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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that you’re never too old to share a bed with your mum?

94 replies

Blu99 · 10/10/2017 17:59

Me and my sister were talking about this last night. Her DC are 10 and 5 and she loves sharing a bed with them. She thinks they’ll never be too old. I share a bed with my 18 month old until we move into our new house and she gets her own bedroom. I love it but I equally can’t wait for her to have her space and me mine. She’ll always be my baby but I can’t imagine her coming to visit me when she’s 30 and us sharing a bed.

Are you ever too old to share a bed with your mum?

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 10/10/2017 18:28

I’m 42 and would still happily share a bed with my mum if circumstances dictated I had to.
It wouldn’t be my first choice but it wouldn’t bother me either.

Margomyhero · 10/10/2017 18:36

DS used to still get in bed with me (and even DH, his stepfather) until the age of 9 or 10.

He is a grown up teen now and away at Uni. I think if the need arose he might share a bed with me now? ha ha. I'll ask him.

I couldn't bare to share with my DM though. In fact only DH or DS are worthy of sharing my nocturnal space. I find it a little uncomfortable sharing a hotel room with friends - I'm very private. Grin

MerlinsLeftButtock · 10/10/2017 18:51

I sometimes share a bed with my mum. I’m 32. Depends what’s happening, but if I’m visiting her, I wouldn’t hesitate to sleep in her bed if needs be. Her bed is lovely and comfortable 😂 My son is six and often creeps in with me and his dad in the middle of the night. Though, I am quite pregnant at the moment so have had to tell him there isn’t much room the last few times so have gotten into his bed with him until he goes back to sleep. Some people get a bit weird about bed sharing, it’s just sleeping ....

megletthesecond · 10/10/2017 18:58

I would never share a bed with my mum. I didn't do it that often as a kid.

My 9yr old still comes into my bed 3/4 nights a week. But after 6yrs of sleep hell I'm resigned to it. She's as quiet and still as a mouse once she's there.

Crispsheets · 10/10/2017 18:59

I struggle sleeping with my partner sometimes. I love my own space in bed. Certainly couldn't share with another adult

user1487175389 · 10/10/2017 18:59

Surely it's normal to want your own space as you grow up?

Love51 · 10/10/2017 19:03

I did once when I was late 20s and she was 50s. It wasn't habit forming but I would do it again if circumstances dictated.

NerrSnerr · 10/10/2017 19:03

I remember being a teenager and sharing a bed with my mum on holiday and I hated it. No way would I share a bed with her now.

Theresamayscough · 10/10/2017 19:04

Routinely no I think kids need their own bed and no habitually sharing a bed with older kids is a bit suffocating.

However my 18 year old dd got inti my bed last month as she had a heavy cold and felt ill. She also brought the dog. Wink

Sleepysausage · 10/10/2017 19:06

I share a bed with my mum if we stay at my brother's house. The babies get their own rooms as the sleep better that way and we share. I'm 37 and she's 61. We have a good relationship and it's never crossed my mind that this would be weird.

Brittbugs80 · 10/10/2017 19:07

I shared a bed with my sister two years ago and we are in our 30s and 40s when we stayed over at my Dad's. I'm sharing a bed with my Stepmom in three weeks when we go away, I'm 36 she is 65.

I don't see a problem. DS is 9 and gets on with me when DH is away.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 10/10/2017 19:09

My mum snores and tries to cuddle up in her sleep. I need quiet and a lot of space to sleep well. So, for the sake of family harmony, always separate rooms.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 10/10/2017 19:10

I've shared with my mum a couple of times in hotels in adulthood.

The only time I remember in childhood was when I was about 10. It wasn't long after my brother went to uni, and it was the first time my dad had worked away overnight since then. She found it odd being the only adult with just one young child for company at the end of a very long run of child raising. Sadly within a year she had to get used to it very abruptly when my dad died meaning it was just the two of us most of the time.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 10/10/2017 19:10

I would share a bed with my mum if needed, eg guests staying due to an emergency and not enough beds, but wouldn't plan to. I crept into her bed every night until I was about 10, so maybe I got it out of my system then! I wouldn't voluntarily share with anyone other than my cat though, not even my own DD. Fortunately she's never wanted to.

LifeofClimb · 10/10/2017 19:11

I shared a bed with my mum just a few years ago on holiday. Usually would share bedroom but not bed, but don't mind really! The only thing that puts me is the snoring and duvet stealing Grin

I share a tent with my dad when we trek.

Nothing weird about sharing a bed at all, I would with a friend, too.

JennyBlueWren · 10/10/2017 19:12

I've shared a bed with my mum when travelling abroad and we'd muddled up our booking. Ended up sleeping on the balcony though as she snored!

LifeofClimb · 10/10/2017 19:12

Some of my fondest memories as a teen were cuddled up in bed with my gran, talking about everything and anything.

Bluelonerose · 10/10/2017 19:12

My 7 year old will hop in for a cuddle but teens no way. Had to share a bed with 7 year old when he was 5 and we were on hol. Never again I will pay more for the extra bed.
Dm suffers terrible insomnia so doesn't "sleep in bed" wouldn't share with her anyway as she would insist on bringing the dog too. Tbh if the choice was share wiry me or the dog I'm pretty certain she wouldn't pick me either Grin

Poorlybabe4 · 10/10/2017 19:12

I would and have with my mil. But not my own mother

Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 · 10/10/2017 19:14

No problem with it at all! Shared a bed with mum in Stockholm a few years back to save costs. Shared beds with either grandmother well into my teens, it was great - we used to lie awake in the dark and talk Smile. The only issue I have with 6 year old DTDs in our bed was I wished the bed was bigger!

RaininSummer · 10/10/2017 19:16

I shared a single bed with my daughter a couple of years ago. I was slumming it in her student dive. Wasn't a comfortable night as options were squashed against wall or clinging onto the mattress to avoid falling out. Was kind of nice though.

OvO · 10/10/2017 19:17

I'd share with my mum!

My youngest DS is 10 next month and shows no signs of moving out of my bed! As long as all DC have their own beds to go to if they want then I don't think it's a problem.

I don't like sleeping in a room alone so I don't think it's odd for some children to like co-sleeping until fairly old.

mrsRosaPimento · 10/10/2017 19:18

I am. She's a horrible woman who gave birth to me. Only connection and was never a mum to me!

Roomba · 10/10/2017 19:18

Really? I can think of nothing worse! Well, okay I can think of a lot worse, but I would hate to have to share a bed with my mum and so would she. I had to share with my sister at a wedding last year, due to room bookings. We both gave up after an hour of huffing and I moved onto the floor - and that wasn't much better.

I remember being about 9 or 10 and my Dad was away with work. My mum said did I want to stay in her bed that week. I said yes, because I wanted to please her, but I didn't enjoy it at all!

My kids are almost 12 and 5. My 5yo still adores snuggling into bed with me, but my eldest DS didn't want to when I suggested it recently (his room smelled strongly of pain due to decorating, he slept on the sofa for a night in the end). I'm very close to and tactile with my kids but he just likes snuggling up by himself in his own bed. I feel the same and hate having to share with anyone that isn't my own child tbh. Maybe I'm just a cold fish?

Crumbs1 · 10/10/2017 19:21

I wouldn't be horrified at idea of sharing with a 30 year old child but I suspect they would be. Fine at mid 20s to come in for a chat and hug in the morning but not much room for three adults. I did share for a few weeks when one of them aged 21 who had been very ill and was beginning to recover but still not right.
I would definitely not share with my 92 year old mother - under any circumstances.

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