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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To undermine school on this?

98 replies

Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 17:01

DC1 goes to a school 5 and a half miles away following bullying. No other option.
At first buses were amazing but then they removed lots of services leaving us stranded. As a result dd now has to catch two buses. Not a huge issue during morning or daytime.

She has one particular teacher who keeps the whole class behind every single lesson for talking. I have checked and my DC1 is not one of the talkers.

Ten minutes in to class today he gave some pupils a detention because of talkers. He said my dc and the others could go but then ended up keeping everyone back anyway. The others still have detention.

The last time he did this dc1 who has sen and in schools own words is classed as vulnerable did not get home until 6.45pm.

Not only did she hit rush hour which meant buses where going past her full by the time they got to her but she then missed the two possible connecting buses and had a fifty minute wait alone at a bus stop to get home.

She's still currently waiting today at a bus stop near school to get on a bus so the same will happen today.
She's also managed to run down her battery on her phone which I'm annoyed at her about so I now have a child with Sen out there with it getting dark and no phone.

Not only that but I'm sick of the meltdowns when she gets home really late and peed off.

I've asked already for her to be let out on time.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:27

I don't think she needs to go to those lengths....

Read all the updates and can't see evidence that you have contacted the head of department ...

4pm is v late to finish. Is it a private school?

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 18:36

I said I had raised it with school. Specifically the teacher just before the summer holidays with another reminder this term that it's an issue and raised with senco who is also the deputy head.
Dd then mentioned it verbally to them on at least two occasions.

It's a free school. Many have a longer day.

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:41

Free schools often also play fast and loose with normal school rules!

You really really really need to take it up with the subject leader. I am on your side but I do keep saying this and you keep ignoring it!

The teacher's inadequate (don't say that!0 teaching needs addressing. It's not just an issue for your own DC. It's unfair on lots of them.

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 18:41

We don't have head of departments as such. Due to the size of the school there isn't a year head and many subject areas only have one teacher. Only the core subjects have more than one really.

They have a form teacher who dd hasn't seen in weeks due to personal issues. No planners or homework books or the like.

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:42

And was it that same class teacher who said your DD was never the issue??

Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:43

It all sounds a bit shambolic!

Your only choice then is the head...

CheesecakeAddict · 10/10/2017 18:53

Piggy, actually schools have been able to issue same day detentions with no notice since 2012. Our school does it and parents have to sign a contract when they apply saying they will follow that.

However, I don't agree with whole class punishments and I personally see it as a teacher who can't control a classroom. I also wouldn't just believe DC about not talking, I have a student who gets detention once a week and swears blind he was quiet when he literally sits next to my desk and I see and hear him. I would speak to the teacher first and foremost. And if things don't improve that teacher will have a line manager even if they don't Have a head of department.

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 18:53

Sorry not ignoring you intentionally. I cross posted lots of people. I've just seen the post I didn't answer.

Yes I spoke to the teacher before the holidays, said I was concerned dd was misbehaving and explained why. Told it was not dd, dd was brilliant in class and her and friend were never any bother but the class were challenging but it should get better this school year as they would be split.
They are giving the kids misbehaving detention in addition to holding the class back till everyone has stopped talking.

OP posts:
Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 18:55

Cheese I did speak to the teacher and check dd wasn't being a pain. Having some experience of working with kids I'm not naive enough to just take their word.

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:56

I know that cheese but it doesn't sound like it is policy. I did say 'most schools don't' earlier. I am behaviour lead at my school...

Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:57

OP I'd be so annoyed if I were you. It is totally totally unacceptable to punish a child repeatedly for being good!

I am actually surprised she hasn't started being naughty! she might as well!

Billben · 10/10/2017 19:16

Checked with her? That's reliable!

andrewofgg

Where did OP say that she checked it with her daughter only? Nowhere. You just assumed and in the process managed to make an ass out of yourself 😂

bigbluebus · 10/10/2017 19:19

Are you sure this is the right school for your DD? It sounds horrendous to me.

My DS went to a school 5 miles from home. As far as I'm aware there were no whole class detentions as 70% of pupils travelled on school buses. There were occasions when my DS received a detention - he was no angel but also had a diagnosis of ASD. The school were aware of the difficulties that DS missing the school bus would cause for me so would consult with me in advance so that they were sure I was able to collect him from school after the detention - so the day would be changed to suit me (who after all hadn't actually done anything wrong!)

I think you need to address the issue of your vulnerable DD being left alone for such long periods at bus stops in the dark and if the school fail to understand and come to an arrangement then you need to be moving her to another school.

KittyVonCatsington · 10/10/2017 19:29

Ah. It's a free school. Not surprised.

Yes, tiggytape'snadvice is spot on. Hope you get a solution!

VelvetSpoon · 10/10/2017 19:36

Whole class punishment are favoured by lazy or inept teachers (there were a lot at my school - my parents made it clear I would not be collectively punished after school, and if there was an issue with my behaviour I'd do a detention at lunch. No more was ever said about it, of course!)

In Ops position I'd insist DC is allowed to leave on time every day. Taking 2 hours to get home just isn't acceptable.

CheesecakeAddict · 10/10/2017 19:47

In that case OP, I'd definitely escalate it to the line manager. That teacher is obviously struggling with that class and not getting the support they need and since that is at a detriment to your DD, they need to address it.

When is it parents' evening?

Andrewofgg · 10/10/2017 21:13

Billben I was wrong (and have said so) about the OP having only checked with her DD. But I stand by my other point: a child whose parents get her let off collective punishments will be resented, certainly teased, probably bullied (and there's a fine and fluid line between teasing and bullying) by other children. Children are not fair.

echt · 10/10/2017 21:38

This need not be about the parent getting their kid off:

The teacher says the OP's child has not misbehaved, so should be letting all the obedient ones out, not keeping them back. Agree that whole class detentions are a sign of losing it or being lazy. Either way, the teacher needs to manage, or be helped to manage the situation better.

Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 21:44

Andrew I'd like to know your evidence for this assertion.

besides which, they'll be hero of the hour if an end is made to this ridiculous practice of the teacher!

Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 21:46

Actually, most kids are essentially fair. and have a well developed sense of injustice... they will probably equally think it is stupid to keep everyone in.

JonSnowsWife · 10/10/2017 22:23

Watching with interest as DD got given lunchtime detention yesterday and then after school detention today for the same thing.

I dont know if I'm being unreasonable or not myself OP so Flowers ! (we have the same issue - re her being miles out and buses - thankfully I'd given her extra money or she'd have been stranded!).

Happy for her to do lunchtime detention if needed but it's not safe around here. Thankfully she had the wherewithal to text me and let me know!

JonSnowsWife · 10/10/2017 22:25

DDs school also does whole class detentions. I dont agree with it either.

I understand the peer pressure argument of it but if that was going to make the culprits stop and respect their fellow classmates they wouldn't be doing it in the first place!

GeekLove · 10/10/2017 22:27

Whole class detentions arw a shower of shit. I regret not fussing up for things I didn't do just to undermine the whole concept.

Thirtyrock39 · 10/10/2017 22:27

Whole class pynishmenrs are really ineffective as the good kids feel resentful and the naughty kids smug cos they get same treatment as the good kids. It's one of the first things we were taught on pgce training so I would def speak to school
And I'm not one to moan at schools unless they're def out of order

JonSnowsWife · 10/10/2017 22:31

Me neither thirtyrock.