It’s my mothers 70th quite soon. She’s terribly hard to buy for, and most if not all of the gifts I can recall giving her she’s either returned, criticised or re-gifted to ‘someone more worthy’ like a local nursing home, which is a bit upsetting as a lot of thought and money has gone into them. She lives abroad, where I grew up. While I’d love to get away with sending a very expensive gift of flowers, I know she’d hate that, as last year I did that as she is SO hard to buy for —and so did everyone else- she complained that her home looked like a funeral home with all the flowers and she was upset no one ‘made an effort’. She has no hobbies except apparently watching Fox News, browsing the internet and reading dubious right wing webpages she can’t quite remember following but which now mean a lot to her.. Help!! What do I buy her for her 70th which won’t be thrown in my face?
AIBU?
AIBu to ask for help choosing a gift for Mum
PossiblyPFB · 09/10/2017 23:20
saucyjack agreed, the matter of principle definitely a factor !! I can’t have anything that reminds her that I’ve chosen to live 4000+ miles away such as British goods, she lives in a hot climate so lovely scarves or gloves are out, she can’t go anywhere or do anything as is a carer for my DGM, she won’t like Jewelry as ‘she has nowhere to wear it’, she refuses to have a smartphone (I bought her an iPhone once, it got returned unopened....’they’re’ listening apparently 
..) they have downsized recently so can’t buy crap for their house, weight fluctuates so can’t buy her clothes, prefers thrift shop anyway, she lists a political book that my dad gave her once as one of the worst gifts ever..... DH has suggested we get her a life membership to the NRA or lunch at Trump Tower 
i’m still at a total loss!
God she's awkward I've reached an age where I'd rather have a bottle of organic EVOO rather than some stray scarf or earrings.
She's not letting you know what she might want/need and won't give you pointers so yes, she's playing games OP, sorry!
theothergirl yes. I think you’re right. I am desperately afraid of having a relationship with my own DC like I have with her. My DH says he will let me know if I ever start sounding like her! 
Obviously there are too many things to go into here!
She’s normally a pretty bad gift giver too. She couldn’t understand why I was not raving about her giving me a charm bracelet full of her old charms and a whole booklet with a detailed typed out description of what each of them meant as a thing in her life. (Little things like a telephone charm (we used to have to speak in the hall!), a tennis racquet, (She was a keen player, I do not play), ditto with a sewing charm etc) There were 2 which were of any relevance to me whatsoever and they were a stretch. It was wierd and so narcissistic to give me on my birthday and write this whole 8 page thing up about herself with 2 short paragraphs at the end thrown in as if she was trying to celebrate me the whole time. Apparently I am ungrateful for being upset and have no sense of nostalgia or sentimentality for her ‘special gift’. Very odd.
Thank you all 
Newsletters you might like
Yes giving it back has occurred to me 
it seriously hacks me off every time I run across it.
Other examples include secondhand clothing (and not usually nice although occasionally ok). Or styles I would not ever wear, unfashionable stuff. Or that are the wrong size. Then she fedexes it all I have to pay between £30-40 in VAT for the pleasure of $20 of ‘thrift shop finds’
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.