To hate being call mum (by strangers)

[Bunnyhipsdontliegrl]

I was just reading this

yomadac.com/2017/10/06/mother-plans-to-give-child-to-adoption-if-she-hears-bubba-or-mama-one-more-time/

And it reminded me of being called "mum" by the nurses/nursery workers and how much I hated it. I also hated the word Bubba and the general patronising/infantilising tone some people used to talk to me (why did I sign for it for a second time? )

AIBU to ask you what were the things that drove you crazy when you had a baby?

It is a lighthearted thread, I realise some people had real problems when trying to conceive/welcoming a baby and being called mum is not really one. I just want to know if I was the only cranky new mother out there

This is never-ending

Kind of don't want to kill the thread but have no idea why!

@ RainbowBriteRules - I also don't think I am equal to my child's teachers and HCPs- I do view them as superior and have no problem being treated that way.

Really? I most definitely don't see teachers or HCPs as superior to me. In certain situations, they may be more knowledgable but that doesn't make them superior. Equally, I don't see myself as superior when I am dealing with someone in my professional role, even though I am often more knowledgeable in the particular circumstances.

I experienced this recently when I was in hospital. 'Mum could you just step out just now while we do x y z' 'Mum would you mind waiting outside for 5 mins'

I'm 48 - my mum is 71 🙄
It sounded absolutely ridiculous. Got to be a bit of a standing joke between us

theymademe, yes most of the time (as I said I would not assume this if I had a child with complex needs / illnesses that I was well versed in).

Given that I do not have any experience or qualifications to teach in a school then I absolutely am not superior to a teacher - they are the experts. I do have a line, I regularly comment on uniform rule madness on threads but I think that's not what this thread is about.

Also I am not a doctor - I have a huge amount of respect for doctors. People used to have this in the past and I think it is so lacking today. If I am going to see a doctor for either me or my child it is so they can use their professional skills to diagnose / treat / advise me. I have a huge amount of respect for getting through 5 years of med school and then years and years of training after that. I don't care what they call me as long as they do their job.

Also have no problem with my DC seeing me viewing professionals with respect.

I don't mind it at all. In fact I like it but I think it's because I struggled for years with infertility and never thought I ever would be a mum. I can understand why some people might not like it though.

@RainbowBriteRules - there's a big difference between treating someone with respect and thinking they are superior to you.

I don't consider anyone to be superior to me. Equally I don't consider myself superior to anyone else. I treat people I meet with respect and expect the same back.

Being the expert in a particular situation simply makes you the person who is more likely to know how to correctly deal with the situation.

Well I can only speak for myself but as I have said, I do see them as superior but of course everyone has their own way of looking at things - that's just mine.

Never been a mum but thinking about it, being called mum by anyone other than your DC seems like it is stripping you of your individuality and just lumping mothers together into a mass.

I think I would tell them ' my name is........ it's not mum to anyone other than my DC '. If enough women did it they might stop it.

Fair enough @RainbowBriteRules.

I think over-deference to professionals can result in a god complex by some of them who then end up thinking they are omnipotent.

My father worked with a load of doctors. He always claimed the experience proved polytheism as they all believed themselves to be god

RainbowBriteRules
Well I can only speak for myself but as I have said, I do see them as superior but of course everyone has their own way of looking at things - that's just mine.

That's an interesting point of view. I have had experience of seeing consultants and doctors regularly from a young age and yes, I would treat them with respect like anyone else in a professional capacity, I have never thought of them as superior. They don't have two brains, yes they study and work hard to become a consultant but so do many others in several professions to attain senior level.

I agree with theymademejoin, some definitely develop a god complex, can't imagine what they are like in their home life. They are far from omnipotent and can and do make mistakes like any other human being. When I eventually get an appointment to have an op on my leg - I shall be drawing a big black arrow on my thigh with THIS LEG underneath in indelible ink

Rainbow It is sad to see anyone as superior. More knowledgable, sure, but superior...

Redglitter Oh lord, it never stops, does it. This is ridiculous

It happened to me today. I hated it, it made me feel so small! I'm happy I'm not the only one!

I hate being called Mum to my face by anyone other than my DC. I don’t mind Mrs Tobebythesea but if you don’t know, just ask. You are right Silvery Surfer.