To think that he should apologise?

[LootTheRoom]

Today at around 6PM I was breastfeeding my DS. I was starving but hadn't had time to start cooking dinner. DH walked past and I asked him if he could put the chicken in the oven (this literally involved taking it out of the packet and putting it in the oven).
He said no because he 'couldn't be arsed' I then started crying because I felt he was being selfish. He stormed out, slammed the door and went and played games on his computer while I continued to feed our son.
My husband has not apologised. He said I was being unreasonable and that he didn't want to 'give into all my demands.' I explained I was just asking for help and I felt the way he spoke to me was aggressive. It's also not as though he was in the middle of anything important and it would have taken him all of 5 minutes to put the chicken in the oven. We are now not speaking which seems completely ridiculous but he will not admit to any wrongdoing and is making out that I am the one with the problem.

Why are half the people on here so melodramatic? Not you OP, although you're reaction seems a bit mad. Who cries over chicken?
Why would you divorce someone over chicken? Let's imagine that in front of the judge now, let's imagine explaining that to your kids... this one time dad and I fought about chicken and now you have to grow up in two homes.
You're OH sounds stressed. Yes, you've been through hell, but so has he. Can you imagine how difficult it would be to see someone you love go through so much pain? Have to adapt your life without the hormones or instinct helping you out? Women have it worse, we know this, but it's hardly a walk in the park for men and they're allowed a moment or two to not be solid as a rock and accommodating to our every needs.
Just move on. Don't talk about chickengate and just crack on.

Exactly what TheLionQueen said.

bloody hell dont cook him any dinner! i think this is why i will be single for the rest of my life! could not be arsed with the drama.

@TestingTestingWonTooFree I don't know what breastfeeding was like for you but all three times I did it it was agony for the first few months and no way would I be forcefully unlatching a two month old to do a simple task that my husband could do instead of me. Granted by baby #3 I had the ability and training to be able to do many kitchen tasks whilst BFing but OP is a first time mum.

OP. PLEASE STOP COOKING FOR YOUR DH! I highly recommend you "not being arsed" and when he says something about that, tell him you don't want to be "giving in to all his demands". Let him see how fucking stupid he is.

OP are you sure he's not normally an arse? He's certain,y throwing all the toys out of the pram now he's not the centre of attention.

User I hope that's an ex you're referring to.

It depends a lot on how reasonable he normally is. You might consider how he treated you before pregnancy/parenthood - did you operate as a team then? Did he do his share of domestic work; did you get an equal amount of say in what to eat/who to spend time with/what to do at the weekend?
Some men see parenthood as their opportunity to position themselves as Head of the Household, do no domestic work and expect their wives to be constantly charming and obedient now that the wife is economically dependent on them.

If he always has been a good bloke and was just having a bad day it might be a different matter: a lot of couples squabble in the early days of parenthood due to sheer sleep deprivation.

If he doesn't apologise or at least mention it again, the next time he asks you to do something, say "Well - I COULD do it, or then again I could just say I can't be arsed. What do you think?" I wouldn't be nice to him or chat as if you have forgotten about it in the meantime.

Has he eaten his chicken dinner? I hope it choked him.

who cries over chicken? - extremely sleep-deprived people coming to terms with a massive life event while simultaneously recovering from a series of major physiological challenges i.e. new mothers.

OP: Hand him the baby, go and have a long, relaxing bath, and when you emerge, ask him why he hasn't got the dinner on. If you're thinking this sounds unreasonable, it's only what he's doing to you. It's his baby as much as yours. And his dinner.

I seriously love how people have genuinely advised the OP to leave her husband. Father of her 2 month old baby. For an out of character refusal to put some chicken in the oven!

OP it sounds like he was having a rough moment. It's sometimes hard for men to understand that breastfeeding is not just sitting around relaxing. Just chat to him and admit that you're both tired and grumpy but ask if you can please both try to be kind to one another.

And the poster who said: And if he is suffering, then he needs to give himself a slap and man up. - Men have mental health problems after the birth of children, too. They definitely don't need to 'give themselves a slap' and I loathe the phrase 'man up' - like it's weak or unmanly to struggle (and therefore feminine, by the way). Awful comment.

I grew up with a very sick mother (terminally ill ) and I know how frustrating it can be to be given orders by somebody who is lying on the sofa. ... "please can you open/close the door, switch the oven on/off, fetch my pillow, answer the phone, call your sisters and tell them dinner's ready". My mum was almost a saint, and I loved her, but running around for her was still annoying when I was a teenager.

Your husband is not a teenager, he is a grown up father. I hope he apologises for his attitude about the chicken.

He's being a prick. I don't think I cooked for about 8 months when DS1 was a baby!

People behave in very odd ways in the newborn days when sleep deprived but it doesn't excuse him being a tool. Hopefully he'll realise he's being a dick and apologise. If not, I'd not make him another meal ever again.

@TheKidsAreTakingMySanity fair enough, that's not something I particularly considered. Fwiw on baby 1 by 2 months it still hurt all the time so unlatching didn't matter but baby 2 was less painful. I appreciate op isn't me though.

Of course on the face of it he sounds totally unreasonable and quite unkind. Has been doing more than his fair share of stuff round the house to come out with that comment?

When there's a new baby in the house, especially a breast feeding baby then dad's "fair share" of work is absolutely everything except for feeding the baby.

When there's a new baby in the house, especially a breast feeding baby then dad's "fair share" of work is absolutely everything except for feeding the baby.