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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have never sent or received a "sexy pic"

108 replies

WhatsThisNow · 05/10/2017 20:04

Do people really do this a lot? What does it involve? I can't imagine willingly taking a naked picture of myself (pouting??) and sending it to my husband/partner/random off Tinder. I've also never opened a text to find a flaccid penis sitting there. Or erect I suppose. It really worries me that in the future my small children will think photographing your bits (I can't actually believe sane grown ups do this) and texting them to someone is normal social interaction. I feel like a dinosaur sometimes. I'm pretty sure nobody I know does this. But then again, I've never actually asked...maybe they're all at it? It just seems so dangerous - and nasty. AIBU?

OP posts:
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6
LoniceraJaponica · 06/10/2017 10:18

DH is a bit of a techie nerd and is amazed at the naivety shown on this thread.

A digital images, even if deleted can always be retrieved. How do you think the police can retrieve deleted child porn images from computers of suspects?

Gribbit · 06/10/2017 11:12

I'd quite like to receive a dick pic, I obviously don't run in the right circles!

TheNaze73 · 06/10/2017 11:15

I think it’s very much a case of whatever floats your boat.

Bufferingkisses · 06/10/2017 17:27

Loni, does your dh really think that our phones or cameras will be stolen and someone will spend the time recovering the deleted photos just on the off chance that they might get a nudie pic of the former phone owner?

Sounds like a lot of effort when so much is freely available tbh.

BlackPepperCrab · 06/10/2017 17:53

I've never done it either. Unless you 100% trust someone and have years of history with them, it's just a potential recipe for disaster. Back when I was in uni, I knew for a fact that a fair few of my male team-mates traded nudes of their girlfriends/dates in order to "rank" them. Send a picture to one of those types and it'll very likely be in circulation around the internet forever.

Not worth the risk IMO.

BandHag · 06/10/2017 17:55

trusting any man to keep the photos private forever is extremely naive.

BlackPepperCrab · 06/10/2017 17:58

trusting any man to keep the photos private forever is extremely naive.

Not only men; I've seen women post nudes of their ex-girlfriends on forum boards as well.

Mollie85 · 06/10/2017 18:06

I did this when I was in my early 20's ( to a person who I used to talk to in an MSN chat room- when they were a "thing"). I wasn't totally naked, it was pants and no top. No face, just the bottom of my chin.

We argued one night and he posted the picture to individual members of the chat room. I was devastated.

Now I'm 36 and know that that pic is floating around cyber space. I can't let it bother me - in the grand scheme of things it's pretty small fry compared to what we go through in our daily lives ...

That said- I am pretty thankful I had the nuance to not include my face.

Lethaldrizzle · 06/10/2017 18:08

I would never do it in a month of Sundays. I also hate all the sexualised images that young women post of themselves on Facebook etc.

Mollie85 · 06/10/2017 18:09

*nuance?

Foresight!!! I am clearly thinking about something else Confused

TheLesserWeevil · 06/10/2017 18:20

Oh, in answer to OPs question on p1, google Robert Mapplethorpe. He took some amazing, beautiful, arty dick pics. (Autocorrect wanted to change that to 'sorry duck pics', which is probably a better description of most of the sexy photos flying around on the internet.)

Original poster
WhatsThisNow · 07/10/2017 20:38

With respect, I don't think I want to google "arty dick pics", especially on an iPad I share with my children! Grin

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 07/10/2017 21:16

WhatsThisNow Incognito mode exists for exactly this reason 😂😂😂

DearMrDilkington · 07/10/2017 21:20

I've sent photos before, but I'd only send them to someone I completely trust.

Penis photos always look ridiculous though, they just aren't very photogenic.

TammySwansonTwo · 08/10/2017 06:25

The fact that you have managed to exist a similar a woman on the internet and never receive a dick pic is frankly miraculous. I have never done internet dating but I've been sent loads - initially back in the days of Lycos chat (about 15 years ago - not a new phenomenon sadly!) and now on Facebook, usually if I dare to express a political opinion on a public page.

I love instagram accounts like ByeFelipe, they make me so thankful I don't have to online date, men can be fucking vile

ProfessorCat · 08/10/2017 06:37

Ah, Mumsnet. A place where people care SO much about what other people do, they feel the need to berate things that others enjoy, repeatedly, on a public forum.

Why is it so impossible to let people enjoy things?

Why do you care so much about things that have no impact on you?

Why is it so hard to understand that different people like different things?

It baffles me. I've never come across people this bizarre, ever. At least it's entertaining to read and laugh at.

aurynne · 08/10/2017 07:25

I've received dick picks. Unsolicited. Why any heterosexual woman would solicit one is beyond me. It's one of the unsexiest things ever.

WorldWideWanderer · 08/10/2017 07:32

I've never done it. Don't want to....I'm old but I'm not sure it's to do with age, just maturity.
As another poster said, I don't need reminding what a partner's bits look like and I'm not interested in seeing anyone else's. Certainly not appearing on my 'phone.
If others want to do this, fine, but I worry about the effect it has on youngsters and the danger of pictures being out there on the internet.

Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2017 07:38

Ah, Mumsnet a place where people post an AIBU and get some opinions and discuss something.

Then all go back to RL and do whatever they want and not care either way.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 08/10/2017 07:39

I took some mucky pictures with my boyfriend about 20 years ago, (both late teens) when we had to send them off in the post to avoid the embarrassment of Boots. He destroyed his when we split up, mine are still in a box in the loft. I trusted him, but I was very lucky and would strongly discourage my DD from doing the same, especially now everything is digital.

BillywilliamV · 08/10/2017 07:45

My dd is 14 and has been asked for 'nudes' by boys. I think they do it on the off-chance but I think it's horrible. Luckily her reaction is ugh! These are boys she has dated maybe once. I do point out that it would be illegal for her to post and them to repost.
Incidentally, I trust my husband implicitly too, but not to not have me committed if I ever sent him a naked picture.

BillywilliamV · 08/10/2017 07:46

Noticed phone has changed 'dd' to 'dad' in last post, made for a very different message!!!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 08/10/2017 09:34

I'm old but I'm not sure it's to do with age, just maturity.

Are you saying you think only immature people send these pics? Because if so, that's ridiculous.

L0quacious · 08/10/2017 09:37

I don't think that's a ridiculous statement. It's a risky thing to do. Is it worth the risk. Why can the other person not wait to see you in person? Does he want you to put yourself at risk for his gratification. I think a mature person will weigh all of this up.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 08/10/2017 09:42

In a committed relationship where one partner is away and there is 100% trust, I think it can be quite sexy. Sending penis pics to a random on tinder is a different kettle of fish and pretty revolting.

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