I was a smoker for 10+ yrs. absolutely loved the stuff. It made me happy, relaxed, chilled, creative or so I thought
The reality is that it was on my mind all the time. If I couldn't get any I panicked. It made me lose my ambition and drive. I made some BAD decisions because it would have meant giving up weed and I just couldn't do it. It was such an integral part of my life.
Over time, my mental health deteriorated. I'm not saying weed was solely to blame but I do believe it played a big part in my demise. I became paranoid, had intrusive thoughts, started having awful panic attacks, I was confused and lacked mental 'quickness'. I was lazy, lost my ambition, had no sex drive and felt that I just couldn't enjoy life without it.
I quit a year ago and I NEVER thought I would be able to let it go. I was hopelessly addicted to it.
It took one almighty panic attack which went on for 3 hours, complete with convulsions and what can only be described as an out of body experience which scared the shit out of me which gave me the motivation I needed to stop.
I used to be the biggest advocate of weed and longed for the day it would be legalised. However, I do think it can have a profound impact on mental health. Perhaps not for everyone but I think the risks are high.
When I started smoking it I had no mental health issues. At the end I had plenty. Sure, life experiences no doubt contributed but weed was a constant presence and I'm fairly certain it was at least partly responsible.
I'm really not sure whether it should be legalised or not. I think it has its place, medicinally. But to be freely available to the general public? No, I don't think I agree with that.