OK...long story short...I ended my relationship last night. I was seeing possibly the loveliest man in the world, I am crazy about him. The problem was that he only split up with his wife earlier this year, and the arrangement to begin with was that she was going to have the 3 children 3 nights a week. She was the one that left the family home, after an affair. When that was the arrangement she would generally try to wriggle out of having the dc whenever possible, and not have them at all or trim one or two days off. Over the summer holidays she basically didn't see them at all, and it got to the point where the dc didn't actually want to go to hers anyway as she hadn't made any effort to make her new house a home, and was often physically abusive towards them.
The piece de resistance came last month when she announced that she was moving 150 miles away to live with her new bf into a one bedroom flat, and dumped all the stuff she did have for the dc at my bf's house on the way. For all intents and purposes, she has started a new life, conveniently taking no responsibility for the fact she has 3 dc.
Even before that I hardly got to spend any time with my bf, as he has been desperately trying to make it all ok for his dc, and isn't even prepared to get a babysitter for the night as he is concerned that they are going to feel unwanted by him too. Now that his ex has completely buggered off, that has gone from bad to worse and we were not spending any time at all with each other. I was feeling quite miserable about the situation, I would like a partner who I can actually spend time with once in a while, and whilst I have been completely supportive and understanding throughout, I came to the very sad conclusion last night that it was going to be a long time before the dust had settled enough for him to be able to find time in his life for a relationship, so we had a very calm and sad conversation which led to the relationship being over, at least for now, while he sorts his shit out.
I woke up this morning feeling really sad, it felt like the most counter intuitive thing in the world to end it with him as he was such a genuinely great bloke, so I just whatsapped him with a sad face emoji. Didn't get a response, but he was online a couple of times this morning. Hasn't been online since just after midday, which is very unusual for him. I am really worried - last night when I spoke to him he was in a pretty dark place and talking about topping himself or just dumping the kids on his ex and leaving her to deal with it all instead of him (I am fairly certain he wouldn't ever do that as his kids are his world, but he is really struggling to cope at the moment). I sent him a message this afternoon asking if he's ok, no response and he hasn't seen it. t tried calling him about an hour ago, with no response, and sent him another message just asking me to let him know that he's ok. He hasn't seen it. Now I'm really worried that he's done something stupid and am tempted to drive to his, which is half an hour away, just to see if he's ok. I don't know if that's a really bad idea though. We didn't leave things on bad terms last night but it got late and he said he would speak to me today. I'm worried. Sorry this is all a bit garbled, it's all a bit complicated. Should I leave it or go there? Even if it's just to see if his car is there and lights are on?