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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is crass and shouldn't happen again.

87 replies

Fixthis · 04/10/2017 18:32

At work we hold an annual conference for managers and assistant managers. So about 1,200 employees attend. It is the usual thing, updates about the company plan and sharing the good news stories and making people feel part of something bigger.

Each of the most senior business leaders have a slot and generally all try to make it fun or interesting. For example one sets theirs up like a talk show. Each year a certain one of them choses to come on to stage flanked by models in little clothing. Nothing else. They don't perform or even talk that just stand either side of him and music plays as he comes in.

I instantly thought, eewww and why. To me the message is is giving to 1,200 employees is that women are there to look at and no more. Certainly that is the only roll thoes particular women have.

To be clear, we don't work in an industry that is at all related to beauty/fashion/modelling.

It makes me feel really embarrassed to work for the company. The guy has since been promoted and there is speculation in the office if he will do the same this year or if his replacement to his old job will 'get the honour'.

I think is is pathetic and sends a terrible message. AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 05/10/2017 06:26

Pretend but that "aesthetic" is sexist anyway and has NO place in a proffessional environment. So what he's "going for" is irrelevant.

kuniloofdooksa · 05/10/2017 07:14

The issue isn't the models themselves but that the use of them in this event demonstrates a toxic culture of sexism at the highest ranks of the company. Everyone involved in and approving of the decision to have them on stage is working on the assumption that the default category of manager and senior staff in the company is someone male, heterosexual and who approves of the objectification of women. This culture is so embedded that anyone who doesn't fit with that feels powerless to challenge it

Personally I would be jobhunting elsewhere and leave the dinosaurs to totter their way to extinction. However if you choose to stay and challenge this, focus on the bigger overall issue not just this one symptom.

Elledouble · 05/10/2017 07:24

God. What goes through people's heads? Who could have that idea, presumably get the expenses signed off and actually order women (shudder) without wondering if everyone in the room would appreciate it?

I've often thought there's a certain breed of businessperson that has had their empathy removed, but that takes the biscuit!

topcat2014 · 05/10/2017 07:28

With 1200 managers that must be a 'household' name, OP - care to share it?

Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 08:35

The funny thing is a phrase that gets used a lot here is 'Would it pass the Daily Mail test?' I.e. Would you be happy for them to publish a story about it.

Clearly no one asked it in this set up it did and thought it would be okay.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 08:39

Topcat I really wish I had the guys to tell you all but I fear for my job. I even name changes so that people wouldn t be able to use all my past posts to work it or me out.

The thing is I adore my actual job it is just perfect for me but a hatesome of the very sexist actions and remarks often displayed.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 05/10/2017 08:48

I would think your HR have an equality officer to report it to, also check out company policies on it.

Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 09:15

*guts

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 05/10/2017 09:44

I agree with all the voices suggesting that you check the company policies on inclusion, diversity etc. If the problem is that they just don't have any, then it would a different kettle of fish compared to having them and just not twigging, or caring, that they are being violated.

What do you want to get done. Offload your feelings, or actually get things changed. Both would be entirely valid...you just need to be clear what you are going for. Before you approach anyone, you really need to know what the current policies say. Getting new policies in place would probably take more effort than pointing out a breach.

Good luck, whatever you do, it seems it will be more than anyone else appears to have done. Its a start, let's hope it's the thin end of the wedge.

2014newme · 05/10/2017 09:49

Not acceptable. I work in a business with 60,000 employees no way would this be allowed

Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 09:52

But what am I checking the policies for? They aren't likely to say ' we font pay people simply to be gawped at' will they?

We have a code of conduct and an employee hand book that talk about respect and such.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 09:53

There might be more policies but that's all I can seem to access on our internal pages.

OP posts:
2014newme · 05/10/2017 09:57

There won't be a policy about it.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/10/2017 10:03

Respect is useful but also see if you have a bullying and harassment policy or equality and diversity.

Seeing women being objectified could be deemed as harassment under the Equality Act 2010. It would need to be well argued but if you replaced "women" with a group from another protected characteristic such as "race" and had black people flanking instead you can see the point more clearly because we're socially conditioned to see sexism and the objectification of women as a lesser issue than racism at this current point in our social development. Both are an issue and both are unacceptable.

Timeywimey8 · 05/10/2017 10:07

If the HR director is a woman what makes you think she wouldn't talk to you about this if you emailed her about it?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 05/10/2017 10:12

Respect is useful but also see if you have a bullying and harassment policy or equality and diversity

It fails miserably on that grounds. I wish OP could say what the company is so I can avoid using it.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/10/2017 10:23

What's the HR Director being a woman got to do with anything?

BitOutOfPractice · 05/10/2017 10:23

I attend a conference every year and every year at the gala dinner they have scantily clad women --hardly- dressed to fit in with the theme. Every year it makes me cringe. Every year I mention it on the feedback form. Ugh. It's so embarrassing - as are the blokes getting their picture taken with them. I definitely respect anyone a lot less who does that.

Slimthistime · 05/10/2017 10:24

I think this is hideous and it def doesn't pass the Daily Mail test

I would probably ask around in case it's meant to be some kind of spoof and then go from there.

Shemozzle · 05/10/2017 10:27

That's disgusting. I would write an official letter of complaint. Make it anonymous if you think you need to.

mincepiewithbrandy · 05/10/2017 11:19

That’s absolutely horrifying to hear that shit’s going down in the workplace in 20 fucking 17!!!!!!!!!

What a tit. Creepy, degrading and EWWW

Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 13:12

I'm a whimp. I asked someone what they thought and they didn't think it was a movie spoof but they did seem to thibk that the women did a dance of some sort. Not sure if this makes it better or worse. I dont recall a performance but was cringing so much I might have blocked it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 13:13

Anyone want to have a guess at the company?

OP posts:
Danceswithwarthogs · 05/10/2017 13:17

I've always wondered why this happens at the end of the grand prix. ... decorative women!?

Slimthistime · 05/10/2017 14:12

my guesses

Protein World
Car company
Finance company