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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is crass and shouldn't happen again.

87 replies

Fixthis · 04/10/2017 18:32

At work we hold an annual conference for managers and assistant managers. So about 1,200 employees attend. It is the usual thing, updates about the company plan and sharing the good news stories and making people feel part of something bigger.

Each of the most senior business leaders have a slot and generally all try to make it fun or interesting. For example one sets theirs up like a talk show. Each year a certain one of them choses to come on to stage flanked by models in little clothing. Nothing else. They don't perform or even talk that just stand either side of him and music plays as he comes in.

I instantly thought, eewww and why. To me the message is is giving to 1,200 employees is that women are there to look at and no more. Certainly that is the only roll thoes particular women have.

To be clear, we don't work in an industry that is at all related to beauty/fashion/modelling.

It makes me feel really embarrassed to work for the company. The guy has since been promoted and there is speculation in the office if he will do the same this year or if his replacement to his old job will 'get the honour'.

I think is is pathetic and sends a terrible message. AIBU?

OP posts:
grannytomine · 04/10/2017 19:44

Oh dear, I don't know how you don't laugh at him. He's an idiot.

Original poster
Fixthis · 04/10/2017 19:49

But he is so senior and all the other top bosses were there so is there really any pint in talking to someone? Everyone knows and so clearly don't mind/care.

Maybe there was some kind of refrence or context that I didn't get?

OP posts:
IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 04/10/2017 19:52

Ewwwwww

I'd make a complaint, to who, I don't know, as I've never worked in a big company. But there must be someone you can complain to.

BossyBitch · 04/10/2017 19:53

Everyone knows and so clearly don't mind/care.

They might or might not. But here's the thing about top bosses: they're only human, too, and they have squabbles and conflicts among themselves (usually not immediately obvious to lower levels). There are bound to be a couple who dislike the person in question and/or want to win some cock waving contest against them.

If the by-the-book method (as suggested by myself and other posters) doesn't pan out, go for the manipulative plan B: find his enemies, leverage their dislike.

pinkcardi · 04/10/2017 19:55

If you didn't want to report it officially, how about something more public but anonymous.

I would probably post a 1 star review on glassdoor, with a pithy title about semi-naked women and a 1970s attitude. It's anonymous and you are only stating fact. I'd imagine that would get HRs attention pretty quickly!

Deathraystare · 04/10/2017 19:59

In the 80's a company I worked for had a competition for one of their workers to win a photo session with a page 3 girl. Clearly only aimed at the men!

FeeLock28 · 04/10/2017 19:59

I think it's time your HR department took its responsibilities under the Equality Acts a little more seriously. Suggest you have a detailed discussion with them - there should be a dignity at work policy, too.

JessiCake · 04/10/2017 20:01

Ugh that sounds absolutely fucking awful tbh.

YADNBU at ALL

thedevilinablackdress · 04/10/2017 20:09

Wonder what your company's customers and shareholders would make of it. Mind boggling. Are there (m)any women at the senior management level?

Springishere0 · 04/10/2017 20:13

Horribly sexist. You could file a complaint with HR?

OlennasWimple · 04/10/2017 20:15

Complain to the HR Department that it is degrading to women. Point out that in the event of a sexual harassment claim or claim under equalities legislation that women are not treated as well as men, this could (and should!) be used as evidence against them during any tribunal hearing.

thenightsky · 04/10/2017 20:16

Fucking hell. In this day and age?

Does he have a pirelli calendar on his office wall too?

Twat.

TheMasterNotMargarita · 04/10/2017 20:24

Are there no female leaders you could approach?
Perhaps they could be carried in on a litter by scantily clad men just to make a show of how ridiculous it is. I'm sure he'd probably be one of the first to complain.

CatsOclock · 04/10/2017 20:27

I think this tells you all you need to know about your company and how women are really viewed in it.

Inertia · 04/10/2017 20:30

There must be somebody in HR with responsibility for meeting the company's equality requirements. Do HR management attend the conference?

