To find this irritating.... and a bit sad

[Thatsnotapotato]

Basically, have, after many years of inactivity (no excuse, just laziness) I had a rude awakening one day in summer when I couldn’t kick a football with DS for more than five minutes before I needed to sit down. So, I started exercising quite seriously and this weekend, having not been able to run a mile in June, I ran my first half marathon. I am not going to lie, I feel pretty chuffed so I posted a sweaty, ugly, chuffedy-smiling photo of me crossing the finish line on instagram. I mean, I took HOURS to do it, but fuck it, I did it.

I will preface my irritation by saying I would be classed as slightly overweight. Probably about half a stone. I have been for many years, but I am very happy as I am, and my desire to exercise has never been about losing weight. It’s been about getting fitter, and I can’t tell you how good I feel mentally and emotionally as my fitness improves.

But, every congratulatory comment people have made to me recently, has been something like ‘the weight must be dropping off!’ ‘You look wonderful!’ ‘WOW-Your bum has really lifted!’ ‘You look great.’ (This is not a brag, believe me, I do not look great!!)

But I find I’m feeling mildly irritated that it seems as though the only bloody thing anyone can think to say about someone exercising is to do with their appearance. Is that honestly why people think other people exercise? I mean, of course, lots of people ARE doing it to try and lose weight but lots and lots and lots of people are just doing it for the enjoyment/the headspace/the fitness.

I feel a bit sad that we’re so focused on appearance that that’s what people just assume this stuff is about.

AIBU to feel irritated?!

Well done OP. I think a half marathon is a massive achievement for anyone (perhaps professional marathon runners aside). But what's a really amazing achievement is someone (i.e. YOU!) who couldn't run a mile 3-4 months ago running a half marathon.

I think you're brilliant. Don't let other people's comments get to you, although I totally agree they're irritating and it is sad that people solely focus on looks.

I am torn.

YANBU to think you have done well to run a half marathon, I think you have too. I couldn't do it, nor would I want to to be honest. I enjoy long walks, and I do 4 or 5 a week, (3-4 miles at a time,) but long distance running is not something I would want to do.

I think it's amazing that you couldn't kick a football for more than 5 minutes, about 3 months before you ran 13 miles without stopping, as many people I know have trained for a year - solidly - practicing an hour a day, every day, and spending 4-6 hours a week in the gym before they can do that.

YABU however, to complain about people saying nice things about your picture on instagram. As a few people have said, they were obviously just trying to be nice.

I am getting a tiny bit of arrogance from your posts to be honest, 'hey I DO look great, and 'they COULD have said something about my amazing achievement!'

If you want that, maybe post a pic of yourself again (at the race) and say 'comments ONLY about my achievement please! Comments on my appearance not welcome.'

On what planet is a half marathon not an achievement???

I did one during the summer and I got nothing but 'omg that's amazing, well done' from everyone. It was my first but I ran it with friends who had done a few and we were all congratulating each other because, lets face it, it really was pretty amazing.

We'll done OP.

I think some people can't imagine doing exercise for any other reason than weight loss

tough one - on the one hand yes, you finishhed a half marathon and yes, people should just congratulate you. But on the other hand, many many MANY people do sports to lose weight, and if someone lost a big of weight that was noticibale (as you have) i would be also saying how wonderful they looked. I think you are overthinking things and being far too sensitive - just be hapy you finishind the marathon and you look great. Also - putting it on instgram - what did you expect?

Well bloody done you!!! I did a half marathon last weekend too (not my first ever, but the first in many years and after lots of life changes) and anyone who says it isn't an achievement can fuck right off! It's bloody hard work, especially when you're not an experienced or natural runner (which I most definitely am not).

I remember years ago I told a colleague my time (11 or 12 minute miles, for the record) and he started laughing and saying he could probably walk at that speed. I just said 'but did you? I was up at 7am running a race, where were you?' and he looked sheepish and admitted that he had actually never run in his life

They are commenting on what they see. You are coming from a place of knowledge and experience as well as what you see in the mirror/a photo.

They can only see one dimension/one part of it.

Not the training, the mental resilience, the time taken to prepare, run and recover. That's for you.

Well done OP!
I've done a few HM's and they are such an achievement, and all so different.
My partner is a more serious runner, think 1 hour 20min type of time, but i think it's a bigger achievement when i do it as it really does not come naturally to me i get 'the look' when i say that to him though

I think people comment on your body because that's what they can see. They can't see what is in your head. Any positive comments have to make you smile though - even if you don't run to improve your body, it has to be a welcome bonus i am sure!

