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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBu to ask for help choosing a gift for Mum

58 replies

PossiblyPFB · 09/10/2017 23:20

It’s my mothers 70th quite soon. She’s terribly hard to buy for, and most if not all of the gifts I can recall giving her she’s either returned, criticised or re-gifted to ‘someone more worthy’ like a local nursing home, which is a bit upsetting as a lot of thought and money has gone into them. She lives abroad, where I grew up. While I’d love to get away with sending a very expensive gift of flowers, I know she’d hate that, as last year I did that as she is SO hard to buy for —and so did everyone else- she complained that her home looked like a funeral home with all the flowers and she was upset no one ‘made an effort’. She has no hobbies except apparently watching Fox News, browsing the internet and reading dubious right wing webpages she can’t quite remember following but which now mean a lot to her.. Help!! What do I buy her for her 70th which won’t be thrown in my face?

OP posts:
AdaColeman · 10/10/2017 18:51

Well you've answered your own question! Give her back her own charm bracelet!

She is playing games with you, and will try to make sure that you are unable to win. The only thing to do with people like that is to play their game at a much higher level, so returning her bracelet would "win" the game.

Or stop playing the game.

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 10/10/2017 19:00

Something like this
I've been through this, it's not about choosing the right gift
You know that

Goldenhedgehogs · 10/10/2017 19:21

Remember when your mum is the bitch about whatever gift you choose for her that is your gift to her. She must get pleasure from being mean so you have given her the kindness of allowing her to do that. So don't stress about the gift Smile

MrsNai · 10/10/2017 19:49

Membership of the Democratic party?

Or seriously, an alternative gift as then you can support a great cause www.goodgifts.org

AtrociousCircumstance · 11/10/2017 00:08

Amazing, goldenhedgehogs Grin

The gift of letting her slag you off OP, via a present! Just what she's always wanted!

Ploppie4 · 11/10/2017 13:03

Blimey. Charm bracelets are tat at the best of times but that takes the buiscuit.

Can you add two things to it which are about you. Then pass it back!

Or give her a new tatty charm bracelet with all things linked to you

PossiblyPFB · 11/10/2017 22:07

I took a deep breath and emailed to asked her what she wanted - she waxed lyrical about this cooking instrument thing that’s all over Pinterest and said she was going to send me the link. And actually thanked me for being thoughtful and asking what she wanted. 2 emails later and apparently Dad is giving her that ‘as it’s expensive’ & now I have to wait till she chooses it & then get her some accessories for it. Hmm

OP posts:
AdaColeman · 11/10/2017 22:37

Your mistake was playing the game, you set yourself up to fail and she was certain to win, because she was in control.

You handed that round to her on a plate.
Get her charm bracelet polished up and ready to pack.

Drink wine and eat chocolate yourself!

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