What is a fair amount of house work if you work from home ?

[36plusandtrying]

Keen to get an idea really - DH works from home, I work full time at least an hour commute each way traffic dependant. DH in bed/still asleep when I leave always bring him coffee. Even if he is awake he never offers to get up, make me a tea, pack my lunch - even if I'm rushing. I often stick a washing or dishwasher on before leaving. (Will let DH know if I have done and ask him to hang out) I've lost count on the amount of times I come home to rewash a stale washing, take one in from outside, unload dishwasher, put away dishes etc. He will help cook at night, because he enjoys this leaving me to tidy round/unload the dishwasher. I never come home to dinner on the table. I understand that he is working, but aibu to expect him to do a bit more ? Or do I just need to be appreciative of what little he does?

50% between both adults is fair in any situation especially if you are both working however does it matter when he does it? Although I’d be pissed off if I was coming in to all his dishes and the curtains not open. Stuff like that can be done anytime during his work day he has a few minutes.

@Caulkheadupnorf yep if that was the case all my washing is stale

Single Mum working from home.

My computer locks down every 55 mins to give me a 5 min break. In that time I can do LOADS of stuff. So yeah....little tasks are fine, but nothing that takes me away from my desk for too long.
I can chop veggies, put some washing on, hang some out, wash up.
I won't change beds, hoover, clean, do admin etc, that gets done later maybe

50% between both adults is fair in any situation - Some time ago DH was considering taking a job that would mean 3 hours of commuting per day, plus probably a night or 2 staying away from home. I work full time, but with 10 min commute.

I would not consider it fair to demand that he would also do 50% of housework in this situation.

I WFH 3 days a week. Depending on my workload, I cook (but I always cook anyway as I love it), wash up, sort laundry and might run the hoover round if it's particularly bad. But we have a cleaner once a week to do the deep clean stuff.

I work from home 3 days a week and other than working I get my son up and dressed and walk him to nursery, make beds, clear and clean kitchen, empty and reload dishwasher and do one or two washes.

After work I collect my son from nursery, give him dinner and a bath and put him to bed. Husband gets home at 7pm and cooks dinner while I have a sit down.

It is hard to balance and I do feel people can expect you to be a housekeeper as well as working from home.

Another one shocked that washing is stale and needing washed again if it’s put on in the morning. I put a load on in the morning before work and bing it in the drier In the evening. I did t think I was committing a laundry sin.

Oh yes I do nursery pick up and drop off too, but DS has breakfast and dinner at nursery, so I just do bath and milk/snack, and then DH is home and we both do bedtime.

Good for you KatharinaRosalie and if you weren’t there he would have to do 100% or get a cleaner. If it had it been you taking the job I hope your oh would be as equally lenient on you in that case.

None between 8.30am and 5pm or wherever he is being paid. I have stuck washing in during my lunch but more often than not I don't. I clear up the breakfast stuff etc before 8.30 and then collect my child after I finish at 5 and start making tea and preparing for whatever DS hobby happens to be on that night. My company are paying for me to work not clean. No wonder working from home gets slammed.

If it had it been you taking the job I hope your oh would be as equally lenient on you in that case. - well I go on business trips every now and then and he does not leave half the weeks laundry and dishes for me to do upon my return.
"Equal leisure time" is fairer way in my opinion than 50-50.

He could do all the domestic stuff while you commute. Have a break at lunchtime.

Equal leisure time yes. That’s it.

I wfh and work far more hours than dp including his commute. I also take care of school runs and cooking when dp is working (he does it on his days off or if I am running behind he takes over from me when he gets in). I am up with dp in the morning. I do not do housework during the day unless it is urgent except ironing, and that is only because I have fabric to iron and it makes sense to do it in bits at the same time. Everything else gets done in the evening or on days off between us.

it would be normal for us for the home working one to unload dishwasher, load breakfast pots, put a wash on before 9am. At lunchtime, hang up the washing. Then start dinner once we'd finished work

YY to this ^

I work from home and it drives my OH mad that I dont clean during work hours or even in my lunch break. However my work is stressful etc and that lunch break is very much needed! I feel it's unfair to use my only break during the working day to do masses of washing up etc. In the same way that if you were working in an office and on your lunch break and had to clean the bathrooms!

