Obnoxious teens hogging pavement. WWYD?

[Tobythecat]

I've just walked 20 mins to my mums house (I have ASD) which is difficult for me and sometimes I just can't do it. I'm terrified of crossing roads or being around cars and the noise just freaks me out. I get derealization because of the sensory overload.

I'm walking up a hill with a narrow pavement next to a busy main road. This narrow pavement has a bus stop, so all the local college teens congregate there, they are so busy being loud, looking at phones that they don't hear me saying excuse me. I panicked not knowing what to do and went to walk onto the road but a car was coming fast towards me so I just said excuse me and barged past. They shouted something at me like "don't touch me". WIBU?

Poor you OP, it must be really tough is there another route you can take to avoid this happening again, or an earlier time you could leave?

However the teens weren't being rude they were just being thoughtless and minding their own business.

I used to suffer with anxiety in similar situations caused by relentless bullying in school, I used to plan trips out where I'd avoid large groups of teenagers.

Two suggestions made by PPs seemed potentially helpful to me. One idea was to push a cheap stroller in front of you, which often clears a path. Another idea was to avoid times when kids are just getting out of school and waiting for busses- usually between 3-4.

Many teens are half deaf due to endless crappy music.

There was an ad for something. It went ' excuse me? Excuse me? Excuse me?' And then 'GET OUT OF THE WAY' . try that.

Being so absorbed in your dick brick that you block the pavement is the definition of obnoxious.

Incidentally, I've barged people/cut in front/not been aware of others on lots of occasions, because I get really panicky in slow moving crowds when I feel I can't move quickly or escape. This most frequently happens in supermarkets when it's crowded. I just feel overloaded and panicky, and become so focused on getting out that the other people/trolleys become obstacles to be navigated rather than individuals. I do apologise when I realise I've done it, but I know people must think I'm really rude.

Did they actually hear you? Or maybe make it clearer to them what you want - "excuse me, I'd like to get past".

Carry on walking and be on the side closest to the wall so they can't knock you into traffic and say excuse me very loudly so they can definitely hear you. Or stand still (on the side closest to the wall) and brace yourself for them making contact. I've scattered congregated teens before by calling "buggy coming through" while ploughing through them, it was like the red sea parting.

I understand your difficulty here OP. My son has ASD and struggles with groups of people.
What you need is to be assertive but not rude (which he also struggles with). I don't think the teenagers did anything wrong.
Next time you approach, say 'excuse me'.
If they don't hear you, touch one on the arm. Back of the upper arm above the elbow is the least threatening place to touch someone, and say excuse me again. I don't know how your eye contact is, but smile as you do it if you can.
Sorry if that sounds patronising - I really hope it doesn't. I know no two people are the same, so I'm drawing on my experience which may be a way off yours.

Yanbu, taking up the whole pavement and being so loud that they can't hear you is obnoxious, I'd of probably done the same thing tbh.
sensory overload sucks, but winter is here soon and I always find it's easier to hide under hats/scarfs/hoodies headphones when it rolls around.

I understand you were overwhelmed and they didn't hear (or possibly ignored you) but tapping them on the shoulder and saying excuse me would be much more effective than barging past. Especially in the instance that they are there mon - fri teens aren't all ignorant and obnoxious and if you had tried to be polite they may have remembered it and moved in future with out needing to be asked. By barging past you are showing them rudeness and forcefully assuming domination on the public path are acceptable. Teens are still children and still impressionable.

special standing on the pavement and waiting for a bus isn't obnoxious. Barging in to people is obnoxious. So the op was the person being rude here.
I suffer from sensory overload and anxiety, and it's so hard to deal with, so I don't mean that as an attack. Yesterday at the shops I cut across someone's path and knocked into them, because I was panicking, and needed to leave. It was still a rude thing to do.

