To ask you for your essential jail item?

[TheClaws]

I’m just interested in what everyone would choose. I had a weird dream about it - and I had a headache at the time, so I very boringly chose Co-Codamol. Imagine how much better I could have done!

So, you’re in jail and can ask the MN collective for just one item. What would it be?

Guidelines are:

1. It needs to fit inside a normal jail cell - so no full-size cars or helicopters
2. No drugs or other mind-altering substances
3. No weapons
4. No conjugal visits allowed, of course
5. No keys.

There's an obvious one missing going by some of the posts:

A string of pearls for the clutching of.

🤣

Jesus. What is it with people at the moment?

"PLEASE READ EVERY THREAD ON MN BEFORE POSTING IN CASE YOU OFFEND SOMEONE."

Do fuck Off.

An iPhone; I could read books, call/message people, google things, Netflix etc

My straighteners omg my straighteners

Lots and lots of wet wipes.

As an ex screw the moment I walked in the showers I'd get a beating!

My mobile phone (probably not allowed but in a fantasy world). Theres music on it, videos (providing i have signal for data), texts, social media, mn etc etc. Agree some people need to lighten up.

bumdishcloths, exactly!

'A quick glance at the trending threads today also has one entitled "Mum could be getting sent to prison" and the awful situation this family find themselves in.'

It's just a threatening letter sent to someone, not a prosecution. It doesn't mean nobody is allowed to talk about prison!

Ear plugs definitely!

Can I take my e ciggie? Or is that classed as a banned substance? I need my nicotine!! Failing that I’ll have a kindle with a shit tonne of books so I can work my way through the classics

No nicotine, Donkey, but Kindle away! I think the Kindle or iPad is winning at the minute (before we’re deleted, anyway)

Some kind of all-in-one eye mask and ear plug contraption.

My makeup bag definitely!

Also, people can't choose to be offended by this thread over someone going to prison. They clearly have committed a crime if they're going there

Not necessarily. They might be on remand.

I don't think it's unreasonable to point out that a long running thread with nearly 1000 posts on this exact topic is running for real.

It's only light hearted and 'pearl clutching' to raise an issue with this if the reality of it has never been your experience.

I fucking hate that about MN now. You know what's worse than things not being lighthearted anymore? The people who show up and accuse everyone, whether they have a point or not, or 'pearl clutching' or ruining the lightheartedness. Several people on this thread work within the prison system and have said to them it isn't funny. People who actually know what it's like. Why should they not have the right to say so?

KissesAX people commit crimes for many reasons, and the people who suffer aren't just the ones sent away. Must be nice to see everything in such black and white terms.

Would need cat, Kindle and cross stitch with me for sanity.

Fenella years back a member of my immediate family faced the very real prospect of a life sentence. This is exactly the type of conversation we had at the table in the weeks leading up to his trial; a nice bit of dark humour. Luckily he was not guilty so we never had to find out.

We have also had prison workers and people who have been in prison accepting the thread as it is and suggesting what they would take as well.

Socks.
Yes, yes, boring I know. But socks. Lots and lots of socks.

Bloody hell if you don't like the thread skip by it and read something else. Plenty of threads the theme I may not agree with or find funny etc but I just move on to the next one. We all know prisons aren't a nice place but it just a light hearted thread.

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for reporting and for sharing your points of view, we can completely see both sides here and we welcome all opinions. We think on balance that this thread isn't a TAAT or intended to offend and as it doesn't break TGs we'll leave it to stand for now.

Please do continue to report anything that concerns you and we will take a look.

Laptop

I fucking hate that about MN now. You know what's worse than things not being lighthearted anymore? The people who show up and accuse everyone, whether they have a point or not, or 'pearl clutching' or ruining the lightheartedness.

You know what i hate? People with nothing better to do than desperately look for the opportunities to get offended, invariably on someone else's behalf. Anyone who genuinely finds this thread distressing should come off the internet, bin their tv and lock themselves in a darkened room. What next? Someone starts a thread asking "what's on your bucket list" only to be piled on by the righteously indignant proclaiming how insensitive it is to relatives of the terminally ill?

Tweezers and an epistick. I’d have a full face of hair within a week otherwise!

I can only assume people whining about this thread have never watched Orange is the New Black? Fucks sake.