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AIBU?

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Original poster

To challenge you all to name a stupider co-worker than mine?

184 replies

BossyBitch · 02/10/2017 19:24

I'm a project manager and have recently had a new person join the team. They need to be given various user accounts and access privileges, and there's a system for requesting all that.

I delegated the task of requesting all the stuff to one of my team supervisors - he might not be the brightest crayon in the box but the whole procedure consists of filling in a web-based form, uploading a passport picture and hitting the 'submit' button. What could possibly go wrong, right?

Imagine my reaction when I got an e-mail requesting that, in my function as the new joiner's manager, I supply a passport picture ...

... as opposed to the phone snapshot of an actual passport that my genius co-worker had sent to them!

And, no, he wasn't taking the piss, he actually is that bloody thick! Angry

Please tell me there's worse out there!

OP posts:
Fluffypinkpyjamas · 02/10/2017 20:23

This reply has been deleted

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londonista · 02/10/2017 20:23

I worked at a restaurant for a while and the bar manager who was a massive twat / david Brent type, went to blow out a candle, very theatrically, as was his style, and the melted waxed blew out and into his face.

He wasn’t hurt (just pride) but it did boggle the mind that he didn’t seem to understand the basic physics of handling a pot of melted wax...

Witchend · 02/10/2017 20:23

An odd one on the subjects of passports.
Dd1's just applied for her provisional licence as she'll shortly be 17yo.
On the form you could tick the box to say use the passport photo. So she did that as it's easy.
Only thing is that the passport is from when she was 12yo, and the provisional licence is to last 10 years.
I told her it'll look great when she's 26yo and asked for ID to confirm her age. Grin

I think it's pretty silly to allow that. She hasn't changed dramatically so is still recognisable, but I changed hugely between 12yo and 17yo.

Piggywaspushed · 02/10/2017 20:24

It's pronounced

Y- Boston

In case you still needed to know.

Piggywaspushed · 02/10/2017 20:25

Also... on a point of order... it's a McDonalds at Wyboston...

TeachesOfPeaches · 02/10/2017 20:26

When did we start using co-worker instead of colleague?

HalloweenStar · 02/10/2017 20:29

I used to live by the A1 in Cambs and never once heard anyone pronounce Wyboston as Wibberston, that's made me smile a bit

Lanaa · 02/10/2017 20:30

@Fluffypinkpyjamas I suspect that you're one of the thick people. Unsure why you don't get that this isn't that serious.

buttonhead101 · 02/10/2017 20:32

Brightest crayon in the box? I think you mean sharpest pencil in the box or brightest penny... Someone - equally as mean as you sound - mis-used that expression to describe me once. No idea what she’s doing now, and don’t care. Meanwhile my career is great, despite not being the ‘brightest pencil/crayon in the box’. Be nicer.

Emily7708 · 02/10/2017 20:33

@londonista - it was horrendous! The guy was sacked as the company had to be seen to take it seriously. And I got a massive bollocking and was made to fly to Frankfurt to the company who had received the fax in error, collect the fax and have them sign a document saying they had not copied the document or forwarded/disclosed the contents etc. It was the draft listing particulars section of a prospectus. Thank goodness for email nowadays!

lalalalyra · 02/10/2017 20:33

I once spent over an hour in a stock cupboardas a 17yo looking for a bubble for a spirit level. In the defence of my colleagues they didn't for a single second think I'd fall for it.

expatmigrant · 02/10/2017 20:34

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SilverySurfer · 02/10/2017 20:34

LaurieFairyCake
‘More stupid’
Stupider isn’t a word. So maybe, you? grin

You beat me to it.

OP, I assume you interviewed and hired him? Hmm

M00nUnit · 02/10/2017 20:34

We had a supply teacher once who accidentally wrote on the whiteboard in permanent marker. These things happen and normally would be easily rectified by borrowing some acetone from the science department. However this teacher decided to try and get rid of the permanent marker by going over it in TIPPEX. Think she used several bottles of it. The whiteboard was never the same again, if you tried to write anywhere on the board that had Tippex on it the marks would stay there forever. It looked a right mess!

ComputerUserNotTrained · 02/10/2017 20:35

I like laughing at stupid

Any colleague of mine would be perfectly welcome to share my moments of idiocy like the time I tried to connect a USB cable to an actual, paper, notebook.

londonista · 02/10/2017 20:38

Emily oh my goodness ... you must have felt terrible! What was that idiot thinking?!

MarthaArthur · 02/10/2017 20:38

tittygolightly Thats my name. Glad to know it sounds like "brain dead".Confused

Original poster
BossyBitch · 02/10/2017 20:38

No, I am most definitely not bullying the poor sod and, quite obviously, nobody was named and shamed at the team meeting or similar.

I asked the genius in question - in private - what had prompted him to do this and explained to him why these were needed (for the building access badge, i.e. making sure that people aren't using others' access privileged to enter secured premises).

And, yes, he makes me want to scream and rip my hair out at times (this is by far not his biggest mistake - at least this one was sort of funny and didn't cost us 120k), but I've never been anything less than patient and kind with him IRL. Unfortunately for me, that's arguably why I can't get rid of the guy: His line manager thinks he does well on my project precisely because I'm one of only two of PMs who's so far managed NOT to yell at him at some point (the other one being my boss who saved his own arse by re-assigning him from his project stream to mine - I fantasise about strangling him, too!)

OP posts:
WyfOfBathe · 02/10/2017 20:38

One of my colleagues thinks that nobody should eat gluten, and regularly reprimands anyone eating a sandwich. Luckily she isn't a doctor or science teacher!

Not Always Working is a good site for wasting your time reading about things which workers do as well as Not Always Right will provide relief to anyone who has to deal with customers

SusanTheGentle · 02/10/2017 20:39

I work with a chap who is not the brightest crayon in the box. Amongst his various mishaps, he's turned the photocopiers into a sort of cornucopia of badly photocopied documents, we couldn't work out how the hell to stop what he'd done and had to pull the plug on the whole thing and call the man out.

In IRL, I and my colleagues talk to him about whatever he's done, retrain him in the thing he's messed up, he learns a bit, and we get there slowly. He's much better now.

But it's really nice to have a little tiny moan in a safe space every so often, it's a little safety valve.

I would think the people who witnessed my 'accidentally ordered 25 textbooks that can't be sent back in the wrong language' mistake probably had a moan about me, too. Mistakes happen but we can find humour in them as long as we're not being mean to the actual person.

londonista · 02/10/2017 20:39

Computer ... last week I got up in a meeting, went up to the screen on the wall and started trying to move the items with my fingers, as if it was a giant iPad. I tried to style it out but it was quite embarrassing. I don’t know what I was thinking!!

Can I still blame baby brain?!

SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals · 02/10/2017 20:42

Isn't the brightest crayon?
Are you the sharpest pencil? Totes professional Confused

WineAndTiramisu · 02/10/2017 20:42

I think some people have had a serious sense of humour failure on this thread...!

We used to send the newbies for a long wait or a left handed screwdriver, but only one guy ever fell for both!

Original poster
BossyBitch · 02/10/2017 20:42

OP, I assume you interviewed and hired him?

Nope. I'm his PM, not his line manager. Also, he was merger-and-acquisitioned - they come with T&C and can basically not be terminated under normal circumstances.

OP posts:
ComputerUserNotTrained · 02/10/2017 20:43

that day I learned how network servers work. Grin

I once wrote, very badly, and then ran in live a database query that brought back literally hundreds of millions of rows of data, crashing the company's entire system at peak time. I was very popular that day HmmGrin