Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not wish to be called OCD?

363 replies

BlueButTrue · 05/10/2017 17:49

Every day I:

Clean my floors with floor wipes (twice a day, more if I see any mark etc).

Wash up as I go.

Make my beds first thing

Hoover all rooms (about 3/4 times a day)

Wash on, put a wash away

Clean kitchen surfaces (3/4 times, more if I'm using kitchen more).

Clean cupboard doors/draws

Hoover sofa

Hoover living room rug (twice)

Wipe down living room surfaces (3/4 times)

Clean toilet (3/4 times a day, sometimes more)

Clean bathroom (about twice a day top to bottom, and little wipe downs etc whenever else).

Empty bin

Wipe down bedroom furniture/dust surfaces

Every other day I:

Steam clean bathroom and kitchen. Sometimes this is every day too.

Hoover behind sofas (will do this each day if any actual messes are created).

Twice a week:

Clean out fridge

Clean inside cupboards

My Nan is apparently "worried" at the extent I'm cleaning, but I think it's healthy and normal. It keeps me calm and makes me happy. I don't believe it's extensive. "Cleaning isn't good for the soul" says DNan.

MIL has hinted I should be checked for OCD.

Personally, I find this quite offensive. OCD is a serious health issue and not one to joke about.

AIBU to clean the way I do and think it's healthy? AIBU to think it's offensive to others who really do suffer that it isn't acceptable to go around, throwing the term 'OCD' about?

OP posts:
Fannylodger · 05/10/2017 20:09

So it stays clean, I presume?

All dirt starts with a small amount of crumbs, a little splash, a bit of ketchup, a bit of dust, a tiny bit of hair in the sink or shower plug.... if it's cleaned out daily then it'll be much much easier to keep on top of and won't take long to do.

I have one child (yes I spend lots of time with her and I manage to work) and my cleaning routine is similar to yours OP. The only difference is I vacuum behind the sofa once a fortnight as it doesn't need it more often. It's very heavy, low and up against a wall so not much gets behind it.
YANBU.

Original poster
BlueButTrue · 05/10/2017 20:09

You haven't answered why you need to clean something that is already clean?

Because it technically isn't. For some reason there's always dust returning whenever I return again Envy

Wasn't like this in my last house,
No idea why it is.

OP posts:
blueberrypie0112 · 05/10/2017 20:10

You probably shedding more due to pregnancy or the duct work need to be fixing (or old paint)

MarthaArthur · 05/10/2017 20:11

dementedma sorry to hear your daughter is struggling. My ocd isnt cleaning either so I understand your frustration. I have pure O ocd and have niggling insideous thoughts all day from waking to bed I have none stop thoughts and rituals. I am also health obsessed and every little thing sparks fear in me. So I get how your daughter is although shes more severe than me. X

Fannylodger · 05/10/2017 20:19

I wouldn't mind betting I don't spend much more time cleaning than the average person despite having a routine similar to OP, either. I spend an hour a day cleaning, tops. Comparatively my sister who doesn't clean much daily (just the general stuff ie dishes) has a full cleaning day on either Saturday or Sunday... so we probably spend a similar time cleaning but I just do a smaller amount each day. The bonus being that it stays lovely and clean daily rather than mess building up throughout the week until the weekend and then the cycle starts again to each their own but I couldn't live like that. I also don't have OCD but I do find cleaning satisfying.

Graphista · 05/10/2017 20:25

i wondered if an element of nesting but 18 months you've been like this.

Speaking as someone with germ phobia related OCD I have never done this amount of cleaning, but I have known people (diagnosed with OCD) who have.

It's really not healthy. Mentally or physically if you're heavily pregnant and already have back pain plus as a pp mentioned all the chemicals you're ingesting.

Speak to your GP or midwife ASAP. You REALLY won't have the time or energy to do this once baby here.

I was first diagnosed as a result of health visitor noting I had a 4 month old - and a spotless house! Even when she turned up unannounced.

You really need to start addressing this before baby is here because babies come with a LOT of clutter and mess even BEFORE they're mobile.

Plus it's not healthy for them to be in a virtually sterile - but very chemical environment.

What does your dh think? I'm guessing he's already tried to address this with you and you've brushed him off so he's mentioned his concerns to his mum.

Walkingdead11 · 05/10/2017 20:26

Seriously how do you find the time?? You can't possibly work and where are your kids during all this cleaning??

PoppyPopcorn · 05/10/2017 20:28

God, imagine sitting down next to a new mum at a baby group or something and starting to chat, after you've asked the usual questions about how old the baby is and what he's called, you ask "So what do you do in your spare time?"

And then the mum tells you all about her "hobby" cleaning and how she hoovers 3 times a day and her cream carpets and how she gets a kick out of the fresh smells... I'd be backing off VERY quickly.

Graphista · 05/10/2017 20:34

"I don't think that's ocd as its not making you anxious"

You're misunderstanding the cycle of OCD

I can't do it as a circle on here but it goes

Obsessive thought - anxiety about X - perform ritual to relieve anxiety and feel 'calm' (brain learns that to feel calm MUST do ritual - and as pps have said doesn't have to be cleaning) all fine (apparently) until next obsessive thought. Cycle begins again...

