Obnoxious teens hogging pavement. WWYD?

[Tobythecat]

I've just walked 20 mins to my mums house (I have ASD) which is difficult for me and sometimes I just can't do it. I'm terrified of crossing roads or being around cars and the noise just freaks me out. I get derealization because of the sensory overload.

I'm walking up a hill with a narrow pavement next to a busy main road. This narrow pavement has a bus stop, so all the local college teens congregate there, they are so busy being loud, looking at phones that they don't hear me saying excuse me. I panicked not knowing what to do and went to walk onto the road but a car was coming fast towards me so I just said excuse me and barged past. They shouted something at me like "don't touch me". WIBU?

Typo 'Student Room'

Floral I'm assuming you don't have ASD? Show some compassion.

I don't see what alternative there was

Couldn't you have come off the pavement after the car went past?

Have you had sensory integration therapy? You might find it very helpful for your sensory issues.

I usually find a very loud breezy 'Scuse Me Lads' works best, often they'll move. If they ARE obnoxious I then follow it up with 'Watch out, coming through!' before I move. If there's still no space I then squeeze past usually uttering middle aged platitudes like 'Whoops, tiny pavement, mind out lads and lasses, thanks, mind your backs!' Etc etc like a true mum. It worksm

I understand that it's a difficult situation but you could find yourself in a much worse situation if you go barging past people in the street. You could end up in a huge argument, or worse someone could be physical against you.

I can imagine they weren't trying to be obnoxious, just thoughtless. You need to find a way to get their attention, maybe a touch of the arm or raising your voice?

Surely speaking up is easier,
Not when you have ASD.

I am astonished at how harsh some of these replies are. The OP has ASD and was clearly stressed. Just as well he saw the car coming or he could have been knocked over!

I do get why one of them shouted at you, though, OP, it would have come across as rude. Next time you need to say 'excuse me' in a stronger voice and tap one of them on the arm. Maybe rehearse it, would that help?

Its OK to be rude when a massive gang of people are obliviously blocking an entire pavement though

They likely didn't hear you. I come against the secondary students daily and I've found in most groups they will move without even being asked you always get the odd one but yesterday morning as I manovered around a boy blocking the path stood with his bike his friend said to him "that was really rude" the same boy moved today looking a bit sheepish that his friend has called him out yesterday.

When I do have to ask it's normally excuse me please just want to squeeze past. Thank you.

Hiya OP. A big stress for you, but don't let it worry you all day/night. They probably haven't thought about it since.

It's not a good idea to push past people, you obviously didn't hurt anyone in this situation, but you did leave yourself vulnerable.

I read somewhere that teenagers have crappy spacial awareness, and it is something I often notice when I am out walking with my kids, with a big gang of teenagers walking towards us. They just don't shift over!

BUT you have to remember that they are probably not bad people, they probably mean well. In a situation such as yours I would say excuse me first, then if that didn't work I'd do a big smile, say HIYA! Sorry can I just squeeze past! Ta! Obviously I am pretending to be a cheery person but I get what I want and no one is offended and then I'm not left worrying about it for the rest of the day, IYSWIM.

I wouldn't have tapped any of them on the arm. I would expect them to strongly object to that - you only have to think of the umpteen threads on here complaining about strangers touching them. I hasten to add that I wouldn't object to someone touching me to get my attention if I hadn't heard them, but many do and would react badly. I would just say 'excuse me' as loud as necessary to be heard.

How about a hooter?

evildoctor , no I don't have ASD but I have a son with high functioning autism and I would not expect him to go barging into people , having ASD does not excuse you from being expected to behave in a civilised manner and as I said previously for all the OP knows the person she rudely barged may also have issues .

Being agoraphobic for 10 years was so much easier. I will try to speak louder next time, failing that I will just stay at home. I am overloaded with sounds, movement (people on pavements, cars), colours and any visual info.

I think the OP knows he didn't handle it well, Floral, so there's no need to be unkind about it. He can't have been in a good place because he nearly ended up in front of a car.

Can your mum come and pick you up, OP?

Floral I think the OP panicked. DD's on the spectrum and doesn't always do the right thing when she panics.

I think we're in danger of losing sight of the fact that these teenagers were at a bus stop, placed in an awkward position.

Its really unfair to assume they were actually being obnoxious.

Cross the road in advance before the hill

Insomniac, I'm actually one of those people who hate being tapped on the arm. In those circumstances, though, I think I'd prefer it to being barged into, so the advice is sound, I think.

Nikephorus
Surely speaking up is easier
Not when you have ASD

I didn't say it was 'easy' I said it was 'easier'

Speaking up is 'easier' than panicking, having to avoid getting run over, barging through and dealing with snarky comments.

OP, is there a pavement on the other side of the road? I know you shouldn't have to but could you just cross over or even go a longer way around. It's a nuisance but maybe would make it less stressful

Ask once at normal volume. "Excuse me, please".
Ask again at loud /very loud volume to get their attention. "EXCUSE ME, PLEASE!".
When they look at you, give them a big smile and a cheery "Thank you!". If they don't look at you but still move, still give them the loud and cheery thank you.

As Tatters has said 'Excuse me, please!' spoken loudly and clearly.

You were being unreasonable, btw, but I think you probably realise that. They weren't being obnoxious, just lacking awareness of their surroundings.

I do appreciate that you found the situation difficult OP but these teenagers weren't really doing anything worng.

they were on a narrow pavement waiting for a bus and were engrossed in their own conversations/carry on.

It doesn't sound like they were threatening or intimidating you deliberately, they were just being teenagers at a bus stop which you find intimidating.

There are obviously some children/teens and adults that are threatening and up to no good, but the vast majority or people are just going about their daily business and don't intend anyone any harm.