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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To undermine school on this?

98 replies

Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 17:01

DC1 goes to a school 5 and a half miles away following bullying. No other option.
At first buses were amazing but then they removed lots of services leaving us stranded. As a result dd now has to catch two buses. Not a huge issue during morning or daytime.

She has one particular teacher who keeps the whole class behind every single lesson for talking. I have checked and my DC1 is not one of the talkers.

Ten minutes in to class today he gave some pupils a detention because of talkers. He said my dc and the others could go but then ended up keeping everyone back anyway. The others still have detention.

The last time he did this dc1 who has sen and in schools own words is classed as vulnerable did not get home until 6.45pm.

Not only did she hit rush hour which meant buses where going past her full by the time they got to her but she then missed the two possible connecting buses and had a fifty minute wait alone at a bus stop to get home.

She's still currently waiting today at a bus stop near school to get on a bus so the same will happen today.
She's also managed to run down her battery on her phone which I'm annoyed at her about so I now have a child with Sen out there with it getting dark and no phone.

Not only that but I'm sick of the meltdowns when she gets home really late and peed off.

I've asked already for her to be let out on time.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 10/10/2017 17:41

OK OP - but my second post still stands. She will be the loser big-time.

ivykaty44 · 10/10/2017 17:41

Put it in writing
Ask for detentions to have at least one days notice so alternative transportation could be arranged
Explain thAt you it is a safeguarding issue

Copy in the head of year patrol care and teacher doing this

Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 17:42

Who was ' the school' on that occasion?

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 17:43

No. As punishment in a you have wasted my time so I'm going to waste yours.

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 17:43

Sorry, my post got separated from your update. Who in ;the school' told you it was never your daughter?

If it was the actual teacher, did you not challenge them at the time about the validity of the detention?

tiggytape · 10/10/2017 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldmandra · 10/10/2017 17:45

She doesn't have to have a statement or EHC Plan to qualify as vulnerable due to her SEN and entitled to SEN transport.

I'm not guaranteeing you will get it but, if you can get the school and someone like the community paediatrician to put in writing that she is too vulnerable to travel alone on the public bus service, they may accept her for SEN transport.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 10/10/2017 17:45

Not unreasonable in the slightest. Raise hell.

Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 17:45

ps re your title . You aren't 'undermining the school' - don't worry. this is a particular set of circumstances. You would be undermining them if DD had been talking and you had refused 'permission' for them to sanction her in line with their policies.

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 17:46

I don't know what the answer is then Andrew. :(

Do I risk her being bullied or do I leave a vulnerable sen child out alone (it will be dark in a few weeks.) where she is at risk anyway.

She's not home yet...

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 17:48

She won't be bullied. Andrew is being a bit silly.

essentially, the teacher needs to stop ding this for everyone. your DD's case may help the whole class.

As a PP ahs pointed out, the strategy isn't even working!!

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 17:49

Xposting with lots sorry!

Thanks Gold will look into it. She has a diagnoses and is on school action plus etc. Her old school removed her iep as they 'didn't like them'

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 10/10/2017 17:50

She won't be exempt from punishment for misbehaving. What should happen is that the teacher should stop doing ad-hoc unregistered whole class after school detentions.

Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 17:50

I think you only get SEN transport if it's on an ECHP.

Don't go to HOY. You need the subject leader. Urgently.

sonlypuppyfat · 10/10/2017 17:52

I would be raging, the SEN bit should not come into it, no child should be made that late by a twat of a teacher who can't control his class

Goldmandra · 10/10/2017 17:52

I think you only get SEN transport if it's on an ECHP.

Generally that is the case but there are children who have SEN, don't have an EHCP or statement and still qualify for SEN transport.

Doggymum88 · 10/10/2017 17:53

I would raise it for sure. Not only is it harming your daughter but it is actively encouraging bullying!

The teacher is sending the message that the few are to blame and that leads to resentment from the rest of the class. Yes they are in the wrong but it isnt right for the teacher to want to alienate them from the rest of their peers.

Nor would it be right if the OPs daughter were to start getting grief from the pupils if she was singled out and allowed to leave on time.

tiggytape · 10/10/2017 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mistressiggi · 10/10/2017 18:11

So is this once a week, or does she have this teacher regularly? As it won't affect her every day then. I have lots of students who for whatever reason (I don't often know) have a note from HOY asking for them to leave 5 mins early. If your dd had that she would be on route to the bus and avoid being seen to have "escaped" the kept-back.

I am amazed that no other teacher has questions the 10-20 mins after school however. A few minutes after the bell (this could be to tidy up a room they've messed up, for example) seems perfectly acceptable but any longer should be an organised detention. It does sound like the teacher is floundering and could use support with this class. But you need to insist your dd leaves on time.

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 18:12

Apparently there are two teachers who do this. One has started letting dd go when she can get his attention.

The other says they are all a team as a class and therefore should take it as team.

OP posts:
Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 18:14

Between the two teachers it can be three days a week.

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:15

Why have you not already raised this OP??

Original poster
Detentioncontent · 10/10/2017 18:22

I've already said I have Piggy

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 10/10/2017 18:24

You didn't say who with...

BackInTheRoom · 10/10/2017 18:25

I'd be bloody livid OP! If the teacher wants to give a detention, he has to give notice! He sounds childish to me! If he does it again, ring one of the governors and tell them to go and find your daughter on the bus route somewhere and threaten them with OFSTED or something! 😡

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