Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you have a 'best friend'....

98 replies

HoldingBay · 04/10/2017 14:10

... it sounds like you're at primary school.

I know a few people who refer to their 'best friend'. Maybe it's just me, but I can't help but think it makes them sound like a child.

Why not just call them a close friend? What happens if they start to drift apart from their best friend, at what point do they suddenly stop being the 'best friend' and do they need to bagsy another one quick?

Disclaimer: I only have a few real friends, some are closer than others, and none really qualify for a 'best friend' so I may well be envious!

OP posts:
NotAgainYoda · 04/10/2017 16:30

Notreallyarsed

I am so sorry. When I read your post I thought about my friend and how I'd feel

Milena1979 · 04/10/2017 16:36

Hi Everyone,
My brother in law is due to get married in two weeks time. My sister in law to be has had 2 hen do's which I found out about from Facebook posts and hasn't bothered to invite me to any of them. She had initially told my mother in law that she wasn't going to have any.
I don't know what has caused that hostility towards me.

I have always tried to make her feel welcome in my house and my in laws house. I have noticed that she has never made any effort to even have any conversation with me if we have attended same event. On couple of occasions we have been to her mum's house so that we can meet other of their relatives but they have not made any effort to talk to me which I find very frustrating and feel left out. I'm generally quiet and shy around people but I always make an effort to hold conversation when I'm included. Their behavior seems very odd and most of the conversation they have is around who works what job and how much wealth they have.

They are now going to have registry wedding this Saturday which we have been invited to followed by lunch at her mum's house. I don't mind going to the registry but I'm dreading going to her mum's house . My husband is of the same opinion as he basically cant stand them any more.
Is it me or something fishy is going on here :-(

Milena1979 · 04/10/2017 16:37

sorry wrong thread

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/10/2017 16:53

I refer to my friend of 30 years as my best friend and even when we are both 80 and sour faced bitches, she'll still be my best friend.

lozzylizzy · 04/10/2017 16:59

Meh, I have a best friend. We've known each other for 37 years. She just is my best mate, it's like an unassailable fact. We can be extremely childish though, so maybe that's why it works ;)

@Jjou

Me too!

packofshunts · 04/10/2017 17:01

I have friends that constantly refer to their ‘best friend’. As an adult I think it sounds really proprietal and implies some sort of friendship pecking order Confused

RoseWhiteTips · 04/10/2017 17:05

Some people say "bestie" so they must be familiar with the concept of a best friend. It is pretty cringeworthy, tbh.

goingonabearhunt1 · 04/10/2017 17:05

I feel a tiny bit jealous of people who have a 'best' friend; I haven't had one since primary school (we're still friends but not close like that anymore). I have one from the start of secondary and we're still pretty close but not like that still.

I don't seem to have been able to have that kind of relationship since I was younger. I have several friends but I'm not sure how close I am to any of them TBH. Maybe I'm just anti-social.

yeahforfriday · 04/10/2017 17:06

I have a best friend who I went to school with (we are now in our 40's). She has a group of best friends (outside of me) who she grew up in the same close as (3 of them). I have 2 other really close friends who each have their own best friend. My sister - who is older than me has a best friend and my mom has a best friend (who recently passed away).

I don't know any women who don't have best friends - maybe it's a regional thing and how its phrased when you are growing up?

Dogsmom · 04/10/2017 17:07

I have a best friend (we're both 42) and I'm proud to call her that, we've known each other since school and been through so much, I feel incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful person as a friend and don't care if people think it's childish to call her a best friend.
It's a totally different relationship to that with general friends.

tippz · 04/10/2017 17:08

People on mumsnet are always sneery about the term best friend. I think they're probably jealous tbh otherwise why would you care

This ^

Jealousy is a nasty trait.

Notreallyarsed · 04/10/2017 17:24

@NotAgainYoda thank you

wheresthel1ght · 04/10/2017 17:36

I have a best friend, oi refer to her as such as her me. We have been friends since school. She is far closer than any of my other friends, more like family. She is the one I don't have to tell something is up because she just knows and vice versa.

Yes we both have other friends and we both have friends we are very close to but the bond is not the same.

I genuinely don't understand why so many people have such an issue with it.

LadyWire · 04/10/2017 18:13

I'm in my 40s and have a best friend, also in her 40s. We met in our late teens and clicked. I have other friends but she's my bestie! We don't really have any mutual friends - our time together is just us (apart from our DPs) luckily get on quite well with each other. Nobody knows me as well as she does, not even my DP, and I know stuff about her that nobody else knows. I don't know why people would find it odd. We just met and liked each other a lot!

SilverySurfer · 04/10/2017 18:38

I have a best friend and we have been friends for 53 years so I'm not sure what else I would call her?

Fauchelevent · 04/10/2017 18:50

I refer to two girls as my best friend, I have known them for years, can rely on them as they can me, we have a lot of history. I will occasionally refer to one or two other friends in this way. I don’t really care how it sounds, they are my best friends and saying “one of my closest friends” to me would be to refer to other close friends but who i may have shared less history with.

OnTheSherry · 04/10/2017 18:52

I have two best friends. I've been friends with them both since childhood and we have gone through our entire cult lives together, ups and downs, marriages/divorces/births/deaths, moving abroad, moving back, the lot.

They're my BEST friends. I don't give a toss if that 'offends' anyone when I say it.

OnTheSherry · 04/10/2017 18:53

adult lives - no cults involved Grin

Steeley113 · 04/10/2017 19:02

I have a group of 'best friends'. They're the people who I know I can rely on, will drop what they are doing if I need them and I will for them. I've known them all varying time scales from 20 years to 2 years but I know I can depend on them all the same. I feel sorry for people who don't have friends like that in their life 🙁

Lelloteddy · 04/10/2017 19:03

Do the people who have such huge issues about the terminology other people apply to their friends have trouble establishing or maintaining friendships themselves? Seems like an odd thing to give head space to.

Mamabear4180 · 04/10/2017 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 04/10/2017 19:03

I have a couple of friends I think of as best, we've really gone above & beyond for each other in the past and I know I can talk to them about anything.

The phrase I find irritating is "good friend". Is a good friend the opposite of a bad friend?

MidnightAura · 04/10/2017 19:19

I don't mind the term best friend.

I hate the term besties. That to me sounds childish!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread