AIBU - not sending a thank you card after wedding?

[Imalreadyinuse]

Just that really. I went to a friends wedding early august and I've not recieved a thank you card, nor have others who attended. Maybe I'm a traditionalist but I just consider it quite rude to not send a thank you following a wedding? Is this a thing now?

I assume those who DON'T send them don't appreciate...

More than once we've had thankmyou notes for wedding presents, usually cash nowadays, many months after the event.
In one case it was over a year!

Better late than never, though - I do think it's rude not to send a short note for a present.

Fair enough, maybe I'm a little eager!
When i sent mine although a pain in the arse to write individually I quite enjoyed it as it seemed to prolong the 'wedding feeling' if that makes sense!!
Its not something id normally do for general birthdays but sent when we revieved baby gifts, christmas presents for kids at christmas from those i wouldnt be able to thank in person.
A nice catch up would be even better but busy schedules always prevent this

I've always had a thank you card after a wedding, and I hand wrote all of mine on return from honeymoon. I think it's extremely rude not to.
However I also have 12 children I send Birthday cards/presents too and very rarely even get a text to say they're received. My sister is the worst, I send gifts for her 3 children (Birthday, Christmas, Easter Eggs etc) plus for her and her husband and never ever receive a thank you, not even a text. She is a particularly horrible person in general though.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3042593-To-expect-a-thank-you-card

7 pages on the subject here!

I think you're right, but a lot of people want to put a wedding photo on the card and some photographers take an age. Hopefully it'll show! Maybe they went on an extended honeymoon.

Give them a chance!

Wow, I must have been very rude because I didn't even thought about it. Was too busy with a 5 months old toddler, tbh. We thanked them in person but never considered sending mails or cards or whatever.

Its plain rude. Somebody buys you a gift and then never acknowledges it??? I think its disgusting. A verbal thank you, an email or a little note of some sort. FFS is that too much of an effort nowadays or are gifts no longer gifts and just expected?

I didn't send thank you cards after my wedding, and have never received a thank you card from any wedding I have attended. Before this thread I didn't even realize it was a thing!

I sent thank you cards for all our wedding presents (but not for those attending, as far as I knew that isn't the usual thing?). Also for all presents we have had before & since having baby. Am looking forward to her being old enough to write her own!

We always had to do it (& hated having to!) but after my sister had her kids I really appreciated how nice it is to get them

There is a certain branch of the family who never send a thank you note for anything. While they might not expect gifts at certain times that doesn't negate the manners of a thank you. I do find it rude and upsetting.

Have they put a generic thing on FB along the lines of "Huge thanks to everyone who joined us on our special day, we had a wonderful time and really appreciate all the cards, gifts and money".

If they have, don't expect a thank you card.

It's coming up 6 months since we got married, I've written half of our personalised thank you cards, sorry! I'll get there but life is busy!

It's more an acknowledgement of the gift you want, than a thank you as such. And it's a tedious excuse to say they're waiting for the photographer, when you can pop down to Boots and get photos straightaway to include with a thank you. Weddings cost a lot - why add to the expense with professional photographs, when most people at the wedding will have taken their own anyway.

Has to be a personal note. The cards from a former colleague pre-printed with "Thank you for your most appropriate gift", weren't well received by us at work.

Is it a done thing now to send a card to them to thank them for inviting me to join their celebration?

It’s always been the done thing to write to hosts to thank after big occasions. I thought it was dying out a bit though. It’s definitely not new

I think it's rude not to, but it can take a few months (or it did for me anyway ).

I think it took us around three months. We thought it was better to write a personal message on each one than send out a standard pre-printed message, but it did take a lot longer to get through them all than we anticipated! Several (mainly older people) did mention it was lovely to get a handwritten thank you message :) seems to be becoming less common.

I've always received them after a wedding and I would have felt incredibly rude for not sending them after ours. I am surprised that people don't. Weddings by their nature tend to be traditional and at least partly formal, so ignoring the traditional way of saying thank you whilst embracing all the other traditional bits of matrimony seems a bit hypocritical to me. As does the 'I'm really busy' statements - planning a wedding take a huge amount of time but yet suddenly there is no time afterwards to write a few cards!

I got married at the end of August and can say that as much as we've tried we have not had any time to write ours yet due to catching up with work and stuff around the house after the honeymoon. Maybe wait a few more weeks? I fully intend to write thank you cards however.

A verbal acknowledgement is fine for me, but if you post something or pay into one of these honeymoon schemes or a store gift list, how are you supposed to know that the couple have received the gift unless they send an individual thank you?
And etiquette or not, six months is too long.

Definitely give them a bit longer! They may have had a two week honeymoon, then they might want a wedding photo to go on their thank you cards so might need to wait for photographer to send the files through.

Give em a chance!

But no thank you card for a wedding gift is the height of rudeness IMO. Only one time I did not receive one and I still recall it now (and they've long since divorced). I hold a grudge me [grins]

We got a thank you for the gift from my cousin - that's how we discovered there'd been a mix-up with the labels, as we'd given a very individual present and were thanked for something totally different. All got sorted in the end.

Never been thanked for just attending. Usually get a card or letter for a gift, but it's by no means guaranteed these days. That's okay, if I get thanked by some other mediabut I do feel a bit judge about those who don't acknowledge gifts at all.

*judgy

Francis - yes, but the whole pace of life is different now. People live further and further away from their actual places of work, and further away from their friends.

I'm not saying that a lot of things aren't easier too, but I'd lay a bet there are more pressures on people's time now. I can quite happily wait to be thanked, and would rather someone wasn't stressing about it.