AIBU to be extremely upset at having to sell my home?

[woods4thetrees]

My partner with whom I just bought our first house in March this year walked out at the weekend with his 2 DS (10 &11) , leaving myself and my 5 year old DS from a previous relationship. We have just spent the last 6 months doing the place up spending a large amount of money in the process (think new kitchen, bathroom etc) and had literally just finished all this when he decided he was leaving. He cites my anger and stress as the reason saying he no longer loves me. I am currently feeling like I am going crazy. I do have a short fuse and a sharp tongue, but suffer with depression and have been pretty down as have been stressed about all the work we’ve been doing in the house and also the transition that has been going on getting used to us all living together. He and I had very different parenting styles, I am quite strict, believe in disciple and boundaries. He is very laid back and wants to be their mate, no consequences to bad behaviour, that type of thing. We’d had a few rows recently, nothing really major I’d thought but then I am a bit of an argumentative so and so. He is a more sensitive soul but is also quite rude and patronising at times to me but was generally very loving. This has come a bit out of the blue. He wants to now sell the house, he pestered me to sell my house and move in with him, uprooting my son, and now I’m going to have to move again!! AIBU to be really really REALLY upset? My DS just asked me if we can buy back our old house I can’t decide if it’s all my fault!

I also don’t see the benefit in giving it more time, I’m sorry. House moves and renovations are very difficult, add into the mix one party who has been clinically depressed for most of the time, both parties fundamentally differing on parenting, and tie in the newly blended family and you can see how that would make a fairly new relationship in terms of living together very difficult indeed.

You also sound like you can’t stand him, although I suspect much of that is understandable anger.

The mortgage penalty should be both your costs, you both contributed to the break down and you both made a mistake. I’d really just focus on getting out as pain free as possible, dusting yourself off and moving on.

You have a difference in parenting styles that should have been explored further before cohabiting but no one can go back so moving forward is the way to go!

Put the house on the market.

Go to a mortgage broker and see what you can get and start flathuntibg.

Could you get a lodger in and would that be enough help until the penalty clause has passed? Ex would still need to contribute to the mortgage until that point.