Flopjustwantscoffee · 04/10/2017 20:41

Wow. He company is massively stupid for letting this continue. Problem is, all it takes is for the company to get in the media for something else that's negative (regardless of the business that's always a risk) and a video of that performance will get leaked and it blow up... think about the coverage that incredibly cheesy G4S corporate song got around the time G4S fucked up over the olympics and that was just cringeworthy, not actually offensive. Or the way the (sleazy) Uber head's past comments were picked over when Uber started getting into trouble for other things. Anyone senior with a brain would want to nip this in the bud now...

RideOn · 04/10/2017 20:47

YANBU, very crass

Original poster
Fixthis · 04/10/2017 20:55

HR certainly do attend. I might try to feel out the situation with a few people. Im not at the main office often though so opportunity many not come.

It really does make me doubt that it is as good a company as many people think. It actually fairs pretty damn well on the likes of glassdoor.

I hadn't considered putting a comment on there so thanks for the suggestion.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 04/10/2017 21:08

If there's a code of conduct or anything like that, check what it days. At the very least, it sounds like it needs updating; if it's not in there that doesn't make it okay, it means it needs updating to reflect stuff like the Equality Act and Dignity at Work and so on.

We're another place where that sort of thing would be career-ending.

Jux · 04/10/2017 22:12

Make an anonymous complaint in writing, I mean type it on paper not email! Something about how you hope there won't be any repeats of his inappropriate showmanship this year.

I bet there are lots of people who were shocked but who feel, just as you do, that he's so senior they can't say anything.

pallisers · 05/10/2017 00:03

The question is should I try to bring it up with someone? What would you all do?

I would request a meeting with a senior person in HR - ideally a senior woman with clout but otherwise a man who has demonstrated some sense of understanding that he lives in the 21st century. I would dress in my most kick-ass serious suit. I would be terribly grave. I would tell them you are concerned about this happening every year. That it is on the face of it sexist and demeaning to women and you are very concerned about the effect this would have on the company's brand and stock price if it were ever to reach the newspapers or even be talked about outside of the company. Tell him/her that you are also concerned about the subliminal message it is sending woman about their role in the company and worry that it may be cited someday in a lawsuit alleging bias against women.

Don't mention you are personally uncomfortable - just stress that any reasonable woman would draw conclusions from it and any reasonable daily mail reader would love to read this shit about their company and it could have a terrible consequence. Make it about bottom line which is the only thing these fuckers understand.

As you leave suggest the entire HR department fire itself as it is clearly incompetent and irrelevant (don't do that)

BananaInPyjama · 05/10/2017 00:23

Raise it as offensive and inappropriate!

In my 20s I worked in energy industry which had loads of money to squander . An event for all members of the industry had women employed (who were basically escorts) to wander round and chat to the men.
All the women employees from many different companies were horrified- esp as some of the men were confused who were offering 'services' and who were peers.
Company who arranged it apologised and it was never repeated.
Horrendous behaviour especially in 2017.

ReanimatedSGB · 05/10/2017 00:33

IS there a woman at senior level who might be willing to come on stage with a bunch of half-naked men crawling after her? Or, perhaps, a mixed group of performers who will sing a cheesy song about her wonderfulness and the company's wonderfulness?

If this chap's annual presentation really consists of him walking onstage with a couple of female performers doing a big 'Oh Look At Mr Wonderful' - and nothing else, then perhaps getting other employees to put forward loads of other suggestions for the annual event, such as the big dicks abseiling down from the chandelier, or being accompanied onto the platform by a giant sentient cheese, or everyone dressing up as Daleks or something. Sometimes making people look really fucking stupid is a good way of winning a battle like this...

Pretenditsaplan · 05/10/2017 02:32

Not condoning it in the slightest but if some managers do a 'talk show' type presentation maybe hes going for the 'wrestling' aesthetic beautiful ladies, loud theme song, is there a smoke machine?

Original poster
Fixthis · 05/10/2017 06:22

Pret that is what i wonder. Maybe it was some kind of film spoof I misunderstood. Definitely not wrestling. Maybe Bond?

I will ask people if the was supposed to be something like that. Still not amazing but it would have context.

I'm fairly sure our HR board director is female. I would never be granted a meeting with her though.

OP posts: