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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to go on a weekend away even though dp isn't happy about it?

73 replies

ferrier · 08/10/2017 13:50

Background - it's to do with a hobby I do quite a lot of. Dp has hobbies which also take up some time. Neither of us have done weekends away without each other.
Have dc of secondary age. They largely entertain themselves though usually need ferrying around a bit.
I've been asked to do a long weekend - Friday - Sunday. Wibu to go even though dp is not happy about it?

OP posts:
tippz · 08/10/2017 13:52

Yes you would be fine to do it. YANBU.

No man would ever think 'am I being unreasonable by having a hobby weekend with my mates!'

Do it!

Wellysocksbox · 08/10/2017 13:52

Why is DP unhappy?

Therealslimshady1 · 08/10/2017 13:53

What is the reason for him to be unhappy about it?

Goosegrass · 08/10/2017 13:53

Of course you should go.

TanteRose · 08/10/2017 13:53

Of course you should go! What's your DH not happy about? Confused

BertrandRussell · 08/10/2017 13:53

Go.

What is he unhappy about?

FritzDonovan · 08/10/2017 13:55

If you would be happy for him to do the same, what's the problem?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 08/10/2017 13:55

If you would be happy for him to go, then YANBU. If you wouldn’t then YABU.

pinkyredrose · 08/10/2017 13:56

What's his problem exactly?

TheDodgyEnd · 08/10/2017 13:57

As pp’s said, why isn’t he happy? And would you be upset if he wanted to do a weekend away? What is the hobby?

Giggorata · 08/10/2017 13:58

Go. If you start this sort of nonsense, you'll never be able to do anything unless he is happy about it.

khajiit13 · 08/10/2017 13:59

Why is he unhappy about it? Based on your op YANBU

Original poster
ferrier · 08/10/2017 14:00

What he has said:
He has to do all the ferrying rather than share it.
Has to sort meals etc (though I'd be happy to leave them stuff or for them to get takeaway).
Unfair because he doesn't get a weekend away (not because I would stop him).
Not said in so many words but hinted at:
I'm going to have too much fun. Maybe want to do it more often.

OP posts:
TanteRose · 08/10/2017 14:01

FFS heaven forbid you have too much fun!

Goosegrass · 08/10/2017 14:02

Why shouldn't he sort his own kids meals and drive them about? He's their parent.

pinkyredrose · 08/10/2017 14:03

Oh ffs he has to feed his kid and give them a lift? And he can't fucking do that on his own?

Go on this wknd, in fact make it a regular thing and maybe he'll get ovet his incompetence and get on with things.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 08/10/2017 14:08

He is complaining about feeding and ferrying his children for 3 days? Who does it normally?

Auburn2001 · 08/10/2017 14:10

Yes go. He sounds a bit jealous.

upsidedown2017 · 08/10/2017 14:12

There is absolutely no reason for him to be unhappy. I'm very surprised neither of you have done it before. DH has done several times and would be happy for me to do so too.

IdaDown · 08/10/2017 14:14

Unless your hobby is swinging - and you're going without him. Then yes, I could see your DH being upset that you're going alone Grin

However, I can see you need a break from the 1950s

DiegoMadonna · 08/10/2017 14:15

They're secondary age, not babies and toddlers!

If it really is about "having too much fun and maybe wanting to do it more often", then he needs to have a word with himself.

ZippyCameBack · 08/10/2017 14:23

If you don't go because he doesn't want you to, then you might well find yourself with a growing list of things he doesn't want you to do.
If your weekend away doesn't cause financial hardship, just a bit of inconvenience, then I think it would be a huge mistake to let him think that he has a veto.

Roussette · 08/10/2017 14:24

Bloody hell.

Good job I'm not married to your DH. My kids are adult now but there has not been a year I've missed in not going away with my friends. He can too if he wants to, he knows that. Why on earth can't you? He sounds insanely jealous and mean. And he's moaning at looking after a couple of teens? Is that just your job then?

innagazing · 08/10/2017 14:25

Tell him to behave himself! Ask him how he thinks single fathers cope every other weekend? and look menacingly at your wedding ring as you do so

Original poster
ferrier · 08/10/2017 14:27

My hobby is not swinging - I might need him for that Grin
There will be men there and yes he is jealous on several counts (is my opinion) though he won't admit it.
I am a sahm so whilst he has always shared the ferrying and does cleaning etc (I can't fault him on that) he can't cook - yes I know he could learn ...

OP posts: