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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends mum evicting her from home ..who is being unreasonable?

123 replies

Whatloversdo34 · 03/10/2017 18:10

6 years ago my friends mum took out a mortgage for a property and my friend moved in with her family in the understanding she paid £450 a month to her mother and her mother paid the mortgage ..once it was all paid the house would b signed over to my friend.

15 months ago my friend fell out with her mother and stopped paying rent.
She now owes her mother £8600.
Her mother has been in touch with solicitor and has been issued with eviction notice.
If she doesn't leave (which she won't) her mum will be taking her to court and she will be evicted (probably take 4 months)
Who's in the wrong?
Her mother would see her daughter on the street with 2 kids.
My friend has spent £7000 on new kitchen/bathroom.
The last year she has been able to afford holidays /lovely house decor (obviously as she isn't paying rent)
Who is being unreasonable ?

OP posts:
ArbitraryName · 03/10/2017 18:47

I agree too. This is a really clear case of unreasonableness.

It's actually even worse that your friend has tried to pretend she's somehow the wronged party. She (and her partner) will be responsible for their lack of housing, not her mother.

Redglitter · 03/10/2017 18:47

Your friend should be ashamed of herself she's been living rent free and expects there to be no consequences? My sympathy is totally with her mum

Witsender · 03/10/2017 18:49

She spent the money presumably because the house was to become hers.

TammySwansonTwo · 03/10/2017 18:50

She's lucky the house hasn't already been repossessed. The mum is just expected to keep paying the mortgage without the daughter paying rent, because they "fell out"? Fuck no. She's absolutely taking the piss. And if she's not paying the rent she should have nearly £9k saved up so there should be no chance of her being "out on the street". She's lucky the mum hasn't just let the mortgage company take the house. It's unacceptable to not pay rent (unless the property is uninhabitable), she wouldn't get away with it with a landlord, why is she happy to put her mother in such an awful financial mess? Just reading this makes me furious.

PoppyPopcorn · 03/10/2017 18:50

I can see both sides

Both sides to what, not paying your rent and costing your mum a substantial amount, leading to mum being forced to evict? Yes, of course Mum should just suck it up and let her irresponsible daughter live there rent free. Hmm

Bluntness100 · 03/10/2017 18:51

Agree there comes a time when you stop expecting your parents to provide a roof over your head. If she fell out with her mum she should have moved out. She basically tried to steal a house from her and relied on the blood connection to emotionally black Mail her mother to let it continue.

I also feel sorry for the kids that they have parents who do this. It’s basically theft.

Bubblebubblepop · 03/10/2017 18:55

It's only £450 a month. Your friend sounds like a brat.

LadyWire · 03/10/2017 18:55

Is this a joke? Tennant doesn't pay rent for months and is in danger of getting evicted. Doesn't matter who the landlord is!

picklemepopcorn · 03/10/2017 18:58

The mum was helping the DD by getting her on the housing ladder. That was a huge support, and should have been appreciated. If your friend fell out with her mum and didn't want to be dependent on her, say if the mum was being controlling, then the DD needed to move out and be independent, not use her mum's money to buy a kitchen and have a holiday.

FrancisCrawford · 03/10/2017 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BewareOfDragons · 03/10/2017 19:07

Your friend is completely in the wrong.

And now she appears to have fucked up her children's future over it: no home to speak of and debt.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 03/10/2017 19:09

Are you joking?

Your friend sounds like a complete moron. She is incredibly lucky that her Mum helped her with the mortgage in the first place, and now she is being so rude. What did she expect would happen? She would just live for free forever? What an absolute idiot.

CatsOclock · 03/10/2017 19:12

Was the disagreement over who should pay to renovate the bathroom?

Normally, you'd expect the LL to pay for that but it's tricky in this situation. I'm wondering if your friend thought she'd get it done and pay for that instead of the rent, but her mum didn't agree??

SprinklesandIcecream · 03/10/2017 19:14

So your friend has left her mum to pay two mortgages for two years? Your friend IBVU regardless of the reason for the fall out. And if she's not disclosing it, my bet's on the fact it probably largely is her fault.

Good on her mum to get the property back through the courts and hopefully can recoup some of the costs involved in this mess her own daughter has left her in.

CobwebKitten · 03/10/2017 19:14

She stopped paying rent. The end.

People who stop paying rent become evicted tenants. No sob story. You don't pay, you can't keep the goods.

SprinklesandIcecream · 03/10/2017 19:16

Yes CatsOClock but in that case the landlord has usually been charging more than just the mortgage and is benefitting financially. If OP's friend is paying just the mortgage, and also receiving the property at the end of it, why should the mum fund a new bathroom at her expense?

Taylor22 · 03/10/2017 19:16

You're friend is the ultimate cheeky fucker.

And a poor mother. Because it's her fault her children are about to be evicted. And it's not even through bad circumstances. If going by what you've said is true. It's because she's a bit of a shit.

So again. If those are the facts. There aren't two sides.
Just one absolute bell end.

RaininSummer · 03/10/2017 19:19

Your friend is a fool. Poor mother.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/10/2017 19:20

Normally, you'd expect the LL to pay for that but it's tricky in this situation. I'm wondering if your friend thought she'd get it done and pay for that instead of the rent, but her mum didn't agree??

So instead of being adult about it the friend completely stops paying anything for at least 2 years.

Sorry not buying it.

The friend is in the wrong.

tiggytape · 03/10/2017 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LellyMcKelly · 03/10/2017 19:28

Your friend is lucky that she's managed to last that long in a house without paying rent. A commercial landlord would have had her kicked out months ago. I can't believe she's done that to her own mother. That's taking the piss big style.

khajiit13 · 03/10/2017 19:31

Your 'friends' behaviour is disgusting. This situation is of her own making and the position she has put her mum in is vile. You can't just stop paying your rent FFS, mother or not. The kitchen/bathroom is irrelevant unless it was pretty arranged and the mother agreed to a drop in rent. Otherwise if she didn't like the kitchen/bathroom she would have been free to move else where.

I really feel for her mum. My mum's partner has done similar for his daughter and she won't pay rent. It really upsets him. He's such a kind man and he can't see how she's turned into this person who just takes takes takes. He isn't looking to kick her out but I think he bloody well should.

SophoclesTheFox · 03/10/2017 19:33

Her mum has a few business and from what I know is quite wealthy

Urgh, how I loathe the attitude of "You have money, so I don't need to feel bad about living off you or ripping you off, because you can afford it". That was my ex husband's life philosophy. EX husband for just that reason.

I couldn't be friends with such a person if they expected me to take their side. Not at all. I can't see what "side" she can present in her defence.

Anecdoche · 03/10/2017 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NobbyNobberson · 03/10/2017 19:35

Your friend should be ashamed of herself.

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