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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate being call mum (by strangers)

89 replies

Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 07/10/2017 13:42

I was just reading this

yomadac.com/2017/10/06/mother-plans-to-give-child-to-adoption-if-she-hears-bubba-or-mama-one-more-time/

And it reminded me of being called "mum" by the nurses/nursery workers and how much I hated it. I also hated the word Bubba and the general patronising/infantilising tone some people used to talk to me (why did I sign for it for a second time? Grin )

AIBU to ask you what were the things that drove you crazy when you had a baby?

It is a lighthearted thread, I realise some people had real problems when trying to conceive/welcoming a baby and being called mum is not really one. I just want to know if I was the only cranky new mother out there

OP posts:
Original poster
Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 08/10/2017 19:27

This is never-ending Grin

OP posts:
ProfessorCat · 08/10/2017 19:41

Kind of don't want to kill the thread but have no idea why!

theymademejoin · 08/10/2017 19:57

@ RainbowBriteRules - I also don't think I am equal to my child's teachers and HCPs- I do view them as superior and have no problem being treated that way.

Really? I most definitely don't see teachers or HCPs as superior to me. In certain situations, they may be more knowledgable but that doesn't make them superior. Equally, I don't see myself as superior when I am dealing with someone in my professional role, even though I am often more knowledgeable in the particular circumstances.

Redglitter · 08/10/2017 20:02

I experienced this recently when I was in hospital. 'Mum could you just step out just now while we do x y z' 'Mum would you mind waiting outside for 5 mins'

I'm 48 - my mum is 71 🙄
It sounded absolutely ridiculous. Got to be a bit of a standing joke between us

RainbowBriteRules · 08/10/2017 20:05

theymademe, yes most of the time (as I said I would not assume this if I had a child with complex needs / illnesses that I was well versed in).

Given that I do not have any experience or qualifications to teach in a school then I absolutely am not superior to a teacher - they are the experts. I do have a line, I regularly comment on uniform rule madness on threads but I think that's not what this thread is about.

Also I am not a doctor - I have a huge amount of respect for doctors. People used to have this in the past and I think it is so lacking today. If I am going to see a doctor for either me or my child it is so they can use their professional skills to diagnose / treat / advise me. I have a huge amount of respect for getting through 5 years of med school and then years and years of training after that. I don't care what they call me as long as they do their job.

Also have no problem with my DC seeing me viewing professionals with respect.

JKR123 · 08/10/2017 20:10

I don't mind it at all. In fact I like it but I think it's because I struggled for years with infertility and never thought I ever would be a mum. I can understand why some people might not like it though.

theymademejoin · 08/10/2017 21:12

@RainbowBriteRules - there's a big difference between treating someone with respect and thinking they are superior to you.

I don't consider anyone to be superior to me. Equally I don't consider myself superior to anyone else. I treat people I meet with respect and expect the same back.

Being the expert in a particular situation simply makes you the person who is more likely to know how to correctly deal with the situation.

RainbowBriteRules · 08/10/2017 21:15

Well I can only speak for myself but as I have said, I do see them as superior but of course everyone has their own way of looking at things - that's just mine.

SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 21:18

Never been a mum but thinking about it, being called mum by anyone other than your DC seems like it is stripping you of your individuality and just lumping mothers together into a mass.

I think I would tell them ' my name is........ it's not mum to anyone other than my DC '. If enough women did it they might stop it.

theymademejoin · 08/10/2017 21:23

Fair enough @RainbowBriteRules.

I think over-deference to professionals can result in a god complex by some of them who then end up thinking they are omnipotent.

My father worked with a load of doctors. He always claimed the experience proved polytheism as they all believed themselves to be godSmile

SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 21:43

RainbowBriteRules
Well I can only speak for myself but as I have said, I do see them as superior but of course everyone has their own way of looking at things - that's just mine.

That's an interesting point of view. I have had experience of seeing consultants and doctors regularly from a young age and yes, I would treat them with respect like anyone else in a professional capacity, I have never thought of them as superior. They don't have two brains, yes they study and work hard to become a consultant but so do many others in several professions to attain senior level.

I agree with theymademejoin, some definitely develop a god complex, can't imagine what they are like in their home life. They are far from omnipotent and can and do make mistakes like any other human being. When I eventually get an appointment to have an op on my leg - I shall be drawing a big black arrow on my thigh with THIS LEG underneath in indelible ink Grin

Original poster
Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 09/10/2017 08:38

Rainbow It is sad to see anyone as superior. More knowledgable, sure, but superior...

Redglitter Oh lord, it never stops, does it. This is ridiculous

OP posts:
Sammymommy · 05/11/2017 20:36

It happened to me today. I hated it, it made me feel so small! I'm happy I'm not the only one!

Tobebythesea · 05/11/2017 20:55

I hate being called Mum to my face by anyone other than my DC. I don’t mind Mrs Tobebythesea but if you don’t know, just ask. You are right Silvery Surfer.

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