Where does the double barrelling stop

[DooWhaaDiddy]

If an unmarried couple give the child both of their surnames, and that child then goes on to have a child with a partner who also has a doublebarrelled surname what do they do? Where does it stop! Application forms or the register at schools must be a nightmare

If Richard Temple-Nugent-Brydges-Chandos-Grenville, 1st Duke of Buckingham and Chandos could cope, I'm sure most people can.

Mind you, he was probably rich enough to pay someone else to fill out forms.

My dd1 has said she will probably keep her surname, I gave her tbus advice initially, unless she marries a man with a better sounding name.
She likes her name and lots of people comment t on what a great name, first middle and lady she has.
I don't understand women who give their child the dads name when it is different to their own AND awful.
I've had children cry because of the teasing they get from their surname then to discover the parents are unmarried and the mums name is so much better baffles me.
Double barrelled is fine dip get as the name flows.
I know lots of families where the children have different surnames all of which would have been avoided if the mother had given the children her surname.

Last not lady!

"For me personally, I know that in a social context being married/part of a married family gives you and your child definite advantages"

Please can you say what those advantages are?

My mind is blown by recent posts. I had absolutely no idea anyone cared whether parents were married or not. I should have thought that MN always reveals people with issues about the tiniest of things, but some of the posts upthread could have been written forty years ago.

Not that double-barrelled=unmarried to me at all.

No one has mentioned those who merge two surnames into one.

I have a surname that is difficult for others to get right, and has three sylables. The thought of making life harder by joining it to another makes me shudder.

Interesting point about the term "double-barrelled"(which I never use, actually)
It was invented by a comedian in the 19th century to satirise posh people- it's a reference to double-barrelled shotguns and pheasant shooting. So it's intended to be a piss take! I know it's the generally accepted term now, but I think it still has a bit of an edge to it in some people's subconscious.

That's interesting, Bertrand. It was certainly something widely mocked when I was young and the only friend I had with a double-barrelled name (married parents, both parents names) dropped half of it by halfway through secondary.

I just haven't noticed when it stopped being something people laughed at as a posh affectation and became everyday, just that at some point it has.

I think the Spanish way is better but is still instrincally sexist as it's the father's name that eventually passes down. I think maybe we should al have double barrelled names and then women pass down their mothers names and men their fathers. I think that would be fair.

My DS has a double barrelled surname that belongs to my exH that dated back to mid 19th C, but no rich aristocratic ancestors sadly 😄

My DIL has a double barrelled first name, but she uses the second one like a middle name. She also had a double barrelled surname that was a composite of her parents’ surnames (I have no idea whether they were married or not and don’t care - both very nice people who get along well still despite not being together, which is all that matters).

When they married, DIL took DS’s surname. I don’t know why - possibly because it is shorter and fits on forms better. I doubt ExH would have cared if he’d taken hers.

No idea what class we all are.

I have a double barrelled surname, i have mothers name and fathers name double barrelled as they made it so when they got married. My partner is also double barrelled from a very similar situation (his parents were also married).
We are not married, but will be next month when i will take his surname (s).
Both our children have his double barrelled surname.

I get asked a lot in regards to children who is the 1st bit and who is the second bit. Fairly annoying when i have to explain I'm neither and have my very own two surnames.

Yes, Bertrand, I always used “hyphenated” as a warning when giving my previous surname, rather than double barrelled.

Not that anyone knows what a hyphen is. I can’t tell you the number of times I acquired an apostrophe. 😩

@elQuintoConyo do you know who Ben Dover is...?

My DC have two surnames, no hyphen. I am married. Nobody gives a shit. I don't give a shit if people think I'm married or not.

As a teacher I do not give a flying fuck if my students' parents are married. It is none of my business and has no impact on my relationship with the children.

I always think this is a silly thing to say. Double barrelled surnames have existed for centuries with no problems at all.

If people start just picking new surnames then future genealogists are going to have to work much harder.

And MumsNet will be a very different place.

Double-barrelling and changing surnames will eventually fall out of fashion, and the new trend will be to marry, take you husbands surname and then have children.

@eurochick do you know what coño and polla mean?

I am an unmarried mother with two children, who each have a different father.

DS1 is Sailor-Smith and DS2 is Sailor-Bloggs.

I am neither chavy or pretentious. I wanted my children to have my name as I was unmarried and, should anything happen, I would become the primary carer and the hassle of having a different surname would become an inconvenience (passports and travel etc).

Although my circumstances with DS2 are completely different to DS1 (living together in own home, committed vs young and in an emotionally abusive relationship) I still wouldn't risk it. It also made my DS1 feel connected to DS2 as they had, somewhat, the same name.

My DS1 already goes by only my surname, and despite registering him as Sailor-Smith in school he turned around a few weeks in and only wanted to be known as Bob Sailor. The teachers spoke to me and respected his wishes.

If DS2 only wants to be known as Bloggs then so be it.

My children will have multiple options on getting married and having children themselves.

Me too umbrella. What on earth is wrong with being unmarried parents? The subtle - and frankly direct - judgement and disapproval on this thread is pretty offensive to me. My DP and I have 3 DC and have been happily unmarried for 14 bloody years.

Also I gave each DS his fathers name to honour their wishes.

Just thought I’d throw this in..

Years ago, my family, on my fathers side, had their mothers surname as a second name,not double-barrelled. All the children had it.

I don’t know why. Maybe it was a way of keeping their mothers name relevant?

I found out that it was quite a common practise back then.

DH and both have "Mc" names, so double barrell wasn't going to work for us -McNugget and McFlurry, would that be a McFlurry-Nugget? A McNugget-McFlurry? Anyway, we didn't do it (don't think it ever came up, tbh)

I use my name mostly, for work, administration/paperwork etc, and use his occasionally when booking stuff on phone- his is easier for others to spell. If we had kids, they'd probably get DH's name, just like the majority of people have their dad's name. I am not being goady when saying that... most of the people I know have their dad's name, which is (obviously) their name now/too, so I am sometimes a bit when people get annoyed by suggestion that kids get the father's name.

Each to their own though! As long as a child is loved and looked after, I can't get too het up over their surname.

God, the things some people find to care about.

Tara P-Ts sister married another with a double blue barrelled name so became. Santa Palmer-Tompkinson-Sebag-Montefiore. Can you imagine the chequebook! Thinks it's shortened now