I think it's amazing that you couldn't kick a football for more than 5 minutes, about 3 months before you ran 13 miles without stopping, as many people I know have trained for a year - solidly - practicing an hour a day, every day, and spending 4-6 hours a week in the gym before they can do that

You can train couch to half marathon in 3 months, without running daily if you are dedicated to the training. It might not post you a great time but it's perfectly possible.

tippz not sure I understand? Where did I say I looked good? (Unless I made a typo?) I thought I said I ‘don’t’ look great. And I said that because I DON’T. Not in terms that generally people refer to as ‘looking good’ anyway. I am chubby, spotty, wrinkled and grey haired. But on the training front, there is a 12-week half marathon training programme for beginners that has been fantastic in terms of telling me what to do and I could not have done any of it without guidance. I had no idea where to start.

And midnight, get your point, but just to confirm, I haven’t lost a single pound - there was another poster who had lost seven stone though so am guessing that’s who you mean

And just in response to some of the latter replies - whilst I appreciate people saying they are commenting on what they see in a photo, the point I’m getting at I suppose Is, in contrast, if it was a picture of someone receiving a graduation diploma would people be commenting on how good they look in a mortarboard, or rather commenting on the achievement? The fact it took a feck load of hard work to get there? My bugbear remains that the overwhelming sense is the link between exercising to ‘look good’, rather than it just being ‘good for you.’

Massive well done to you OP

I wish I could run but it actually triggers my anxiety rather than lessens it as it's supposed to do so I'm very envious

You should feel very proud of yourself!

I imagine most people are just trying to be supportive and tbh it says more about their hang ups than yours that they focus on your body and weight rather than your actual achievement.

Redpony I’m with you! It doesn’t come naturally at all either! Any more HM’s planned??? 1hr20 is beyond my wildest dreams.... that’s just about my 10k pace

It was one of the race for life plans I used tippz just in case you thought it couldn’t be done. Like pony says it won’t give you a good time as a beginner like me but it will enable you to literally get round, hence my very very very slow time of almost three hours

raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org/prepare-for-your-event/training-plans/half-marathon

flumpybear sorry, I thought I had replied to you but seems not! 5 minutes to 25 minutes is massive - well do!!! I found once I got into things I made progress quicker than I expected - I followed a 12-week plan which at the start seemed impossible but over summer with the long evenings It was straightforward to run when kids were in bed or before they got up and after the halfway point I couldn’t believe what I could do that I couldn’t do before - not just in terms of running, but just general day-to-day - I didn’t ache carrying things upstairs, or get out of breath doing the housework - the small thingslilw that have just had the most massive impact. I’m a bit worried that I’ll start to slack off and lose any gains I’ve made so I need to plan for another run, and if I can get a bit quicker, great, but right now I’m just happy I made it and you will be so amazed how quickly those changes come, just like you’ve already seen! That 25minutes will easily be an hour by Christmas!!

*well done, obviously!!

Right now I couldn't run for a bus even if my life depended on it. A half marathon after only a few months is bloody amazing. Well done you.

Yes @thatsnotapotato, I misread your post. It was early and I probably hadn't woken up properly. I can see now that you said you DON'T look great.

Sorry about that.

As for going from an unfit, overweight person, who cannot run around for 5 minutes without a rest, to doing a half marathon; within 3 months..... I wasn't being funny, it's just that everyone I know who has done half marathons (and whole marathons,) is already someone who is a bit of a fitness bod. They go to the gym, (3 or 4 times a week,) and they run 2-4 miles a day already, and even they have to train for around 9 months before they are half-marathon ready.

Not calling you a liar, it just seemed (to me,) a bit far fetched that someone could run a half marathon, when they were previously an overweight, unfit person who couldn't run for more than 5 minutes, without needing a long rest, just 3 months before.

Sorry if I offended you. I have just never known anyone do this before.

Yanbu. Talking to a personal trainer at the gym and he asked me what my "goals" were. I said I didn't have goals I just enjoy the endorphins exercise gives me. He looked st me like I have 3 heads.

Thanks - given me inspiration to finish work early and get to the gym - gonna try for 30 mins lol

My comment was meant to the person who said it wasn't a big achievement not op! Thought I made it clear by the follow up sorry!