Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends mum evicting her from home ..who is being unreasonable?

123 replies

Whatloversdo34 · 03/10/2017 18:10

6 years ago my friends mum took out a mortgage for a property and my friend moved in with her family in the understanding she paid £450 a month to her mother and her mother paid the mortgage ..once it was all paid the house would b signed over to my friend.

15 months ago my friend fell out with her mother and stopped paying rent.
She now owes her mother £8600.
Her mother has been in touch with solicitor and has been issued with eviction notice.
If she doesn't leave (which she won't) her mum will be taking her to court and she will be evicted (probably take 4 months)
Who's in the wrong?
Her mother would see her daughter on the street with 2 kids.
My friend has spent £7000 on new kitchen/bathroom.
The last year she has been able to afford holidays /lovely house decor (obviously as she isn't paying rent)
Who is being unreasonable ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatloversdo34 · 03/10/2017 18:26

They both in assuming had bad credit and he is self employed I think.
When I said I could see both sides I meant I couldn't imagine my mum kicking me out BUT no way in a million years after my mum helped me would I drop her in the shit and throw a good deed back in her face.

OP posts:
Whinesalot · 03/10/2017 18:27

There are not two 'sides" for you to see in this. Your friend has not upheld her part of the deal. Why should mum pay the whole mortgage on a house she wouldn't have bought were it not for helping out your friend. And even if she would have bought it as an investment, she is not seeing a return on that investment now your friend has stopped paying, and anyway she may just not be able to afford it if she has other irons in the fire which is costing her money.

SilverySurfer · 03/10/2017 18:27

Whatloversdo34
Her mother would see her daughter on the street with 2 kids.

No, your friend has done that by not paying as agreed. I think the arrangement they had was very generous to your friend and now she has blown it. It's entirely of her own making and of course she is very unreasonable. I'm amazed if you think otherwise.

Time to stand on her own two feet, like most adults do.

Original poster
Whatloversdo34 · 03/10/2017 18:27

I know her mother is taking her to court for outstanding rent too..she's been served with a section 8 (might be wrong )

OP posts:
Somerford · 03/10/2017 18:31

Your friend's mother isn't at fault for your friend and her children being out on the street. Your friend, from what you've said, has the resources to pay the agreed amount but has chosen not to. I'm not sure what she expects in terms of an outcome here. Does she imagine that she can withhold payment for the rest of her life on the grounds that her mother shouldn't see her out on the street? It's absurd and she is entirely responsible for the situation in which she finds herself I'm afraid. Fall out or no fall out, she needs to pay her bills and fulfil her obligations under the terms of the agreement. It looks very simple to me unless I've missed something.

Crispsheets · 03/10/2017 18:34

Your friend is a dreadful daughter.
Taking advantage of her mother. What a bitch.

Witsender · 03/10/2017 18:34

I'm not entirely sure what two sides there could be tbh, unless the mother wasn't keeping up her side of some bargain/contract, which it doesn't sound like.

This doesn't speak highly as to your friend's character, I'd be looking askance at her.

FuzzyCustard · 03/10/2017 18:34

I'm applauding the mother for having the bravery to see this through the courts. that must break her heart...but your friend is the instigator of the nastiness and should be thoroughly ashamed of her behaviour.
As a PP said, if she fell out with her mother to that extent, she should have moved out of the house - certainly not be taking her for a ride as she is now. I'm not even sure I would want to continue being friends with someone who thinks nice holidays are an ok thing to do instead of paying her debts.

Original poster
Whatloversdo34 · 03/10/2017 18:34

No everything everyone says is correct.
I just feel sad for the two kids involved

OP posts:
ChicRock · 03/10/2017 18:35

If I had a "friend" doing this to her own mother I think I'd seriously reevaluate the friendship, I'd have to, because I'd think my "friend" was a total cunt.

WorraLiberty · 03/10/2017 18:35

I feel sad for the two kids involved too.

Sad that their own mother has refused to pay any rent, and has deliberately made them homeless.

What sort of parent does that??

BritInUS1 · 03/10/2017 18:36

Your friend is wrong

Why has she spent so much on the property without an agreement from the landlord (her Mum)?

elessar · 03/10/2017 18:37

OP this is all very clear.

If the mother was remotely in the wrong, your friend would have told you what happened in the argument.

And to be honest, regardless of who was at fault in the falling out, your friend cannot just opt out of paying rent. She deserves to be thrown out.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 03/10/2017 18:37

Of course your friend is in the wrong. Her DM will have had to pay the mortgage after the "falling out". Exactly how long does her friend expect her to be able to do that? And then what? Still hand over the deeds to the property at the end? I don't think so!

It sounds as though it will be for the best for everyone if your friend and her partner rent their own place. They need to seriously grow up & realise that actions have serious consequences! Nobody is responsible for putting a roof over their DCs heads but themselves.

They may even find it hard to secure council/social housing, as it could well be deemed that they have made themselves intentionally homeless by failing to pay rent they could afford.

gunsandbanjos · 03/10/2017 18:39

I agree with the general consensus that your friend is at fault.

I feel very sorry for the children that their own mother is intentionally putting them through an eviction.

Italiangreyhound · 03/10/2017 18:42

Your friend.

But really they both need to go to mediation or voluntary counselling now and speak to mortgage company and salvage this mess.

"Emotional side says -it's your daughter and grandkids,your own flesh and blood." BUT the mum has not changed the situation, the daughter has! The daughter stopped paying. Why?

The original plan was very generous by the mum and her daughter should have been happy. If issues arose both parties should make every effort to resolve them. But not stop paying rent.

The worst scenario will be your friend has to rent elsewhere or does indeed end up on the street or in emergency housing, and all because your friend could not resolve an issue!

pasturesgreen · 03/10/2017 18:43

Your friend shouldn't have stopped paying rent, but the fact it's gone to court is actually pretty depressing for all involved.

thatdearoctopus · 03/10/2017 18:44

Well, I suppose one could maybe view the £7K for the kitchen could count in partial lieu of rent.

But your friend has behaved appallingly and I'm perplexed as to how you say you can see both sides of this.

PurplePillowCase · 03/10/2017 18:45

your friend is being massively unreasonable.
even if there was a dispute.
at most, under very exceptional circumstances, rent can be reduced. but not to pay at all and then not to keep the money aside to pay

Witsender · 03/10/2017 18:45

Where is the partner in this? Why haven't they coughed up?

Booboobooboo84 · 03/10/2017 18:46

Your friend is a grade a twunt. Her mothers financial situation is no business of hers and has no bearing on her need to pay rent

Urubu · 03/10/2017 18:46

Am struggling to understand how you can "see both sided", clearly daughter is wrong, in which way is the mother wrong?? She isn't throwing out her daughter who is unable to pay rent because of work problems / medical problems / etc, she is throwing out her daughter who chose to not pay rent and use the money for leisure...

Starlight2345 · 03/10/2017 18:46

I don't see what the 2 sides are...

Friend did not pay the rent so is now been evicted..
The children been homeless is based on the thousands of pounds rent arreas cause by their mum not paying the rent.

Who is at fault for the falling out is irrelevant in this case.. What did she think she wouldn't pay any rent for the next 20 years and then her mum could sign the house over to her.

Urubu · 03/10/2017 18:46

sides not sided...

Viviennemary · 03/10/2017 18:47

So your friend has spent £7000 improving a house that she doesn't own and belongs to her mother. Why? This is all very odd indeed.

Swipe left for the next trending thread