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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that you’re never too old to share a bed with your mum?

94 replies

Blu99 · 10/10/2017 17:59

Me and my sister were talking about this last night. Her DC are 10 and 5 and she loves sharing a bed with them. She thinks they’ll never be too old. I share a bed with my 18 month old until we move into our new house and she gets her own bedroom. I love it but I equally can’t wait for her to have her space and me mine. She’ll always be my baby but I can’t imagine her coming to visit me when she’s 30 and us sharing a bed.

Are you ever too old to share a bed with your mum?

OP posts:
HolyMerlot · 10/10/2017 22:30

I haven’t shared a bed overnight with my Mother in ages but would happily do it in a heartbeat. I’m a 24yo only child who is weirdly close to both DM and DF. I hug and kiss them both (on the lips! - I know that is a dire thing to think about for a lot of people at my ageHmm) every time I see them and every time I say goodbye. It isn’t unknown to find me sat on my DFs lap having a cuddle (and him telling me that once upon a time I used to fit entirely on his lap) or with my head on DMs lap having my hair stroked telling her that “nothing beats the smell of your own Mother” 😂Halo(seriously - why is the smell of your mother’s skin so comforting?!) I bought my own house this time last year with my DP but have just come home from an evening filled with good food and good wine at my parents as my DP is working until midnight tonight. I wouldn’t change them for the world, they’re my best friends Grinwhenever I’ve slept over theirs in the past year (without DP) or before I moved out I’d usually sit on their bed for a chat on weekend mornings and end up wedged between them like I was 5yo again! So long story short, no, I don’t think you’re ever too old to share a bed with your Mum - or Dad! Smile and I don’t think there is any shame at all in being so close to them even as an adult. Cherish the people you love; we’re not here for a long time, we’re here for a good time Wine

Original poster
Blu99 · 11/10/2017 10:53

I’ll still want my dd to come in for occasional snuggles, she’s my little radiator. Looking forward to her having her own room, she needs her space too.

I like the comments about having a morning brew in bed, that’s not quite the same as sharing a bed though. I agree that if needs must then I would with my mum. I would never do it out of choose though but she’s a sourpuss so maybe that’s why

OP posts:
OriginalRhubarbGin · 11/10/2017 11:12

I remember morning cuddles and occasional breakfasts in bed right up to age 10 or so, and do the same with my kids still (9 & 11), but I never actually shared a bed overnight as a child, and nit do I with mine.

However I vividly remember the single time aged 17 when I was literally crawling in the floor with toothache in the early hours of the morning and mum brought me into her bed (and dad went into my empty one). I practically passed out with relief, and the sense of comfort, safety, and love stays with me to this day. If I can ever do similar for my children then of course I will.

MaidOfStars · 11/10/2017 11:34

I'm 40 and would share with my 69 year old Mum if the bed arrangements dictated it. I'm no stranger to three in a bed with her and aunties, so just her might feel like a luxury.

We are a close family Grin

AnUtterIdiot · 11/10/2017 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConcreteUnderpants · 11/10/2017 11:58

I find all this adult bed sharing really odd, especially snuggling between both parents as a grown-up. To me, it's just bizarre.

Must admit though, it sounds really quite nice and I'm happy, but jealous, that so many of you seem to have such good, comfortable and secure relationships with your parents.

MuseumOfCurry · 11/10/2017 12:02

I would not want to share a bed with anyone other than my husband or children.

My 15 year old still comes into our bed when I'm there alone with the dog, but it's a big bed and I stay on the other side. My 11 year old is still in my bed all.the.time and we snuggle as he falls asleep and periodically though the night.

MuseumOfCurry · 11/10/2017 12:02

I find all this adult bed sharing really odd, especially snuggling between both parents as a grown-up. To me, it's just bizarre.

I totally agree. I just don't have an intimate relationship with my parents anymore.

WhooooAmI24601 · 11/10/2017 12:05

My Mum is 67 and I'm 36 and we shared a bed last year on a trip to visit friends in Paris.

I wouldn't expect teens to do it, but as you get older and your relationship with your Mum becomes more friend-based than parent-based it's not a weird thing at all. DS2 is 6 and is in our bed most nights given the chance; he just loves company. He goes to sleep fuss-free in his own bed but by 6am when I wake up he's there between us, snoring with his mouth open like DH. I quite like it and am in no rush to stop it happening.

Member984815 · 11/10/2017 13:51

I don't share my bed but if one of the kids can't sleep has a nightmare or is sick they come in for a few minutes. A few months ago my eldest who was 15 was in so much pain and felt so sick and hadn't slept for days came in and slept in our bed she hasn't slept in our bed since she was a toddler . They are never to old to need the comfort of a parent

Maryann1975 · 11/10/2017 14:00

I wouldn’t share out of choice With my mum. I’d sleep on a mat on the floor if I stayed at her house and there wasn’t a bed, or give up my bed and sleep on the sofa at my house. But if we were in a hotel and there was only one bed between us, I’d just get on with it and go to sleep, there’s no way I would pay for two separate rooms. Dd is nearly 12 and slept in with me one night a few weeks ago. Dh was away and she was feeling a bit emotionally fragile at bedtime, I was tired so said to get in my bed. Within a few minutes we were both fast asleep. If I’d sat on her bed with her, I’d probably have been there for an hour or so.

SistersOfPercy · 11/10/2017 14:11

DS occasionally nips out for a Maccies breakfast on a Sunday and brings me one in bed. I'll shuffle up and we'll sit and chat and eat breakfast. He's 25. It's nice to have a catch up.

Original poster
Blu99 · 11/10/2017 18:23

SistersOfPercy

Awww that’s sweet

OP posts:
PurpleGrapePip · 11/10/2017 20:36

I'd have no problem sharing a bed with my mum, last time was probably a year ago on a hen do.

DSD is 7 and sleeps in with me if her dad is away (very rarely, maybe 3 times in the past year). I love it.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 11/10/2017 20:43

About 15 years ago I had to share a bed with my MIL for a few nights due to a family emergency. Luckily it was one of those large continental doubles and she's a very fastidiously clean lady, but it was awful.

raspberrysuicide · 11/10/2017 20:48

My eldest daughter shared my bed with me up until she was about 12. If dh went away overnight she would always come in with me but stopped a couple of years ago
My youngest is 6 and would sleep in with me every night if she could. I don't mind really because it won't be long until she won't want to. I'm a single mum now btw but I'm worried that if my new boyfriend stays over she will try and come in which would be a bit inapropriate.

ChoudeBruxelles · 11/10/2017 20:54

DS (11) ended up in bed with me last night as he had a nightmare.

kaytee87 · 11/10/2017 21:10

I wouldn't share a bed with my mum as an adult as a child I did though and my son regularly does with me.

CaurnieBred · 21/10/2017 20:17

I would NEVER share a bed with my MIL! That is so not the same a sharing with my own mum!

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