What is a fair amount of house work if you work from home ?

[36plusandtrying]

Keen to get an idea really - DH works from home, I work full time at least an hour commute each way traffic dependant. DH in bed/still asleep when I leave always bring him coffee. Even if he is awake he never offers to get up, make me a tea, pack my lunch - even if I'm rushing. I often stick a washing or dishwasher on before leaving. (Will let DH know if I have done and ask him to hang out) I've lost count on the amount of times I come home to rewash a stale washing, take one in from outside, unload dishwasher, put away dishes etc. He will help cook at night, because he enjoys this leaving me to tidy round/unload the dishwasher. I never come home to dinner on the table. I understand that he is working, but aibu to expect him to do a bit more ? Or do I just need to be appreciative of what little he does?

I would say whatever you can do in the commuting time of the other person.
So, if my dp commutes 45 mins to work each way, then I can get a wash on and pop to the shops in the morning, and maybe clean the bathroom and run the vac round in the afternoon.
I could probably cover most of the weekly housework in these times on my own, which is one reason I don't really want to cohabit! Dp works long hours, I work mainly at home, but I don't want to feel like someone elses housekeeper.
When you work at home you have to prioritise work in your working hours.
Having said that your dh sounds dead lazy. He could do more during your commute time.

WFH here today. When I am at home (fixed, 1 day per week), I do anything that is a) on a time delay (like putting on the washing whilst the kettle boils, which I would spend aimlessly in the kitchen at work, so it's ready to be put out later) and b) anything urgent (taking in washing, cat poo in trays/hairballs etc). I do A tasks when on a natural work break - lunch or whilst making tea (or in the 15m allocated for break time anyway) and B tasks as they happen, and make up the time for them.

I also think it's kind to arrange the food arrangements so that the non-commuter cooks that day, but that really is specific to our own schedule.

Otherwise, well, I'm working!

I totally disagree that more housework should be done than 50:50 because he doesn't have a commute. Firstly, I think many people (including me) would find a commute much easier than housework (especially if on public transport). Secondly, the DH may spend more hours on his job than OP because he doesn't commute. Indeed, his employer may expect it. That is certainly why my employer lets me work at home (they know I get more done as a consequence). I think it is outrageous that anyone would try to manage the minutiae of someone's day when there can't be that much to do overall if they don't have children.

50/50 is fair. Working from home is still work and needs to be protected time.

I tidy up a bit and put out the washing. I also go for a walk each day during my lunch break, so pick up bits from the shops where needed.

It sounds like he is a bit lazy. Emptying the dishwasher is something that can be done whilst making a cup of tea.

I wouldn’t expect to be able to clean the bathroom or something like that, but I have the children till school starts, so my ‘commute’ time is used up doing childcare.

Varies so much - sometimes i don't even eat lunch, other days like today i feel brain dead and have a mn browse and put a laundry on.

But, laundry washed first thing doesn't need rewashed if it's not hung out till the end of the same day. it'll be fine.

It sounds like he is a bit lazy. Emptying the dishwasher is something that can be done whilst making a cup of tea.

It is also something that can be done at the end of the day when no longer working.

I WFH two days out of four, and I usually get a couple of loads of washing done in that time, plus the dishwasher emptied or loaded, the breakfast washing up done, maybe food shopping in my lunch hour. Occassionally I'd get a roast started or bake in my lunch hour too. DP WFH one day and he tends to spend the morning "commute time" doing his own ironing (not mine, I'm not bothered about my things being ironed), or he might run the vaccuum round. What neither of us do is proper cleaning, eg the bathrooms, mopping, that kind of thing. We tend to do a blitz together at the weekend. I have to be pretty strict about this because I don't want to end up as the housewife who also works 30 hours a week as well.

(On day 5, I'm at home with our toddler, which is a job in itself.)

If you work broadly the same hours (and I would include your commute in that) you should split the housework 50:50. I wfh (self employed) and was doing the lion's share of the housework however recently I sat down and wrote out a list of jobs that need doing and how often. I divided them into what I thought was two equal amounts of work and told my other half that if he didn't do his share then he would need to get a cleaner in.

Its important to divide the actual tasks into 2 halves, not the time your DP takes to do them because if he's anything like mine he will dawdle.

If they do work the same hours then how is it fair to share housework 50-50, when one has 10 more free hours per working week? (5x2h commute per day). So much more leisure time does not sound fair to me.

I work from home and have spare minutes to put the wash on, yang it out, unload dishwasher etc (maybe not all at once). You're commuting FFS, your parent is being lazy.
Stop taking him coffee

If they do work the same hours then how is it fair to share housework 50-50, when one has 10 more free hours per working week? (5x2h commute per day). So much more leisure time does not sound fair to me.

