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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To challenge you all to name a stupider co-worker than mine?

184 replies

BossyBitch · 02/10/2017 19:24

I'm a project manager and have recently had a new person join the team. They need to be given various user accounts and access privileges, and there's a system for requesting all that.

I delegated the task of requesting all the stuff to one of my team supervisors - he might not be the brightest crayon in the box but the whole procedure consists of filling in a web-based form, uploading a passport picture and hitting the 'submit' button. What could possibly go wrong, right?

Imagine my reaction when I got an e-mail requesting that, in my function as the new joiner's manager, I supply a passport picture ...

... as opposed to the phone snapshot of an actual passport that my genius co-worker had sent to them!

And, no, he wasn't taking the piss, he actually is that bloody thick! Angry

Please tell me there's worse out there!

OP posts:
potatoscowls · 02/10/2017 23:39

donajimena yeah im autistic and i think its really nasty

Cinderllaspinkdresswasthebest · 02/10/2017 23:44

*LaurieFairyCake Mon 02-Oct-17 19:29:14
‘More stupid’

Stupider isn’t a word. So maybe, you? grin*

Hehe this made me chuckle! awkwaaard! Grin

As you were Brew

WalkingInMyShoes · 02/10/2017 23:47

New colleague asked me if I wanted a tea or coffee. Was concentrating on my work and just replied yes please - I only ever drink tea and thought she would know what my round usually was.
5 minutes later a hot cup of coffee was placed on my desk.
With a tea bag in it.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 02/10/2017 23:59

Bossy I am way too shit at Excel to understand that! I have put together many a seemingly complex workbook in the past, but given the skills of some of my former colleagues I've not had to do much to make it look like magic. I cringe to think of someone who actually knows what they're doing ever looking at how I've got them to work.

They do work though (unlike my SQL).

I don't work in software, thankfully Grin

iwishicouldtapdance · 03/10/2017 00:00

Office junior was tasked with sending out questionnaires which had a reply slip with our return address at the bottom of the letter. They were sent out in window envelopes and the idea was that the relevant boxes could be ticked and the questionnaires could then be refolded with our address showing and returned, also in a window envelope. Yup, all 90 of them came back blank as they had been sent out with our return address showing because said office junior had folded all of the the letters incorrectly so that they went out with the return address showing instead of that of the addressee...

Yes, 'twas me. Guilty as charged m'lud Blush

napmeistergeneral · 03/10/2017 00:36

Office "accounts manager" (no qualifications) could not use excel. Did not understand you could use it to add up. So would input figures into cells, add up using calculator, then input total into another cell. Much like computer's colleagues.

Once he managed to select a cell, didn't know how to deselect. Asks me how to get rid of these "marching ant things".

Useless, useless, lazy, no desire to learn or improve and not even a nice person to make up for it.

BoysofMelody · 03/10/2017 00:52

One of my colleagues was stupid enough to start a readily identifiable thread on the internet about me on a parenting website which led to disciplinary action for workplace bullying.

As you were op

ErrolTheDragon · 03/10/2017 01:11

1) Create a spreadsheet with all numbers within the reasonably concievanble range
2) Derive the Cartesian product for said set of numbers
3) Calculate the sum for each pairing just ONCE
4) Use advanced magic (a.k.a. "Index-Match-Match") to pull the pre-calculated result

A techie would rather write a little bit of code than muck around with excelGrin

OP, venting on an anonymous forum seems like a good way to deal with the stress of managing an incompetent colleague. A boss of mine once sent a note complaining about someone ineffective at a different site by fax.... no prizes for guessing who happened to be passing the machine as it emerged. It was a bit awkward, but the useless guy had the grace to take the hint and quit.

innagazing · 03/10/2017 01:12

If he's being difficult and trying to claim from your pension, then it seems right that you stake a claim in the second property abroad. If nothing else, this must provide some leverage with which to bargain?
Why don't you suggest to your children that they pay you the 'keep' money instead, in recognition that he is stalling the process and you have to pay rental expenses.

NameChangeFamousFolk · 03/10/2017 01:25

I'm bloody glad I'm self-employed these days.

Pivoine · 03/10/2017 01:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ememem84 · 03/10/2017 01:57

A non work one from me. When I was at my booking appointment with the midwife I had to fill in a form which asked for “ name of mother” I dutifully wrote my mums name. The midwife looked confused. Turns out she needed MY name.... in my defence first baby...! Haha

73kittycat73 · 03/10/2017 02:00

I have also made a huge error of judgment in the doctors where my GP told me to put one hand on my baby's head and one on his stomach so I used the baby's hands . It turned out he meant mine so he could look in his throat.

Oh I'm sorry but that did have me lolling! Grin

73kittycat73 · 03/10/2017 02:01

*Lol'ing

EBearhug · 03/10/2017 02:03

Colleague: Want anything from the shop?
Me: Dairy Milk please
(Ten minutes later)
Colleague I got you a pint of dairy milk. Is that enough?
Me: I meant chocolate, not milk...

I did this at the airport last year, on my way out to France to stay with a friend. It seemed logical to me, as last time I had been to France (admittedly 1980s) I only remembered UHT.

I texted to say I'd got milk, and I was quite surprised you could get it at the airport.

Fortunately, there was still time to get a big bar of Cadbury's.

73kittycat73 · 03/10/2017 02:05

Not work but a few months ago one of the movie channels was showing Christmas films for Christmas in July. My mum asked, "How long are they on for?"
I replied, "About an hour, hour and a half."
Of course she ment how many days/weeks. Doh! [groin]

73kittycat73 · 03/10/2017 02:07

Groin?!! Grin obviously. (I should just give up and go to bed shouldn't I?)

TiesThatBindMe · 03/10/2017 02:09

Well just imagine....

daisychain01 · 03/10/2017 02:32

but I've never been anything less than patient and kind with him IRL

One of the classic characteristics of workplace bullying is to rationalise, justify and deny any wrong doing.

You're obviously so confident in your own perfection, you needed to create a thread to gloat. Not a nice thread.

daisychain01 · 03/10/2017 02:37

OP, venting on an anonymous forum seems like a good way to deal with the stress of managing an incompetent colleague

This is a Project Manager who is meant to have people skills. That shouldn't involve potentially outing the person - "anonymous forum" is a fallacy, its the Internet and very public.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 03/10/2017 02:47

Agreed Daisy

I got laughed at and called thick for calling this thread and OPs attitude bullying by er, bullies Grin

donajimena · 03/10/2017 08:56

73kitty:thats fine. It was bloody hilarious. I even posted a thread about it. But imagine if my GP posted rell me about your stupidest patient and then posted about me. Horrible thread.

nakedscientist · 03/10/2017 09:38

To be fair, if it asked for a passport picture, colleague was literally correct. It should be better worded, as "supply passport sized photograph".
Most people would not misinterpret this but as a manager, you do have to cater for everyone and give clear instructions.
I think its OK to have an affectionate laugh with the person, we all do daft things and I love laughing at myself.

5rivers7hills · 03/10/2017 10:09

@BossyBitch how come you can’t get rid of him?

@Fluffypinkpyjamas bore off if you havent got anything funny to add - we get it, we get it, you think is mean to laugh about someone doing something stupid.

You have virtue signalled how freaking amazing you are and how it’s your life calling to coach stupid people to greatness. Well done you.

OhThisbloodyComputer · 03/10/2017 10:35

@daisychain01

At my work, there's a Project Manager who has all the sensitivity and patience of a Rottweiler with a nail in his foot.

And the breath to match.

Worse, she goes on the Internet to slag off the people she's supposed to be mentoring. As if she emerged from the womb with a perfect set of responses to every unknown situation and poorly worded instruction

Hey, I'm just venting here and, in the words of Bernard Manning, I'm only having a laugh

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