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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect her to pay me before she gets the item?

88 replies

Saltandpepperpig · 02/10/2017 15:06

I'm really annoyed and don't know if IBU or not.

Went somewhere early last week which sells an item that you can't get where we live. Told my friend I was going and she asked me to get an item for her, which I did and sent her a picture of the receipt straight away.

It was expensive (£250) and I'm not well off at the moment. I got the item last Monday, I'm seeing her next Tuesday. So two weeks after buying the item.

I text her saying 'Hi X, got your item here you're free to pick it up but I'm not going to have a chance to drop it till I see you next. Would you be able to send the money over as times are hard at the moment and I'm struggling. Thanks xx'

She replied 'I'll transfer you the money when I see you when you give me the item x'

She is not hard up, AT ALL and I know this 100%. She 100% knows that I am.

So AIBU to expect her to pay me before she gets the item considering I got it as a favour to her and am struggling myself? What do I say?

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 02/10/2017 15:42
  • territory of talking about trust
rightnowimpissed · 02/10/2017 15:42

Hell YES, get the money now or take it back, and don't get stuff for anyone again, how rude is she, i would understand if she were broke and needed to wait till she got some cash in but then you probaly wouldn't buy random £250 whatever if that was the case.

What was it Op?

BritInUS1 · 02/10/2017 15:44

I'd tell her you need the money this week or you will have to take back as you need the money

Original poster
Saltandpepperpig · 02/10/2017 15:44

Thanks all, I can't return it as it's not sold near here so impossible to return.

I've sent another message saying 'sorry some bills have come out so I need the money today please. You're welcome to come and pick it up first if you want'

She hasn't replied! I won't be doing it again; I know she will pay me eventually

OP posts:
FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 02/10/2017 15:44

Is this person actually your friend? I would never speak to or treat a friend like this, she is being very rude. Regardless of how well off a person is, 250 is a lot of money.

Explain again that you need the money, you've spent it to secure the item for her & send your bank details/Paypal. Add you wouldn't have agreed to get it in the first place if you realised she wasn't going to pay you back swiftly.

MadamePomfrey · 02/10/2017 15:45

Yeah she wants to inspect the item and check it is what she wants before she pays you. If you can return it. If not is it the kind of thing that would hold its value on resale? If so put it on eBay. And I'm sure lesson learnt but no more favours for this 'friend'

FluffyNinja · 02/10/2017 15:45

250 quid? Flippin'eck, she's another right Cheeky Fecker!
She should have given you the money upfront if she wanted you to
DO HER A FAVOUR
Text her saying that if she hasn't transferred the money by 8pm you will be returning it tomorrow as you can't afford to subside her shopping whims.

Miserylovescompany2 · 02/10/2017 15:45

Agree with Jane take it to her and don't leave until she's transferred the funds!

I wouldn't put yourself out for her again...

MadamePomfrey · 02/10/2017 15:47

Very Curious as to what this item is too🤔🤔

QueenAmongstMen · 02/10/2017 15:48

I love CF threads but not when a genuinely nice person is being taken advantage of. I can't believe she hasn't given you the money, I would never want to be indebted to my friends especially if I knew they were struggling financially.

I don't think your well off friend understand how the real world works and for most of us £250 is not the kind of money we can go without.

I hope you get a reply and you get your money today Flowers

TurnipCake · 02/10/2017 15:51

The CF! She ought to be mortified by her behaviour. I'm amazed she hasn't asked for proof of life

Appuskidu · 02/10/2017 15:51

Blimey-some people really are cheeky!

LuckLuckLUCK · 02/10/2017 15:53

Maybe she just hasn't seen your message yet.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 02/10/2017 15:54

She said we should have taken more money with us!

Fuck me, that's solid brass!

Isn't it just bush ! Grin you'll not be surprised to hear we are no longer in touch Grin

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/10/2017 15:55

For that amount she should have paid you before you bought it! Effing cheek!

Greenfingers beat me to it!

There's no way I would expect someone else to shell out for something for me if it was more than a fiver - I would have offered the money up front.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/10/2017 15:57

Okay, so you can't return the item. That's fine.

Just tell her you'll sell it on eBay if she doesn't give you the money by X time/date.

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 02/10/2017 15:58

Saltandpepper do not hand over the item if she hasn't got the money with her, I bet she'd take a while to transfer it a she'll "forget"

ButchyRestingFace · 02/10/2017 15:59

Doesn’t sound like she trusts you.

In which case, she should do her own shopping. Smile

dustarr73 · 02/10/2017 16:00

Tell her you want the money and you be there at 7.30 to collect it.I would only take cash at this stage,or else its going back.

She doesnt need too know you cant take it back.Hate CF.Always taking the piss.

Mrsdraper1 · 02/10/2017 16:03

TBH I would never spend that much without getting the money up front, no matter who it is.
Lesson learned, you won't be doing that again, or even speaking to her I bet!!
YADNBU

expatinscotland · 02/10/2017 16:04

Wow, some friend! FFS. A friend of mine is coming to look after our cat whilst we're away in a few weeks. Always pay her in advance, but will also leave goodies to eat in the cupboard and fridge, told her she's welcome to hang out, use what she wants because we're friends not pisstakers.

HalloweenStar · 02/10/2017 16:08

Friends and money don't mix ime, better not to tell anyone you're going somewhere next time. I hope you get this sorted out

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 02/10/2017 16:08

Hmm, not sure tbh. If I offered to buy something for a friend then I wouldn’t dream of asking them for the money until I physically handed it over to them. On the other hand, if I asked a friend to get something for me I would be giving them the money in advance. However, you’ve asked her for the money and explained you’re short at the moment. She might see that as a bit Hmm as she hasn’t actually got it and you already knew you wouldn’t be seeing her til next week. I think if she was on here and asked ‘friend bought something for me last week, not going to get it until next week, but she’s harassing me for the money’, she’d get told you were BU.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 02/10/2017 16:10

In essence I agree with Halloween re friends and money.

Madbum · 02/10/2017 16:13

I would never expect someone to pay for something for me that I’ve asked them to pick up! I’d give the money up front and never expect them to go out of pocket for doing me a favour.
That’s bloody cheeky in itself, this refusal to reimburse you until you hand it over is taking the utter piss, she’s basically saying she doesn’t trust you to hand it over later if she pays you back now.
What sort of friend thinks like that? I’d be really insulted and wouldn’t be speaking to her again.