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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the laughing at "lower class" people on here?

354 replies

brasty · 05/10/2017 10:02

I know it gets disguised as laughing at certain children's names, phrases, etc, but there is a lot of threads on MN that is really about laughing at poorer people. Hate it.

OP posts:
tippz · 05/10/2017 11:29

I agree with the OP. It is horrible on here sometimes. People sneering at peoples choice of children names, saying if you say 'tea' instead of dinner you are 'common,' and it's 'very working class' to say it, saying regional dialects are only used by 'chavs' and middle class people don't have strong regional accents, and only under-achievers rent their home, and so on and so on. (Whilst obviously mentioning that they have three university degrees, and a massively successful high-flying professional career (that seemingly allows them to spend 8 hours a day on mumsnet amazingly!) And of course they have cleaners, and a gardener, and a maid, and a butler, and a nanny.

And the amount of 'teachers' and 'doctors' who are always on here amazes me, and also lots of people who work in law, who obviously know everything. And they think £60K is an 'average income.' Confused

It's a joke to be honest. Most people on here are low-grade admin at best, with an average 3 bed semi, and an average income. OR they are stay at home mothers who WERE in that kind of job. Nothing wrong with that of course, but why try and pretend you are something more/better/more superior?

Some women claim to be on sabbatical from their hugely successful highly paid career, while they are looking after their kids. But NO-ONE who is a very successful professional on a 6 figure salary, gives up work to raise a family.

Every woman I know who is a hugely successful professional, or is highly successful self employed business woman, has 3 or 4 months off, then goes back to work. She has a nanny or a creche at the workplace. And she most certainly does NOT spend half her working hours on mumsnet.

And as several posters have said, these smug faux middle class 'highly qualified professionals' are ALWAYS a size 8, and think anything over a size 12 is 'fat,' and they ALWAYS cook from scratch! And they always have husbands who are on £200K, with a very long commute, and the husbands have such an exciting career, that the wife can't book any holidays away or anything, because she never knows where her husband is going to be from one week to the next.

And people only sneer at 'middle class' people, if the (faux) middle classes try to sneer at others. I also agree with the poster who said being financially well off does not automatically mean you are middle class/classy. I know some lovely, polite, classy people who have very few assets and very little money, and some horrible, arrogant, nasty people who have lots of material goods.

The ones who make me laugh are those who grew up in a working class home, and think because they went to uni, and are now on £35-40K and have a £250K mortgage, that they are now middle class!

But yeah the threads that start 'I hate it when people say.....' are just unpleasant, and snobby, and obnoxious. As are the posters who start them.

pigeondujour · 05/10/2017 11:29

See the irony there in accusing other people of policing?

existentialmoment · 05/10/2017 11:30

No. Because there is no irony.

paxillin · 05/10/2017 11:30

Boden worship is a bloody minefield of class snobbery.

Some people who Boden worship do so because they are snobs and think Primark is for plebs. Some even say so. Some Boden-sceptics do it out of reverse snobbery or because they laugh at people with more money than sense. And some people Boden-sneer because they are snobbish upper-middles who see Boden as try-hard for those lower middles who don't really have class.

The discussion would be a lot easier if it was truly about the love or hatred of brightly coloured tunics and animal print kids clothes.

LongWavyHair · 05/10/2017 11:31

I have a lot more sympathy for lower class people being mocked than I do for middle class people. It almost seems such a trivial issue being called for their choice of supermarket when you think about how much better position they are in.

Lc people get mocked when they are struggling and probably feel even more shit by the comments. Not trivial at all.

Like someone said, punching up is not as bad as punching down.

pigeondujour · 05/10/2017 11:31

Again, saying that doesn't make it true. You seem very defensive.

Bluntness100 · 05/10/2017 11:35

Punching up is diffrent to punching down

Neither is acceptable. The argument of “well your wrong is worse than my wrong” is total and utter bullshit. Any sneering, whatever side of the fence you sit on, is never excusable and certainly not with the childish “well you were worse” excuse.

Ttbb · 05/10/2017 11:39

That's not true. I know a lot of poor people who have children with normal names and who can speak properly. Class is a social construct not a financial state.

PickingOakum · 05/10/2017 11:40

I'm always a bit bewildered as to why so many posters on mn equate wealth with class, taste and culture.

I live on a mixed estate and some of my working class neighbours who are tradesmen have a far higher annual income than we do. The chap who lives in the old Victorian rectory at the end of our road isn't a doctor or a lawyer; he's a joiner who operates within a limited company setup.

Where I live, "working class" no longer, by any stretch, means "poor", and "middle class" no longer means a comfortable household income. Instead, these terms are more about cultural mores than socio-economic group.

