Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask you for your essential jail item?

109 replies

TheClaws · 10/10/2017 07:11

I’m just interested in what everyone would choose. I had a weird dream about it - and I had a headache at the time, so I very boringly chose Co-Codamol. Imagine how much better I could have done!

So, you’re in jail and can ask the MN collective for just one item. What would it be?

Guidelines are:

  1. It needs to fit inside a normal jail cell - so no full-size cars or helicopters Smile
  2. No drugs or other mind-altering substances
  3. No weapons
  4. No conjugal visits allowed, of course
  5. No keys.
OP posts:
GinIsIn · 10/10/2017 08:33

Sorry - XP in the time it took me to finish my post. (thanks DS!)

ImageQueen · 10/10/2017 08:34

Co codamol is drugs (highly sought after in prison as it is an opioid)
All medicines are drugs but not all drugs are medicines.
By your own rules you have to pick something else OP. 😉

FannyWisdom · 10/10/2017 08:35

Macro card.
I saw a telly program and noodles are the currency in prison.
So I'd wholesale maggi ramen and become Bea Smith in a week.

LaGuardiaNewark · 10/10/2017 08:49

NC to comment on here but people need to lighten up. I don't know anyone on the inside that would be offended by this. We used to talk about this, what we would have if we could have anything, what the first thing we would eat/do on the out.

People just want to be mortally offended for other people instead of letting us speak for ourselves. Yes it is fucking awful, yes there are fights, drugs etc. But that doesn't mean we didn't have conversations in there, we're people too ffs.

Don't worry about offending people OP. Some people look to be offended and would have been offended about anything you wrote.

worridmum · 10/10/2017 08:51

Prisons are meant to be awful they are a punishment after all and i am sure a womans prison is not worse then male ones which currently are far more over crowded...

GinIsIn · 10/10/2017 09:39

Prisons are meant to be awful they are a punishment after all - what an incredibly naive viewpoint. Prisons are not meant to be just a punishment - prison should be a rehabilitation. The fact we have such a high rate of repeat offenders is proof that prison as punishment simply doesn't work. Prison should be about equipping offenders with the tools, skills and mental facilities to lead a different kind of life on release, not about locking them in a box for a fixed time then just dumping them back out again.

speakout · 10/10/2017 09:41

People don't go to prison to be punished.

Loss of freedom is the punishment.

FortunatelyUnfortunately · 10/10/2017 09:43

An iPhone.

PS - I see the professionally offended have made it onto this thread too. They are out in force today. That's three threads already today whereby offence has been taken at either fun or a turn of phrase. Chillax people.

speakout · 10/10/2017 09:43

Having had dealings with a woman's prison I have seen some life changing things. The sadness, misery and violence I saw made a huge impact, and I struggle to see the funny side.
Many women in prison are squabbling over the basics of tea bags, shampoo etc. No doors on toilets, not even able to bath or shower in private. Drug use inside prison is rife.
The poor lost souls who are inside are almost all victims themselves.

I don't see the funny side.

FortunatelyUnfortunately · 10/10/2017 09:48

There's not much fun in having cancer, Speakout, but hey I manage to laugh at it.

Seriously, this isn't about taking the piss out of women's prisons. It is was a lighthearted thread inspired by a dream.

I'm guessing you won't be watching the remake of Porridge, then?

Cakebaby123 · 10/10/2017 09:50

Wish the MN army would stop assuming that every poster has read every post and thread on this thing before posting their own. ConfusedHmm

Don't like a post or thread? Move along.

Its a post made light heartedly! Get over yourselves.

Anyway.. I'd take a massive notebook with an iPad with Netflix on hidden inside

19lottie82 · 10/10/2017 09:50

Ear plugs! I need to total silence to sleep.

speakout · 10/10/2017 10:16

This is a very insensitive thread.

A quick glance at the trending threads today also has one entitled "Mum could be getting sent to prison" and the awful situation this family find themselves in.

You don't need to read every thread, just a quick glance will show how some people ( and not just the prisoners themselves) are deeply affected by this serious issue.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 10/10/2017 10:22

These days, given that lots of the prisons are becoming smoke free, you'd do pretty well to take a few ounces of baccy and some Rizla.

I've worked in men's prisons for many years. If I was actually going in, I'd take antibacterial spray and cleaning stuff because every one I've ever been in has been filthy and I'd never sleep until I'd bleached the cell.

Obviously, no one can take anything in. So pretty pointless thread.

Fwiw if I was going to a desert island, I'd take my guitar. If I was going to a dessert island, I'd take my biggest stretchy maternity trousers......

Original poster
TheClaws · 10/10/2017 10:24

speakout I don’t look at the trending threads. I’ve reported the thread. Can you please leave off? This was not intentional.

OP posts:
FortunatelyUnfortunately · 10/10/2017 10:35

It is not the OP's fault that a serious topic on this subject (which was started after this one) is in trending. It really isn't, surely you see that. It is totally unreasonable to accuse her of starting an insensitive thread on that basis.

If it was in response to that thread, then yes. The fact of the matter that this one was started first and made it very clear it was a lighthearted thread.

I have every sympathy for the family in the thread you refer to, but you must remember that this is a huge forum. I don't know what the programming of the site is that makes threads trend, but that is the fault here.

LunchBoxPolice · 10/10/2017 10:45

Wunderbrow.

speakout · 10/10/2017 10:49

So it's the fault of the people who may be upset or offended.

Not the fault of the OP for being crass?

FortunatelyUnfortunately · 10/10/2017 10:56

If you are someone who might be upset or offended by the (very obviously lighthearted) topic then hide it.

Just because YOU see the OP as crass doesn't mean everyone does.

She could have started a thread about crazy ways to cover a bald head (e.g. put pants on your head or something silly). Just because I've no hair it doesn't mean that I get my knickers in a twist over it. I would see that she's not set out to cause offence and ignore it, even if I'd put a subsequent, trending post on the forum about how to cope with hair loss.

Original poster
TheClaws · 10/10/2017 11:01

Thank you Fortunately. I reckon I can only be crass if I intend to be.

OP posts:
Cakebaby123 · 10/10/2017 11:03

speak its definitely the fault of the easily offended. NOT the fault of the lighthearted poster. You're an adult, I'm sure you're more than capable of pressing the hide button if you see something you might not appreciate.

Cakebaby123 · 10/10/2017 11:03

speak its definitely the fault of the easily offended. NOT the fault of the lighthearted poster. You're an adult, I'm sure you're more than capable of pressing the hide button if you see something you might not appreciate.

Cakebaby123 · 10/10/2017 11:03

speak its definitely the fault of the easily offended. NOT the fault of the lighthearted poster. You're an adult, I'm sure you're more than capable of pressing the hide button if you see something you might not appreciate.

DJBaggySmalls · 10/10/2017 11:06

A skeleton key...Grin
(can laugh about this, family are jailbirds)

Floellabumbags · 10/10/2017 11:08

Make up. I'm very shallow.