... To just scream FUCK IT ALL and shove them in the local primary.

[Mrsfullhouse]

Good god I'm exhausted. I have three beautiful DC's. DS1 in Reception, DS2 in nursery and DD in year 6. All at a lovely prep school. So far so good....

However, by the ripe old age of 10, my DD has managed to become a rather excellent singer a consummate LAMDA exam taker and very talented hockey player, so all of my time is spent running her around to fixtures/ training/ concerts/ practices/ performances/ exams... you get the picture. DH is at rugby on Saturdays, so it is invariably me that does all the running around because he's either working or too tired on a Sunday. I just seem to spend my life in the car. This excludes all of the actual travel to and from the lovely prep (bloody miles away). Extra travel for all of the lovely things that they do that nice mummies actually turn up to an clap politely as they watch little Horatio murder a violin in cold blood. Plus all the lovely coffee dates- oh and you know, the actual job that I do... that I barely have time for.

The thing is, her lovely prep has encouraged DD to pursue these avenues having 'discovered' her talents- along with a million other things that if she had gone to the local primary, I'm pretty sure I would have been too smugly lazy to even think about. That is no reflection on state school mummies- I know some super-tiger ones.... but I would probably been awful and not even let her join recorder club because- well, who the fuck wants to listen to the fucking recorder.

So this is my life now, and I barely have time to think, let alone spend time polishing my turd enough to look acceptable in public.

I love the lovely prep.... but I think about how ridiculous it is now, and in a few years time I will have three actively participating in all of this shit. No doubt they will stumble upon some glorious talent that DS1 has that will involve me traversing the country, burning £50 notes and chucking them out of the car window as I go.

So, would it be unreasonable to just shout FUCK IT ALL, pull them out, stick them in the lovely, but not as lovely as lovely prep, primary and spend my evenings and weekends drinking very very cold wine and talking to my chickens?

Anybody else just feel like, as much as they love their DC's and their wonderful talents, they wish that they'd just never fucking encouraged them in the first place?

Also on another note, sat in pub having dinner last evening with children, very loud group of people with privately educated children- I know this as they were loudly proclaiming it were playing a word game and darling Birthday boy Tarquin - 13 today said Onomatopoeic as his word, lots of loud clapping and ‘Wonderful’ to him word, on adult pipped up with do you know what that means and after a hum and ha, gave a wrong description, my 9 year old state school educated said we learnt that in year 2 and explained quietly to us what it was!! So don’t poo poo state school.

We love good old state school, mixing with the rough kids, my kids don't go to any clubs other than the rough youth club down the road where they probably smoke weed and swear at the staff. I love just putting my feet up in evenings with a cold beer and eastenders on the box. If they get bored I let them play Xbox or kick a ball against the neighbours wall.

Really op, I know loads of kids in state school that take part in after school clubs, music lessons and sports. I don't think moving your kids will make any difference, maybe saying 'no' to a few things might? Or giving your dh a kick might make things less stressful for you.

Why don't you move closer to the lovely prep? Why can't you sort out a Rota for drop offs?

Mine started at the lovely local primary. D'S did flute, piano, kumon, tennis, football, hockey, cricket . DD did flute, choir, drama, brownies, ball skills, choristerkng. When they went to London Independent day schools they did less because there were more activities at school and more academic homework. So it was easier.

Dd ended up focusing on music/drama and ds on sport. Oh and all schools were local enough for them to travel independently from 11 although they still got lifts when kit required it.

We were too sensible to let them play the harp or cello which cause problems on the public bus .

Now do please give yourself a talking to or move house instead of your children.

I don't think so Clover I think it's more that the prep school is more likely to push for extra curricular than a state school would.

You made me laugh anyway. Pls just throw the £50 notes out of the window and I'll pick them out of the hedges.

I'm a scummy state school Mummy of 4.

Mine have after school/weekend lessons in:
Horse riding
Karate
Ballet / Tap / Modern dance
Violin
Cheerleading
Ice skating
English and Maths private tuition

All weekend and 4 evenings are given over to extra curricular activities. The difference is my dh has an equal role in parenting the dc.

