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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that having a day off work doesn't mean I should be doing household chores?

56 replies

Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 20:33

I've been feeling really rundown and knackered lately. I've had a stinking cold that's dragged on and on and I just feel a bit shit.

I've taken 2 days annual leave from work - today and tomorrow as I just fancy some time to chill a bit

I have done some stuff today - stripped and changed beds, cleaned bathrooms, a couple of loads of washing, stuck the hoover over downstairs and cooked dinner. Other than that, I've watched crap telly, spent a couple of hours sewing and had a nice mooch on the beach with the dog.

DH has come home from work and asked what I've done all day. He's got shitty - I could have mowed the lawn, we're decorating DD1's bedroom so I could have put another coat of paint on the walls, etc, etc

I'm off again tomorrow and had planned on continuing with DD's room then, but today I just wanted a lazy day. Is that really terrible?

He's really pissed me off actually

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 05/10/2017 21:04

I'd sit in the couch and/or spend a couple of hours in a cafe tomorrow out of principle at this point...

He's being a dick indeed.

Minidoghugs · 05/10/2017 21:04

Dont let that bossy so and so manage you.

2017SoFarSoGood · 05/10/2017 21:06

what a Dick he is being.

Sounds like you really needed a real lazy day, and compromised it already. If I were you I'd make sure tomorrow was better.

Hope you feel better. It sounds like you're a bit burnt out. I recognize that description.

highinthesky · 05/10/2017 21:09

Threads like this remind me of how lucky I am to be single. No cooking, no housework and no maintenance unless I feel like it.

Having said that I do feel a lot happier in a clean and tidy house - a couple of hours is all it takes - but not if I was ordered to do it by somebody else!

Aridane · 05/10/2017 21:09

You've done loads

Fattychan123 · 05/10/2017 21:10

Erm tomorrow we all suggest you sit on the sofa do nothing eat pringles and watch horrible TV.

Not one chor shall be done however the entire contents of the cupboards shall be ate !!!

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 21:10

Thanks!

I had planned on doing some painting tomorrow, but a new fabric/craft/sewing shop has opened near me so I think I'm going to take my credit card and work on my stash instead Grin

OP posts:
BakedBeans47 · 05/10/2017 21:12

Tell him to fuck off, he's being an arse.

LucheroTena · 05/10/2017 21:12

What an arse, who made him the boss of you? I wouldn't do any chores at all tomorrow, if he asks what you've done just reply "this and that" or "can't remember".

Theresnonamesleft · 05/10/2017 21:14

If I had the cash after his comments I would say ok, see you on Sunday. Here's a list on things that need doing and top of the list would be mow lawn, paint, clean windows and oven.

Andylion · 05/10/2017 21:14

stripped and changed beds, cleaned bathrooms, a couple of loads of washing, stuck the hoover over downstairs and cooked dinner.

How is that a lazy day?
YANBU.

RhiannonOHara · 05/10/2017 21:20

Last few days off DH has had have been to go on a stag do, go to an event related to a hobby and an afternoon go karting with his mates - he's not been at home mowing the lawn or decorating

He's a massive hypocrite and I'd be telling him in no uncertain terms that my days off are my business.

As for changing beds, cleaning bathrooms, washing etc: I don't do that much on a good day, when I'm not feeling 'bleh'!

Take a proper day to yourself tomorrow. Stay in bed with the radio and a coffee, throw sticks for the dog on the beach, lie on the floor with music on. Fuck the housework. You sound a bit low and like you really need a proper rest.

Mittens1969 · 05/10/2017 21:21

You did plenty today, did your DH even notice what you had done?? I bet he didn’t, my DH is lovely but he doesn’t notice if I’ve cleaned the bathrooms, washed the kitchen floor or done any dusting.

But regardless, it’s not down to him how you spend your days off, especially as he’s been away gallivanting on his days off.

SpottedGingham · 05/10/2017 21:25

You did more than I usually do 😸

SlothMama · 05/10/2017 21:26

YANBU sounds like you are married to a selfish dick

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 21:27

Thanks all Flowers

DD has been nagging to finish her room, so I feel a bit guilty about not doing it to be honest.

I do feel a bit blue at the moment. I'm definitely not my usual self.

I'm terribly introverted and we've been really busy and I haven't had any time to myself for weeks.

Definite trip to the beach tomorrow with doggo, always blows the cobwebs away. He's so ridiculously happy to be at the beach that he always makes me laugh.

Trip into town for some pretty stuff and some time with my lovely sewing machine again I think.

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 05/10/2017 21:29

You said your kids are older, why can’t your DD paint her own bedroom?

My two have painted their own rooms they’re aged 14 & 12, I helped a bit to speed things up but they did the bulk of it.

Hippiechic · 05/10/2017 21:30

That's not a lazy day at all!! However we do tend to save annual leave for school holidays and family time so it depends what the set up is in your situation.

tocas · 05/10/2017 21:30

Yanbu, your husband is.

MudCity · 05/10/2017 21:35

YANBU. Enjoy your day off tomorrow, especially spending quality time with your lovely dog.

RhiannonOHara · 05/10/2017 21:36

I'm terribly introverted and we've been really busy and I haven't had any time to myself for weeks.

No wonder you're feeling low.

Can't your DD do her room herself, or at least pitch in? Or at LEAST least not 'nag' Hmm you about it?

maddiemookins16mum · 05/10/2017 21:39

YANBU, my DP does long shifts/sleep ins etc. Tomorrow is a day off for him. I'm up at 5am to commute into London.
All I expect (hope) to be done when I get home is the bed made and the tea (dinner/supper) cooking. In fact I'll be annoyed if he hasn't slobbed on the sofa all day watching Sky. Everyone needs down time without being made to feel bad about it.

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 05/10/2017 21:45

DD has been helping - she did all the horrible sanding/prep work that I really hate.

The room was bright colours so we've put a couple of coats of white over it. We've got to go to B&Q to get the colour she's chosen before she can do any more

OP posts:
RhiannonOHara · 05/10/2017 22:09

Fair enough then.

But you still sound down and you still need a nice day off for yourself! Thanks Brew

BitOfANameChange · 05/10/2017 22:20

Definitely enjoy time off tomorrow. I left someone recently and housework was an issue too (among many). Or rather, persistent housework avoidance on someone else's part.