To not want to spend fortunes on extended family at Christmas?

[KH369]

First of all, I'll get it out the way, I'll not a Christmas lover so maybe that sways my view. But DH family actually expect us to spend £25-£30 per child for nieces/nephews! I think that's absolutely ridiculous, in my opinion its the parents & grandparents that push he boat out not aunties and uncles. I ignored the rule last year which (according to DH) resulted in our children receiving no birthday presents through the year - yes this is true but whether of not its related to my lack of xmas expense I don't know.
AIBU to think I should save the big bucks for my own children's presents considering we don't always having extra savings to fall back on at Christmas, or do I need to just get a grip and spend whats expected of me so that my children will get birthday presents next year?

[xrayyankeezulu]

YADNBU if it's any consolation we've had an even more entitled set of grabby twats!!

We spent years buying for DH's cousins kids, the expected amount was £25 per child, fair dos. Expect one of the DM's who used to handily send the Argos item number for what she wanted us to get hers 😳!! This started when there was 3 of them & the amount stayed the same as the number of children increased. It got up there being 9 of them. The year the 9th (our DD) was born (our first child) we all got a message on group chat from Argos mum saying we shouldn't do presents any more & just buy for our own kids as it was getting too expensive - WTAF???

[xrayyankeezulu]

Sorry DD's 10th I mean

[Nuggysmummy]

Sounds really stressful, how were your children about not getting presents? If they aren't upset then I would do what you did last year (after all it's the parents not the children so unfair for them to miss out) and leave them to get on with it. If your children are upset and you want the family members to buy them presents you may just have to do it. How do they know how much you spent? Try getting presents in a 3 for 2 offer or something? Christmas is a flipping minefield

[Sawbridgeworthmum]

Spend what you can afford that's my motto. I have only 1 niece and I spend about £50 on her. She's my only niece. She also will come to panto my treat as part of the gift. Her mum can't afford to spend as much on mine I have 2 children.
Spend what is within your budget

[OnNaturesCourse]

People realise that Christmas is about being around loved ones and showing gratitude for what you have?

I like to spoil my family at christmas but within my own set budget, I'd be pretty pissed if expectations were set. Sounds pretty tit for tat to be honest.

[gubbygubby]

Guilty, I remember your thread about the paying friend not wanting the other at a special meal if they wouldn't pay their share. What happened in the end ?

[TheDuchessofDukeStreet]

Spend what you can manage, don't allow generosity to be dictated to you and if you don't have a great deal to be free with, keep it for yours.

[Whocansay]

I would assume you were no longer buying for each other's children. I questioned, look surprised and say that.

That amount on kids is daft.