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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that he should apologise?

65 replies

LootTheRoom · 25/09/2017 20:59

Today at around 6PM I was breastfeeding my DS. I was starving but hadn't had time to start cooking dinner. DH walked past and I asked him if he could put the chicken in the oven (this literally involved taking it out of the packet and putting it in the oven).
He said no because he 'couldn't be arsed' I then started crying because I felt he was being selfish. He stormed out, slammed the door and went and played games on his computer while I continued to feed our son.
My husband has not apologised. He said I was being unreasonable and that he didn't want to 'give into all my demands.' I explained I was just asking for help and I felt the way he spoke to me was aggressive. It's also not as though he was in the middle of anything important and it would have taken him all of 5 minutes to put the chicken in the oven. We are now not speaking which seems completely ridiculous but he will not admit to any wrongdoing and is making out that I am the one with the problem.

OP posts:
HattiesBackpack · 25/09/2017 21:03

Read your post back to yourself and try to see what you've just described through your parents/friends eyes. What do you think they would say?

MeriReu · 25/09/2017 21:03

He's being a right piece of work.
How unnecessary to say he shouldn't 'give in to all your demands'!
It's a bloody chicken Hmm

Ignore him OP, hope you're ok! Don't let it bother you.

Childish but next time he asks you for something just say you 'can't be arsed' like he did Grin

lookatyourwatchnow · 25/09/2017 21:04

What an absolute tosser. Does he usually behave like that?

WhoWants2Know · 25/09/2017 21:05

What an arsehole.

Nanny0gg · 25/09/2017 21:05

Demands?

I assume the meal was for him as well?

I hope you leave him hungry next time.

Does he behave like this often?

GhoulsFold · 25/09/2017 21:06

"he didn't want to 'give into all my demands.'"

Because you asked him to put a chicken in the oven while you fed the baby?!

Christ. What a grade A wanker.

He'd be cooking his own dinner for the foreseeable until he apologised. YADNBU

WhoWants2Know · 25/09/2017 21:07

And really, can you picture yourself responding that way to anyone who asks for your help? If he can't even be decent then why keep him around?

LagunaBubbles · 25/09/2017 21:07

Has he always been like this?

Ttbb · 25/09/2017 21:07

Have you by an chance experienced a freaky Friday situation where your husband's body has been possessed by a moody teenager?

NoKidsTwoCats · 25/09/2017 21:07

Yes, it sounds like he's being an arse. But...

Being devil's advocate...

The fact you started crying and the fact he said 'all' your demands: I'm assuming there's some context or background behind all this and this isn't isolated?

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 25/09/2017 21:08

I will go first.. LTB.

Justanothernameonthepage · 25/09/2017 21:08

Hoping you start not giving into his demands. Starting with his demand to have you second guessing yourself.
But is there anyone you can go and stay with who will help look after you for a couple of days while you think through how you want the next couple of years to pan out?

Butterymuffin · 25/09/2017 21:09

What a dick. Is this how he usually behaves?

At any rate, you can now stop doing anything you do for him, whether that's cooking, laundry, whatever, and when he asks why his shirts aren't clean or why there's no dinner, the reply can be 'couldn't be arsed!'

DJBaggySmalls · 25/09/2017 21:10

Yes, yabu. He needs to do a lot more than apologise, he needs to grow up and realise you aren't his mother.

Bobbins43 · 25/09/2017 21:10

Fuck that noise. What an arse

MoodyMumOfOne · 25/09/2017 21:10

You must be feeling very upset about this. You definitely deserve an apology but probably best to give him a wide berth for now. Hopefully he will be feeling bad about this once he has had time to reflect and will realise he was out of order Flowers

Bluntness100 · 25/09/2017 21:11

As a stand alone incident, yup he’s a wanker. But is there a wider pic here? You’re crying , he’s stomping around, you say he’s selfish, he says you’re demanding. How old is your child? Are you both coping?

Danceswithwarthogs · 25/09/2017 21:11

Have you had dinner now?
What an inconsiderate idiot (and cutting his nose off to spite his face.... unless he's a vegetarian)

HolidayTimeAgain · 25/09/2017 21:12

I really hope you didn't cook the chicken for him after that!!!
He needs to do more than simply apologise.

thatdearoctopus · 25/09/2017 21:12

Your demands? He mentioned your demands, whilst you're sitting there, presumably demand-feeding his child?

Arse.

Original poster
LootTheRoom · 25/09/2017 21:13

Background - I had a difficult birth which left me weak as I'd lost a lot of blood - I then had a lot of trouble breastfeeding initially so I did need a lot of help in the early days. I'm doing much better now.

OP posts:
TellMeIAmBonkers · 25/09/2017 21:14

He's a cock.

Original poster
LootTheRoom · 25/09/2017 21:14

Yes chicken was dinner for both of us

OP posts:
NoKidsTwoCats · 25/09/2017 21:16

Sorry you've had a tough time of it LootTheRoom. Definitely sounds like he's being an utter arse Flowers

NoKidsTwoCats · 25/09/2017 21:16

Sorry you've had a tough time of it LootTheRoom. Definitely sounds like he's being an utter arse Flowers