The way we manage it is during my working hours it's like I'm not at home and am at the office. I get my breaks etc and the house remains the same as it would If I was in an office. However that does mean that I wake up earlier to do washing up etc just the same as i would If I was leaving the house. I also clean when I finish work as normal.

I think you have to split the chores more evenly!

You see, I don’t mind doing those things in my breaks. I have a desk job so getting up and doing bins, or washing up is not using my brain and I’m on my feet.

Couples need to talk about what works for them

I have a four hour commute and work in an office 60 hours per wk. DH is home based and done by 6. Therefore he does the lionshare of the housework.

I thought that too Caulk

I wfh. As others have said, that means working for my employer, not housework. However it makes much more sense for me to take 15mins out at 12 o'clock to stick something in the slow cooker, and then work 15mins later (or start earlier).... or hang a wash out, or whatever. It is about time management, not doing anymore or any less around the house.
Also agree it should be about having equal time that you can choose to do what you want - that might be slob in front of TV or might be go for a run it doesn't matter as long as it is your choice.
As to if you count a commute as work- it is going to depend on your commute..... driving across City / waiting in rain for a bus I'd say is equivalent to working time but reading a book or doing a bit of MNing on a train for 45mins is leisrue time, IMO.

I work from home. The only housework I do at the same time is put on a load of laundry, and hang it up to dry after it's done.

And clear up my own lunch.

I work from home. When work is busy I do nothing, nothing, nothing but work. If I can make a cuppa that is impressive. Today I had 10 mins to make a sandwich and ate it whilst on the phone at 3pm for lunch. I don’t do dishes or washing or cooking! Ok when work is quiet I do loads of house jobs but recently it’s been all work. :(

Really interesting to understand everyone's views. I have threaten to get a cleaner many times over, as I do the lions share and get annoyed having to spend my Saturday morning doing it while the boys go to football (I have a SS) but then I look at the money and think I'd prefer to spend that on myself. Plus I adore my house, look a lot of hard work to get it, so want it looking right all the time. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not asking my DH to do a spring clean during the day. But lite jobs like washing, dishes can easily be achieved. He's not lazy, just very selective in the ways he will help ! Happy to cook, get groceries, sort finances, arrange quotes - he would rather hand wash a whole lot of dishes than unload and put away the dishes. I work a semi-typical 8:00-5-30, stay late/work early when needed. DH, hours are all over the place - works across 3/4 time zones so often travels and takes calls/works into the evening. But he runs his sector, so doesn't have a boss breathing down his neck so to speak. One interesting thing from the thread was the comment if they don't have children there can't be too much to do ... lol, fair point - but I alway find something to do !

I may be inferring things you didn't mean to imply, but this post, to me, suggests that you actually think doing household stuff is more important than he does. You have 'higher standards' if you like. So, even if you both had 3 hours a day in the house, you would choose to be titivating the house, whilst he would choose other things. Your 'adoration' for your house, your 'wanting it to look right all the time' certainly suggest that you want it 'just so' but that isn't important to a lot of other people - certainly me included, and, quite likely him.
As for preferring to wash the dishes than unload the dishwasher - so what? I don't see why this is a problem . Because he doesn't choose to do things the same as you, doesn't make him wrong, or not pulling his weight.

He needs to employ the cleaner.

Hand washing is fine. The issue will grow when children arrive though. So if you are hoovering weekly, cooking and washing up daily, he will still expect those things and for him to relax.

Sit down with him. Together list everything that needs ro be done each day and week. Ask him to help draw up a rota and allocate jobs . STick it on the kitchen wall