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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To worry no one will come to my 7yr old's bday party?

17 replies

RubyRedTights · 10/10/2017 18:33

She has asked that her birthday party is a hall and bouncy castle affair so numbers aren't important.

She doesn't have any "friend friends" and none of my friends with kids can come (I believe them).

In previous years we've invited lots of people on the premise that at least some will turn up. This year she was very picky about who she invited and I know from experience that a couple of those don't bother to RSVP and/or turn up.

It's been 4 days since the invites went out and not one person has been in touch.

I'm not sure what to do. I don't see many of the parents.

OP posts:

Bringmewineandcake · 10/10/2017 18:39

Also waiting...it’s been a week and 3/13 have replied. I’m getting twitchy
My DD has also received an invite from someone who has yet to reply to her invite, so I’m in a Mexican stand off

WorriedandExhausted · 10/10/2017 19:12

How many days is it till the party?

When my oldest was that age I would respond straight away.

By the time my younger daughter was old enough to go to parties, my oldest child was in high school, and I was tired of parties. So I always used to delay my responses until about 2 weeks before the date of the party unless the invite said respond ASAP.

Does she have cousins of a similar age that you could invite?

Welwyncitydweller · 10/10/2017 19:16

Oh I hated this! I always replied the day I got the invite.

AuntyElle · 10/10/2017 19:20

Could you explain to her that with a bouncy castle and hall it's the more the merrier, and send out some more invites?

Rolypolybabies · 10/10/2017 19:22

Sent whole class invite, got 13 replies. 38 turned up, 26 from class plus siblings. Was actually great. But still. Always drama

Original poster

RubyRedTights · 10/10/2017 20:15

Bringmewineandcake - it's horrible isn't it. On the plus side, if they've sent an invite then you can assume they'll be attending. Maybe?

Worriedandexhausted - it's less than 2 weeks away. No family anywhere near us. That's why I rely on my friends.

Welwilyncitydweller - Me too. It's just rude not to.

AuntyElle - I've been ttying to get her to invite more people but she won't. I don't know many parents so can't invite them on her behalf. We've chatted about how some people might not be able to come but she won't.

Rolypolybabies - Grrr. It's not hard to send a text is it? I know not everyone has childcare for the other kid/s but it's just polite to tell you they are bringing them.

OP posts:

Lymmmummy · 10/10/2017 20:24

God I hate organising parties of the few I have done so far they seem to be feast or famine - either evey kid wants to come or you are chasing up rsvps and having to send out a second round of invites

We are in your position - no on tap supply of cousins or family children to bulk out the numbers etc

I think if your DD has decided on a short guest list then you can only hope that they will be late in responding - 4 days really is nothing - fingers crossed for you - and perhaps she will be relaxed about low numbers given she herself decided against a large invite list ? How many were invited?

Randomactofkindness · 10/10/2017 20:25

I’ve sent the invite for my sons party this year via Facebook messenger. You can see who’s seen it and I’ve had a great response. Maybe try that approach?

Fishcalledlola · 10/10/2017 20:30

I always reply a week before, it's probably later than people like but we sometimes get an invite a month in advance and work some weekends.
Adding the parents on Facebook is a good way to see if they are coming, create an event, it shows if they have seen it.

Bringmewineandcake · 10/10/2017 23:02

I don’t know Ruby, I’m thinking there’s no way of predicting other parents behaviour! Their invite is so vague I feel I need to ask questions, but I want them to reply first so I can feel more comfortable asking the questions iykwim!

Original poster

RubyRedTights · 10/10/2017 23:39

Bringnewineandcakes - could you text to ask the questions and ask them if they'd got your invite by the way? Of course then you might get the "yes we got the invite thanks" reply and you're left screaming at your phone "well are you coming or not????"
Would you have texted them if you weren't waiting on a reply on yours?

I dunno, I guess I've never fitted in and I see my daughter going the same way. She gets easily overwhelmed and is so independent (and bossy) that she doesn't "need" friends but then I see her broken when she falls out with someone or when no one plays with her. She's not yet cottoned onto the fact that she doesn't get many party invites.

OP posts:

Original poster

RubyRedTights · 10/10/2017 23:42

Randomactofkindness and Fishcalledlola - I don't know the parents. I've tried striking up conversations with parents when I can get to the school gate or at events and most of them are pleasant and friendly but I don't know how to then move on from that. Also a lot of them don't do drop off/pick ups on the same day/time as me.

OP posts:

Bringmewineandcake · 11/10/2017 13:21

Ruby I could but then I’d feel like I was being pushy? At least if they had text first then the conversation would already have started, and I’d feel ok to ask about their party.
Have you heard anything yet?

Kezza8 · 11/10/2017 13:31

In my experience, lots of people don't reply and turn up anyway. You also get the ones that turn up with all other siblings and try to get them in as well. Fine if it's a hall party but not so fine when it price per child. People will come, don't worry!

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 11/10/2017 13:39

My daughters party is Saturday. I was worrying too about getting replies.

I wrote on them please rsvp by 8th October or asap please.

We haven't heard back from 11. The woman who owns the party place, reckons some will still turn up despite not RSVP'ing. She said its very common.

We got a few replies the day they went out. Then they came in dribs and drabs until the rsvp date. We got three on that day. On Monday I messaged the mums I do have on fb who I hadn't heard from whose daughters had said they were coming and they all said oh sorry I forgot to message you, yes she is coming. Then I got a message on Tuesday, two days after rsvp to say her sons coming. So got 27 down to come.

I usually check my calendar then rsvp straight away. Don't know why others find it so hard.

peppapigearworm · 11/10/2017 13:50

I've been ttying to get her to invite more people but she won't

Shes 7, its not really up to her to invite people. If you want more to come, you'll have to invite more.

AuntyElle · 12/10/2017 11:55

I think kids of this age can get quite a specific 'fantasy' party plan in their minds, but not have the life experience to understand the practicalities of organising it. So I agree, OP you might need to override her and invite a few more in order to ensure enough children to have a fun atmosphere.

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