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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that having a day off work doesn't mean I should be doing household chores?

56 replies

Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 20:33

I've been feeling really rundown and knackered lately. I've had a stinking cold that's dragged on and on and I just feel a bit shit.

I've taken 2 days annual leave from work - today and tomorrow as I just fancy some time to chill a bit

I have done some stuff today - stripped and changed beds, cleaned bathrooms, a couple of loads of washing, stuck the hoover over downstairs and cooked dinner. Other than that, I've watched crap telly, spent a couple of hours sewing and had a nice mooch on the beach with the dog.

DH has come home from work and asked what I've done all day. He's got shitty - I could have mowed the lawn, we're decorating DD1's bedroom so I could have put another coat of paint on the walls, etc, etc

I'm off again tomorrow and had planned on continuing with DD's room then, but today I just wanted a lazy day. Is that really terrible?

He's really pissed me off actually

OP posts:
FluttershysCutieMark · 05/10/2017 20:39

In principal I would say YANBU but annual leave in my house is precious, it is either used to spend some time together off as a family, or used to cover school holidays. This generally means that household chores continue as normal.
We certainly don't take time off to relax and do nothing, as I said all our AL is needed for childcare and family time. But every family is different, that's just our set up.

TealStar · 05/10/2017 20:40

I guess the only answer to this would be in the question whether you'd be happy if your dh did the same on his day off. If so, YANBU.

thatdearoctopus · 05/10/2017 20:41

YANBU. I sympathise. Why do we always feel so guilty for taking a little bit of time out for ourselves? It's important for our sanity.

AuntLydia · 05/10/2017 20:43

I'd say you had a good balance there - that was far from a total lazy day; you did some chores and took a bit of time for yourself. How much does your dh do round the house? How much would he have done really?

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 20:44

I've got some days that I need to use up by the end of the year - now was as good a time as any. The kids are older so don't have to save Annual leave for school holidays any more

Last few days off DH has had have been to go on a stag do, go to an event related to a hobby and an afternoon go karting with his mates - he's not been at home mowing the lawn or decorating

OP posts:
Tiredmum100 · 05/10/2017 20:44

Yanbu. You've actually done a lot today. That's a normal day off for me not a lazy one! My idea of a lazy day would be watching TV or reading all day. As much as you need to do jobs around the home you need to recharge and get well!

aintnothinbutagstring · 05/10/2017 20:45

Sounds like you've done a fair amount of housework in between resting, you're not superwoman!

Turkkadin · 05/10/2017 20:46

There is nothing worse than someone checking up on what you have or haven't done. Why does he get to decide what is an acceptable way for you to spend a day off?

Tilapia · 05/10/2017 20:46

Personally I think YANBU and your DH is being a bit of an arse. I agree with a pp that every family set up is different though.

aintnothinbutagstring · 05/10/2017 20:47

Your last post, the last paragraph, you need to tell him that, its not fair him nagging you to do stuff that he's not prepared to do on his days off.

Tilapia · 05/10/2017 20:47

Have you pointed out to him that you having a lazy day is just as valid as him going out with his mates?

RebelRogue · 05/10/2017 20:49

YANBU and he's a dick,even if you weren't poorly and just wanted a day off.

iamyourequal · 05/10/2017 20:50

Yanbu but you DH is! If you have been feeling run down you need a rest.

stitchglitched · 05/10/2017 20:51

Your day sounded far from lazy, and your husband sounds like an arse. It's okay for him to go to stag dos and hobbies but you can't even have a bit of downtime between the several chores you did today? I'd do nothing tomorrow if I were you, have a nice rest.

AuntLydia · 05/10/2017 20:52

Well he can sod right off then can't he?!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/10/2017 20:52

Doesn't sound lazy at all

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 20:53

Thanks!

I have reminded him that the last few days off he's done what he wanted - that's different though, he took time off to 'do something in particular'

So did I, it's just that my 'something in particular' is sitting on my arse on the couch

I just feel a bit shitty. Cheesed off at work, run down and blah. Nothing massively wrong with me, just a bit 'meh'

He's being a dick

OP posts:
FledglingFTB · 05/10/2017 20:53

YANBU, my previous few days off last week turned into: scrapping my car, second hand car shopping, builder quotes for a leak, cleaning the house and being called into work for a stressful emergency. I'm shattered now.

Evelynismyspyname · 05/10/2017 20:53

YANBU

I work shifts including weekends and hate the implication that I have some kind of extra day off that should be used for extra chores, errands, one off big tasks etc if I'm off on say Wednesday, even though I worked 18 hours over the weekend while everyone else ate frozen pizza and played computer games Hmm

Minidoghugs · 05/10/2017 20:53

He sounds horrible. I'd have a nice day out tomorrow and make sure you don't do a thing about the house.

BewareOfDragons · 05/10/2017 20:54

Out of curiosity, why didn't you take a sick day instead? You're clearly not well...

Butterymuffin · 05/10/2017 20:56

Do absolutely nothing tomorrow other than sitting on the sofa and watching crap TV. That's 'something in particular'. Tell your husband it's a duvet day and you will not be justifying it any further.

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 20:56

I don't feel particularly ill or sick. Just a bit 'blah' if that makes sense

I'm capable of going to work, I've got can't be arsed-itis

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 05/10/2017 21:00

That’s not a lazy day!

A lazy day is lying in bed till whenever you feel like getting up, then eating breakfast on front of the tv in your pjs and only moving off the couch to get yourself something to eat (answer the door to the take away delivery, yes I’ve delviered fish and chips in the middle of the day because I couldn’t be bovvered to go round the corner and order and wait around to collect it & walk back).

Tell him have done far more on your AL, than he has and he needs to wind his neck in.

And tomorrow, down tools and do NOTHNIG, literally nothing!

I used to be married to someone who’d come home and go, ‘what have you been doing all day?’ when I was on maternity leave. Best thing I ever did was leave the fucker.

Not suggesting you LTB, but really need to tell him to go boil his head. The decorating can be done together over the weekend.

Enjoy rest of your AL

RebelRogue · 05/10/2017 21:01

@Ellybellyboo sitting on your arse is a more worthy reason in my eyes to take time off than him gallivanting about.