Well, it is funny but not in the way it appears to have been intended. I think. It's hard to tell.

I'll take your OP at face value. My DD does four extra curricular things, DS1 does one. Two are in school for DD and I take her to one, dh collects if I haven't stayed. He takes and waits the other. He does both ways for DS. We're a team so we work together. He does what he can if I don't want too but when he can't I do. Your dh needs to stop being a prick and parent his child on a Sunday. Too fucking tired. What a baby.

If you don't want to do it anymore then tell your child or carry on and stop moaning.

I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

Is this a stealth boast?

As a parent I have made the decision that until my children are 16, I will put their needs first, just do the same. When they have moved out and grown up you can drink all the wine you want and your chickens will be the only company I the house left to talk too.

Red squirrel...excellent post.

I'm really hoping this is some aren't I hilarious wannabe slummy mummy type blogger practice run. If not, it's the second time today I've read someone moaning not so stealth boasting about how much time they devote to their darlings activites.
Oh wtf is a super tiger mummy? Apart from a phrase that makes me want to take my eyes out with a spoon

OP is your purse too small for your fifties? And are your diamond shoes too tight?

Your husband is too tired on a Sunday and too busy on a Saturday - ach bless him - does he not get those extra invisible hours that the rest of us do to relax . I've always found that the phrase "no it doesn't suit us" to be helpful.

surely a key point of private is that they do the activities on the school complex so you don't have to schlep about so you can earn money to afford the fees?

Alternatively, restrict the children to choose their top 2 - 1 weekday and 1 weekend activity and that's it.

My dd's go to a state school that is in the top 3% of high achieving schools and been mentioned in the Guardian. So fuck knows what you're going on about state schools being shit

My dd's go to loads of extra curricular activities after school and are involved in everything going, from choir to tennis to karate and swimming club.

Your Dh needs to get his thumb out of his arse for a start. Then you'll probably have to move closer to the prep school so we don't have to listen to your whinging on MN.

Go talk to the chickens about it, and bore them instead.

Should explain about DH- Works very long hours all week and volunteers his time on a Saturday to teach children with SEND rugby- he doesn't go to or play rugby, and is generally very very good.

I love our local primary- I volunteer there on my day off etc, but DC's go to Lovely prep on MIL's insistence, and therefor tab. I was privately educated , as was DH, but would have been happy either way for DC's.

I just feel a bit sucked into it all, and Scrowy is right, I've realised today that I spend waaaay too much time in the car, and not enough time actually living.

The title was supposed to be lighthearted, but I genuinely mean it. just feeling a bit overwhelmed. In fact I was looking for a bit of light relief coming on here, just a bit of a moan about how much pressure we put ourselves under as mummies to make sure DC's are so happy that they could burst, when in fact DD would probably have been happy with a recorder and a bit more time with me.

I don't know how to do sad faces, but that is how i feel.

* in the house! Bloody state school education 😁 (said very tongue in cheek)

I think you sound down to earth and lovely

Whatever planet the OP is on, it isn't earth.

just a bit of a moan about how much pressure we put ourselves under as mummies to make sure DC's are so happy that they could burst

Do we ?

Well poor diddums DH who is "too tired" on a Sunday is needing a rocket up his arse to start with.

I love our local primary- I volunteer there on my day off etc, but DC's go to Lovely prep on MIL's insistence

Oh boy...

In that case op, I would tell mil thanks but no thanks.
You need to get it out if your head that paying for education automatically means it's better for your children, it mightn't be.

sooooooo many competitive parents that you feel that you are somehow letting your child down if they are not reciting Shakespeare whilst cross-country running and simultaneously re-tuning their oboe by the age of seven

That's what the state schools are like around here.

Why don't you take up rugby yourself and then you can be tired too and you and your dh can arm wrestle for the job of middle class uber driver.

1. Ltb
2. Lay off the wine
3. Sorry for your bereavement
4. Get guinea pigs. Chattier than chickens.

you are never going to get Light Hearted in AIBU
plus you have put people's backs up. as happens in aibu.