To hate the phrase ‘hands on dad’?

[Lightsoutandawaywego]

If this is a thing, why isn’t ‘hands on mum’ also a phrase? I’ve just had a baby, and so many people are praising my DH for being a hands on Dad, but I am doing the same amount of parenting (actually probably a bit more because I’m at home and he’s at work), yet all he gets are comments like “Aw look at him - he loves his little girl - isn’t he a good dad” etc. Yes, he’s a very good Dad but why wouldn’t I get the same sort of praise for being a good Mum?! Seems like in this day and age that shouldnt be a phrase and a 50% share of the parenting should be standard and not something to be constantly praised.

FYI, I’m not complaining because no ones complimenting me - I just don’t get why men get such praise for doing the same thing we Mums do.

DH is very hands-on and MIL is incessantly complaining about it "oh he shouldn't be doing that, why are you changing nappies, that's women's work, only lazy wives make their DH's cook for themselves". Utter shite. Perhaps 50 years ago it was women's work, I don't know because I wasn't around. But 11 years into my parenting and it's working out pretty well for the DCs having parents who pull their weight equally when it comes to the house, childcare and paying for stuff.

I think up until very recently misogyny was so ingrained in our society that we didn't think to question phrases and attitudes like this. I'm pretty thankful to be living in a time where people now see it for the bollocks it is.

My DH is a 'hands off dad'. You're very lucky but I can see why you're annoyed. I hate it when I need to go out and it's called babysitting, not when it's your own flipping kids!

All childcare when you're not at work.

Yeah that's still about 30-40 hours a week, even if you're working full time. Basically a second job!

My husband works long hours and often doesn't get home till 8 but we still parent equally. We both do a 4 day week spending a day each with our child. And when we're both here we both parent.

A man having a job that happens to earn enough to support a partner at home isn't providing in a different way but equal way. They didn't elect to do that job over a shit one just so you could stay at home. Surely if that were the case everyone would 'choose' to earn more money! It's a shame when dad's don't enjoy their children