Op is 'seeing' dust accumulate this is not normal, shows she's in the grip of obsessive thought and hypervigilance. I notice every bin, every piece of litter, every drain cover (so I can avoid them). Someone who's OCD revolves around say fire risk notices every fraying wire etc

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 05/10/2017 20:35

I'm confused how you fit a baby into all this cleaning. Also, why did you ask? You don't feel it's excessive, everyone here has told you it is, yet you still argue it's fine so why bother asking.

Graphista · 05/10/2017 20:40

People should at least read OP's posts - she's not had the baby yet.

Original poster
BlueButTrue · 05/10/2017 20:48

I actually spend less time cleaning than anyone I know, it seems. As I do it as I go so it doesn't take chunks

SIL is constantly stressed because her house has been turned upside down, but she doesn't do it as she goes along and does it in stressy intervals and crams it all into one go

I never get stressed about mess because there isn't any.

For some reason dust does seem to gather more in my house, not sure why. I wouldn't clean as much if it wasn't like that. Again, probably jot noticeable to anyone else but I can see it very clearly

My cream carpets are a pain in the bum too, as are the white tiles on the floor in the bathroom that just generally take a bit more maintenance.

Again, cleaning doesn't seem to interfere with my daily life so why would it be OCD?

Again, I don't feel anxious about it, I just look forward to it like I use to look forward to going for a ride on my horse as a child.

It really isn't consuming me but I do indeed see it as a hobby.

Yes I would feel a bit put out if I couldn't do a clean or something, but no more than someone would if they couldn't go to their usual social group event or what have you. It's a mild disappointment

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 05/10/2017 20:52

There's enough dust to draw in it with your fingers in my house,but I don't see it at all. Whatever I'm lacking, OP seems to have double it.

Motoko · 05/10/2017 20:54

So, you admit the dust that you see, others probably wouldn't. Don't you see that alone is a problem?

What does your DH say about it? It must also cost a fortune in cleaning products.

madcatwoman61 · 05/10/2017 20:56

How on earth are you going to cope when you have a toddler?

Betsy86 · 05/10/2017 20:57

Op at first i thought wow shes ott...... But now i just wish i was more like you to be honest Smile

LoniceraJaponica · 05/10/2017 20:58

How does your husband feel about your excessive cleaning? And how on earth will you be able to physically and mentally deal with the mess a baby/toddler/child brings?

NooNooHead · 05/10/2017 21:00

I think it is fine to be houseproud and have a lovely home but realistically you won’t be able to keep this up when the baby arrives - you won’t have the time or energy to scratch your bum, let alone hoover a room three times a day after being woken up 4 times a night...

Do you have any help for when the baby arrives? How do you expect to keep all of this up?! I’m v curious to know if you have a magic formula that makes cleaning appealing as I hate it!

Original poster
BlueButTrue · 05/10/2017 21:08

Betsy Bless you, thank you! Maybe I'm just boring 😂 and have a boring hobby!

OP posts:
gingergenius · 05/10/2017 21:09

That's a lot of cleaning. The crux though, is not so much how much cleaning you do, but the effect it has on your life. How much of your day is spent cleaning? Do you neglect our avoid other things (family/friends/work/study) to find time to clean instead? How do you feel if you can't carry out the cleaning you want to do? Why do you feel so much cleaning is needed (eg why does each room need vacuumed four times a day - why would once not be "enough"?)

^^ this.

OCD is a set of compulsive actions that affect your day life in a negative way.

OP your cleaning habits are excessive but whether they are classified as OCD, only a Mental Health expert can help you with.

Excessive cleaning does not denote OCD. However your need to keep clean Gould be indicative of a deeper problem, so it might be worth talking to a trusted person irl. That is an awful lot of cleaning though.

Original poster
BlueButTrue · 05/10/2017 21:11

How does your husband feel about your excessive cleaning? And how on earth will you be able to physically and mentally deal with the mess a baby/toddler/child brings?

He's fine with it, he's quite tidy himself but of course even he admits I'm quite 'extra'. He doesn't have any complaints though as I always have time for him. If he wants to chat/have a sit down then that's great, I'm always happy to

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueButTrue · 05/10/2017 21:13

I think it is fine to be houseproud and have a lovely home but realistically you won’t be able to keep this up when the baby arrives - you won’t have the time or energy to scratch your bum, let alone hoover a room three times a day after being woken up 4 times a night...

I think it's unfair to say I won't have time to clean ever again now and that's it. It really does depend what baby I end up with, although of course I know I won't ever have the time to clean like I do now. But that's fine by me Smile

It's not forever. DH is tidy so will help me. I'm not too bothered about letting things slide for a while. It's just like giving up a hobby for a good while. Needs must and all etc

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueButTrue · 05/10/2017 21:14

Oh and I'm up about 4/5 times a night as it is Sad I don't sleep very well. I haven't for a few months.

What's more, I often don't even get any blocks of sleep! Can be up every hour sometimes for no reason at all

OP posts:
GoldenOrb · 05/10/2017 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajesticWhine · 05/10/2017 21:18

It doesn't sound much like OCD to me because it is not causing any distress or interfering with what you want to be doing. And I am happy to be called an armchair psychologist as I am in fact a psychologist Smile

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.