So I think it is rather anachronistic to assume working class = poorer people.

paxillin · 05/10/2017 11:41

Most people on here are low-grade admin at best, with an average 3 bed semi, and an average income. OR they are stay at home mothers who WERE in that kind of job.

No, I do believe there are many people in very middle class professions on here. The academics board for instance is busy. One of the perks that comes with such jobs is a high degree of freedom over ones time and little control. The technician and the administrator in the front office cannot MN at work, the academic can, she has her own office and isn't controlled by others in the same way. This does not excuse her classism of course.

user1483808257 · 05/10/2017 11:42

YES. I was going to post something similar. It's ruining mumsnet for me if I am honest. It's a shame because there is so much support and kindness - which I am certain really helps people - but it is marred by people who just can't seem to be pleasant.

What happened to 'If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'?!

I certainly don't agree with a lot of the stuff I see on here but I couldn't imagine feeling the need to take the piss out of someone else and their choices. Odd.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 05/10/2017 11:42

I know a lot of poor people who have children with normal names

Hmm normal names?

pigeondujour · 05/10/2017 11:45

Absolutely wealth and class don't positively correlate 100%, but the link is nevertheless undeniable.

DaemonPantalaemon · 05/10/2017 11:45

Oh FFS, tone police out again. I'm poor. I grew up in severe poverty. And if I want to take the piss out of people who give their kids made up mis-spelled names and sell tat on FB then I can and will. Because those things are NOT about being poor and its fucking insulting of you to suggest that it is. Poor does not equal stupid.

Does black or African mean stupid? There are a number of African names that are mentioned on these threads, that have beautiful meanings if you understand the original language. On the recent stupid baby name thread, someone was taking the piss out of the Akan name Nana, a name that is the 5th most popular girl's name in Ghana. It means Queen, and is given to a much longed for girl. But if you choose to be tone deaf about the cultures, I guess Nana is a stupid name.

On the same thread, someone also mocked the name Mercedes, which is a Spanish Catholic name meaning Our Lady of Mercies. It existed long before the car was invented but there you go, some ignorant English person thinks they can mock "stupid" foreign names on the basis of their ignorance.

There are many other instances of African and other foreign names being mocked here. But I guess it is about the tone police, not about the fact that this website attracts some pretty racist types.

Oblomov17 · 05/10/2017 11:46

I don't really see this.
I don't really care how much high fly'ers earn or question how much time they spend on MN.
I just don't care. And I take posters at face value. I haven't got the time, energy or brain power, or rather cant be fxxking bothered to work out if they are telling the truth.

sarahconorsvest · 05/10/2017 11:48

Classist, racists and entirely ignorant. The snobs posting that crap also have very little knowledge of truly high class people who would never sneer at someone else's meal/name or brand of car.

I drive an absolute wreck, my kids have names that repeatedly come up on the 'oh god aren't the proles awful' threads and a very working class accent. I work with a lot of extremely rich families with DC at Eaton etc and they have no predudices, nor do the wealthy Chinese/Russian/Asian/Nigerian families I work for.

I wish MN would do something about it - especially the blatant racism on the name ridiculing threads.

SoupDragon · 05/10/2017 11:48

The dropping of the "r" in car is to be admired

How do you drop the r in car? I'm sitting here muttering it to myself,

paxillin · 05/10/2017 11:50

cah

2014newme · 05/10/2017 11:50

Cake smashes are working class. Middle class people dont do it.
So are big bows on babies, excessive Xmas spending, calling children jayden and sapphire.
Buying furniture at argos.
So what. If people want to do those things let them knock themselves out.

There have always been class signifiers. Those are today's tge reasons will be different ones in 20 tears.

viques · 05/10/2017 11:51

It's Eton.

Sorry. Runs away very very fast.

27Feb · 05/10/2017 11:51

The home decor threads have made me wince quite a bit recently, as everyone piles on anyone who has to decorate their house on the cheap.

User843022 · 05/10/2017 11:53

'Most people on here are low-grade admin at best, with an average 3 bed semi, and an average income. OR they are stay at home mothers who WERE in that kind of job.'

I know, Im always a bit Confused when I read 'lawyer here' or 'cardiologist here', yeah course you are. Absolutely nothing wrong with being a sahp or off sick but the delusions of grandeur are a bit odd.

SoupDragon · 05/10/2017 11:54

cah

Is this the thing about rolled Rs not appearing in all accents? Ah and ar are the same in mine.

Flyingflipflop · 05/10/2017 11:55

I've just come to the conclusion that most people on MN are actually not very pleasant.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 05/10/2017 11:56

Queen My son is called Justice but I've never heard of another --accept on a film- ! Slightly off topic...

Guilty Men mocking women is totally different and worse than women mocking men, is it? Us poor ickle feeble women...