Yanbu, taking up the whole pavement and being so loud that they can't hear you is obnoxious

Really? Fuck me, were you never a teenager? I tended to not get the bus to and from school with any others as I went out of catchment but plenty of perfectly normal teenagers crowded at the bus stop, all talking over each other, getting louder and louder, just having fun/enjoying themselves. They are not intending to be rude/intimidating or loud, they just want to speak to each other and get the bus.

It's unfortunate and unpleasant if you have issues with noise and crowds, but that doesn't make other people obnoxious.

Really? Fuck me, were you never a teenager?
Yes I was I don't see why being a teenager makes you need to taking up the whole pavement, move to the side in a line if your waiting for the bus.

A line??

How very British...

I think some of the 'teenagers just aren't aware of other people' statements are a bit unfair on teenagers and do them no favours. Why set low expectations?

I regularly walk dd through hordes of secondary school kids on a narrow pavement (along with other parents picking young kids up) and the vast majority of teenagers make way and show consideration for the younger kids. Occasionally a few might be less considerate but they're the minority.

On that basis OP the group you came across sound inconsiderate and thoughtless to be blocking the pavement. The fact they're teenagers is irrelevant really.

Someone earlier suggested teenagers and small children are the same - seriously? If dd behaves the same at 14 as she did at 3 somethings gone wrong somewhere...

Wait, people move for buggies? In my experience people just keep walking at my twin tank and expect it to magically jump out of the way!

OP - I understand the stress. Just take it slowly and practice some loud throat clearinh and assertive loud requests. An ND friend of mine practices these things with friends, it makes her feel better about doing it out and about x

Obnoxious teens could just as well be a group of yummy mummies hogging the width of the sidewalk (or, further down the road, their DC clogging up the pavement on their scooters). It's not specific to one group.

OP has already said it was a narrow pavement - there was maybe only room for two abreast. So blocking the whole pavement would be very easy to do.

Wow replies to op are shit above, have a bit of empathy! Some teenagers are bloody rude, why hog a pavement anyway? They don't own it? I go to uni and above the campus I go to is a secondary school, I often start at 9am and have to walk their side to the bottom as the other side of the hill has no pavement, often I've had to shout to get them to move! Twice I had two teenage boys barge past me, I'm not huge either and they were taller lads than me, I sent an email to the head of the school about how awful the kids are outside, hogging the pavement with no regard for other pedestrians, they replied saying they'd send a news letter out and from then on they had two teachers standing at the gate, it hasn't happened since.

It's realy no different than the grown adukts that stop for a chat at the side of a zebra crossing so you don't know if they are waiting to cross or not, or the people in the supermarket who stop their trollies opposite each other so no -one can get past or who stop at the top of an escalator or in a doorway for a chat etc. Difference is that they are maybe quieter and would hear your "excuse me" . But being loud isn't necessaily a crime in this scenario.

They weren’t ‘hogging a pavement’ merely stood at a bustop on a narrow path

Op was rude

these teenagers weren't really doing anything worng... engrossed in their own conversations/carry on.

the teens weren't being rude they were just being thoughtless

Isn't being thoughtless, or being selfishly engrossed without a care for anyone else and blocking the pavement is being rude, and is wrong?

I find a portable speaker blasting Ludacris "Move bitch, get out the way" works a treat.

Failing that, say "excuse me", at a louder volume.

If it was a group of mums with prams blocking the pavement or some older people having a chat would it be ok to barge past them if they didn't hear the OP say excuse me?

This is such a common situation, would it help if you prepared some "lines" you can say when it happens again? Something so corny that it can't sound aggressive, for instance "Make way for a little one!" if you are shortish, or "Adult coming through", something to diffuse the situation? If you've got a line ready, and have thought in advance about having to say it in a loud fake jolly voice, could you do it?

Until my son was born, groups of teenagers looked obnoxious to me, too, as they just reminded me of being at school myself, where walking past a group could mean rude comments. After he was born, looking at teenagers' ruffled hair and pink ears just reminded me of my soft little son and my attitude changed overnight.