Unless you have exactly the same job as someone else it's not possible exactly how many hours are required for their job? OP knows that he doesn't get up at the same time but maybe he starts working within 10 minutes of her leaving the house and then be working flat out for the rest of the day with no breaks etc. They should just discuss what tasks need to be done and then split them evenly. Telling someone who is working at home to do houswork while they are meant to be working is not on.

iamalways Yes he could use the commute time. Clock off at 5 then start the evening meal. That is what I do. I also don't take a proper lunch break. I eat at my computer. I start at 10, straight up, shower, breakfast at my desk. Can't start earlier due to medical issues, DH has to help me get showered and dressed, then he goes off to work, so I work during his commute.

Realistically I can start the evening meal, put a load of washing on, which either DS hang up when they come home from college, hand wash some dishes and light tidy up during times I am waiting for kettle to boil etc.

Yes he could use the commute time. Clock off at 5 then start the evening meal. That is what I do.

You might be able to do that but that doesn't mean that OP's DH can. It depends on his job but often those who do reasonably well paid jobs at home are professionals who have to meet certain deadlines regardless of the time it takes. They often aren't in jobs where they can clock off at 5 p.m. regardless of what they have achieved. Regardless if OP and her DH don't have children yet there can't be that much housework and there really is no need to make a fuss about the fact the the dishwasher hasn't been unloaded and dinner is not on the table etc.

if OP and her DH don't have children yet there can't be that much housework and there really is no need to make a fuss about the fact the the dishwasher hasn't been unloaded - well, someone has to unload it and as there isn't that much to do, why can't the DH be the someone? One rarely sees lazy men stepping up once they have kids and workload multiplies.

I work from home and have done for years. I do my housework as I go along. eg I take a lunch break for an hour then do an hour of housework which includes starting evening meal, I resume work, then later on say another 30 minutes housework. There are days I let it slide but I'm on it next day. Working from home = no boss hanging over me, no commute so why wouldn't I do housework? We make time for what needs to be done. Your man doesn't want to do housework so he doesn't do it, simple as that. I may add, I'm one who always 'works very hard' if I'm asked about working from home - but I can tell you there are times I just stop, make tea then sit in MN for 30 mins before resuming work. There's no-one here to see is there? I don't believe anyone who says they work from home with nose to the grindstone throughout. If I've slacked during the day I sometimes do an hour or 2 of work in the evening. Your man is lazy as you're around to pick up the slack. Since when does work, whether inside or outside the home, exempt one from housework?! Tell him it's not on. You both work - he's to do his share 50/50 and stop taking the piss.

I work from home and have done for years. I do my housework as I go along. eg I take a lunch break for an hour then do an hour of housework which includes starting evening meal, I resume work, then later on say another 30 minutes housework. There are days I let it slide but I'm on it next day. Working from home = no boss hanging over me, no commute so why wouldn't I do housework? We make time for what needs to be done. Your man doesn't want to do housework so he doesn't do it, simple as that. I may add, I'm one who always 'works very hard' if I'm asked about working from home - but I can tell you there are times I just stop, make tea then sit in MN for 30 mins before resuming work. There's no-one here to see is there? I don't believe anyone who says they work from home with nose to the grindstone throughout. If I've slacked during the day I sometimes do an hour or 2 of work in the evening. Your man is lazy as you're around to pick up the slack. Since when does work, whether inside or outside the home, exempt one from housework?! Tell him it's not on. You both work - he's to do his share 50/50 and stop taking the piss.

well, someone has to unload it and as there isn't that much to do, why can't the DH be the someone? One rarely sees lazy men stepping up once they have kids and workload multiplies.

I'm not saying that he shouldn't do it at all if that is what is agreed. I am saying that it isn't something that needs to be done during the day whether or not he is at home. You can't describe him as lazy just because he isn't doing housework during the working day. Perhaps he is working flat out on the job he is being paid to do. I think it is outrageous to tell someone to do this or that during the working day, just because they are at working from home, particularly if it is a job that can easily be done at the end of the day.

Same as if you work in an office. Possibly a small amount more since no time spent commuting.

DH shouldn't be 'doing housework' during his working hours, but if he's not a morning person you could suggest he load the dishwasher and washing machine the night before, then he can start them in the morning or at lunchtime and let them do their thing.

OP, you ANBU. I could have written a similar post. My DP works from home and you have same commute as me. I make him breakfast most days. I come home to a mess most nights. Sometimes i go mad, sometimes I don't. I do about 80% of the housework however most of the time DP has made tea and he is good at cooking so can't complain too much. If he didn't, i'd go mad. i think that's the saving grace for him really. Your DP could definitely help out a lot more.

I think he only needs to clean up any mess he makes during the day tbh as he would if he were office based.

I should be clearer... in addition to half of any housework outside of his working hours.

I use the commute time to clean and tidy and do jobs when working from home. Husband does cook thankfully.

I WFH and will attempt to put the washing or drier on / dishwasher when making a brew. On my lunch I walk the dog.
If I can while on calls that I need to listen in on / not participate - I'll either fold washing or hoover

Unless someone's very busy at work, I think it would be normal for us for the home working one to unload dishwasher, load breakfast pots, put a wash on before 9am. At lunchtime, hang up the washing. Then start dinner once we'd finished work. You have more time because you're not travelling.