."

But nobody, surely, would be that stupid?

if it were a one off then id give the password but id put it in

my daughter had a "friend * who came up a couple of times a week and was glued to her phone for a few hrs with hardly any conversation which i though was odd .. the first time she came she asked for our internet password and must have taken a copy of it.

Turned out her mums internet was cut off .out they had limited wifi at weekends !!!! She was only using my daughter to get free wifi for a few hrs to chat online to her other friends .! only found this out when her mum got it back unlimited 6 months later her friend stopped being nice to her

Some people on here are surely begging to be scammed.

My computer used to turn on in the middle of the night. I was also notified that

the account was being used one town over. I still do not know why, but it is scary to be awakened by your computer turning on at 230 a.month.

I do not know if one of my dc "shared" the password or if I was hacked. Passwords are not for sharing.

Oops, 2:30 am.

I'm not ignoring it. I'm just not friends with people who would access dodgy websites.

And again you ignore the issue of people doing something illegal online, e.g. downloading copyrighted stuff. Given that a lot of people don't necessarily see that as illegal and you seem to give your password out with great freedom, how sure are you that you are safe from that? Or even if the people you give the details to are guaranteed safe, are you sure that they might not pass them on to others who aren't?

But the point is that you are saying that it's mean-spirited and nasty for anyone not to give out their wifi password. So you think everyone should follow your practice, without acknowledging that although visitors to your house may all be living saints, not everyone can guarantee that. There's a scenario, for instance, where someone agrees to help out a neighbour in OP's situation, neighbour gives their password to other members of the family so they also can access the internet, and child's mate visiting the house downloads films illegally. Can you perhaps see that being cautious with the password is not in fact being mean, but could be entirely sensible?

My friends generally have a similar moral compass to mine. Otherwise I wouldn't trust them, for example, to care for my children. And I am as sure as I can be that they wouldn't do anything with my wifi password that I wouldn't like. I have a friend who occasionally (and entirely legally) borrows my car. I am pretty sure she is not going to use it to transport drugs or carry out hit and runs. She did get a parking ticket once- but she paid it at once with profuse apologies.

Several people have keys to my house. They could, if they chose, steal all my stuff. But I know they won't. Because they are my friends and family.

BertrandRussell
I will give my wi-fi password to any of my mates that enter my house and ask for it. But I wouldnt give it to anyone who lives close enough to me to have access from their house.
I honestly don't know how you can completely trust anyone these days. I perhaps have 2 close friends that I completely trust. But to me life has proven time and time again that what people say and what people do are 2 completely different things.
I mean no one is openly going to go up to someone and be like "Hi, Im a pedophile". They might admit that they download movies illegally, but there never going to admit to anything really bad.
You cant seem to pick up a newspaper without some story of a teacher having a relationship with a student, male or female. And these are people who are professionally vetted and checked.
I know its a very cynical out look on life.

You're saying she's a bad friend for saying no?

I'm saying you're a bad friend for not accepting no for an answer.

People are allowed to have boundaries. They are allowed to have boundaries that differ from yours. (You have no qualms about giving your internet password to all and sundry. Your friend is not you.) They are allowed to set and maintain those boundaries.

I don't think you were unreasonable to ask. I always say, ask the question! The worst they can say is no! Well, you asked the question, and she said no. For you to then come on here huffing and grumping like she is the unreasonable one tells me you are not the sort of person I would want for a friend.

People are allowed to say no, even to friends. Even to you. Actual friends accept no for an answer. Cadging freeloaders whine and complain when they're told no.

I feel the need to keep rebutting everything OP says, so I'm going to do one more post.

you must be very untrusting
I can't quite put my finger on why this particular sentiment has my shoulders up around my ears, but it's something about the sheer entitlement of it. "YOU'RE NOT DOING WHAT I WANT CLEARLY YOU DON'T TRUST ME BAD FRIEND NO COOKIE" or similar. Simply put, it reflects more poorly on you than on your neighbor.

And the poster that says I'm a cheeky fucker I suppose I'm a cheeky fucker for feeding her kid, looking after her kid, giving her kid money for sweets...
You're certainly not Friend Of The Year for treating favors like barter or trade. She asked you to look after her kid - you said yes. You didn't say "yes, as long as you give me your internet password" and she suddenly reneged. You're being very unreasonable to assume that because you did her one favor, you're now entitled to demand anything you like in return.

Your friend is not very kind. She trusts you with her children but not her internet, wtf?! grin Just remember this when she wants a favour.
This isn't friendship, it's ugliness. It's not being a friend, it's being mercenary. I don't do my friends favors so I can get something from them. I do them out of the kindness of my heart, because we're friends. I don't expect anything in return.

I wholeheartedly agree with every single word of what @bingbongnoise said. Especially this:
Once again though, we have people saying people are tight/ mean/ stingy/ unreasonable/ awkward/uptight etc etc, because they don't want to do something they would do. I get sick of people being lambasted by posters, because they have a different way of dealing with things, and a different set of standards.

They don't send bills with warnings etc anymore, they send emails and I don't always pick them up.
So then they do send warnings. Just because you don't bother to read them doesn't mean they weren't sent.

Meanwhile, OP, you admit fairly recently on this thread that you could have called the bank but you didn't think of it. I can see how. Too busy demanding things from people and then throwing a tantrum when they weren't handed to you. Shameful behavior - but not from your neighbor. From you.

The admin password is same for all branded boxes. This is not the SSID password written on the box. If someone knows your router brand they can access it via admin rights, change your configuration and boot you out of your network

hks

"if it were a one off then id give the password but id put it in"

Once you have entered the WiFi password into a device it is saved there until it is explicitly deleted. You don't have to keep entering the password on your own devices, do you. That means, unless you change the password on your router, those people will be able to connect to your system thereafter whenever they are in range. There is no one-off.

Were you bu for asking? Nah
Was she bu for saying no? No because you have no idea why she did
Are you bu for throwing your toys out of the pram and dissing her because she didn't do what you asked? Hell yes.
Personally i would have happily looked up the telephone number of the internet provider or your bank and sent it to you but unrestricted access? Nah.
Your moan makes you sound like a complete cf

I'm saying you're a bad friend for not accepting no for an answer.

Where did the op say that she didn't accept no for an answer?

Coming on the internet to whine and complain about being told no doesn't exactly sound like "accepting no for an answer" to me. It sounds like whining and complaining about it.

Accepting it looks something like this. "Ah, darn. Oh well, I guess I"ll find another way. Fancy a coffee?"

YABU! u asked for a favour from your friend and she inconvenienced u by refusing u access to her wifi. Ur being way too touchy about it. There are plenty of public places with free wifi

YABU. I use the same or similar passwords on most of my IT stuff so sharing it with you wouldn’t be a good idea for all sorts of reasons. Why no go to the library and use their internet there? Or, if it’s closed, go to McD - you have a long coffee, if you don’t like it, feed the kids, then you can all do your internet stuff there. Including sorting out your own internet too into the bargain! We use it regularly on holiday, sometimes just sat in the car part (order drinks though and ask for code). Just watch out you don’t get clobbered for parking g there for too long!

I am usually fine about giving the wifi code out, but only because I know that we have set things up securely, and also that the wifi is not accessible to anyone outside of our house. Hell, it doesn't even spread to our office in the garage! But if someone has a setup which is less secure, I can understand why they would be wary.