... To just scream FUCK IT ALL and shove them in the local primary.

[Mrsfullhouse]

Good god I'm exhausted. I have three beautiful DC's. DS1 in Reception, DS2 in nursery and DD in year 6. All at a lovely prep school. So far so good....

However, by the ripe old age of 10, my DD has managed to become a rather excellent singer a consummate LAMDA exam taker and very talented hockey player, so all of my time is spent running her around to fixtures/ training/ concerts/ practices/ performances/ exams... you get the picture. DH is at rugby on Saturdays, so it is invariably me that does all the running around because he's either working or too tired on a Sunday. I just seem to spend my life in the car. This excludes all of the actual travel to and from the lovely prep (bloody miles away). Extra travel for all of the lovely things that they do that nice mummies actually turn up to an clap politely as they watch little Horatio murder a violin in cold blood. Plus all the lovely coffee dates- oh and you know, the actual job that I do... that I barely have time for.

The thing is, her lovely prep has encouraged DD to pursue these avenues having 'discovered' her talents- along with a million other things that if she had gone to the local primary, I'm pretty sure I would have been too smugly lazy to even think about. That is no reflection on state school mummies- I know some super-tiger ones.... but I would probably been awful and not even let her join recorder club because- well, who the fuck wants to listen to the fucking recorder.

So this is my life now, and I barely have time to think, let alone spend time polishing my turd enough to look acceptable in public.

I love the lovely prep.... but I think about how ridiculous it is now, and in a few years time I will have three actively participating in all of this shit. No doubt they will stumble upon some glorious talent that DS1 has that will involve me traversing the country, burning £50 notes and chucking them out of the car window as I go.

So, would it be unreasonable to just shout FUCK IT ALL, pull them out, stick them in the lovely, but not as lovely as lovely prep, primary and spend my evenings and weekends drinking very very cold wine and talking to my chickens?

Anybody else just feel like, as much as they love their DC's and their wonderful talents, they wish that they'd just never fucking encouraged them in the first place?

mrsfullhouse

Wait a minute ....my four year old was asked to join a cricket club because he had potential

I assumed he was fantastically talented

It's not about private vs state school, OP. It's about what you prioritise for your children and teenagers stance you take on extra curricular activities.

My dd does Brownies. That's it. Her brother does one sport club.

The school curriculum doesn't allow for much child led time and we have made a decision to prioritise that at home. We know some children who do amazing activities every night and are exhausted.

Some of these threads smack of rabid jealousy TBH. RTFT then go and sulk into your copy of the Guardian

*posts not threads!

Mine threw a welly and has only picked up a cricket bat once, and that was to hit the flowers off of my hydrangea.

Althought its a bit sad

He had a renewed interest in cricket following a few weeks training in state school. The school do a few weeks on one sport and then a few weeks on another...apart from football which is played all the fucking time

He joined the local club but unfortunately he wasn't at the same level as the rest of the team who went to private school and played cricket on a daily basis so he dropped out...purely from embarrassment

The boys and the coach were lovely and i did feel very sad for him

I expect your hydrangeas deserved it

He had no interest at joining the cricket team at four

Lazy little git

Although to be fair it was all football, football, football

I must work. I'm asking for days off. Spending the day stealthily tapping on my phone whilst trying to look busy is not going to do me any favours!

Ds1 is not in any way interested in sport, but no doubt the school will try and offer 'engineering tuition' because he can build a Lego house without getting any of it stuck up his nose.

Rose tinted glasses are off. I know I'm really fortunate, but I'm not going to get caught up in it all anymore.

Do some work!!

Some ridiculously nasty replies on here. OP, I'm glad you have made a plan to have more time with your lovely family! (Not being sarcastic. Lovely is a very useful word!)

Just read through the whole page, OP, and I think you've done great to revisit your original point of departure and rethink things.

While the private/state school thing is obviously a red herring, I think there is perhaps a kind of advantage in bringing your children up in a slightly poorer demographic. It makes it that little bit easier to say "look, I know you enjoy all these things but they are all luxuries and they have to be worked and planned for so tell me what is really important and I will try to manage that".

It is perhaps easier for dc to get this if they see that other parents are having to be restrictive too. But that's because we are conditioned to believe that our time and energy as parents don't matter, whereas a money shortage is Real and you can't argue with it.

I thought the op was quite funny.

My state primary dd did far more extra curricular activities than prep dd does now. I don't think it matters where they are, if they have a flair for something, then encourage it as long as they enjoy it!
And yes...I do agree with other posters...your DH needs to haul his ass into gear on the weekends too.

Educate myself about dementia? How about some of you stop furiously pecking an outraged reply and take the time to digest a post. If my post is a comment on OPs writing style maybe just maybe my comment about her grandmother was ... oh part of my comment on her writing style as opposed to discussing a complex degenerative disease?

Her writing. She's reeling you in with dropping an outrageous, over the top anecdote just so.

And think the prep school issue is a red herring too.

TBH at good private schools you should be doing less running around as they offer so much stuff in house.

And at outside school activities I'm sure you meet lots of state school parents also doing the EC taxi service.

There seem to be two issues here.

First, you're too busy and feel overwhelmed. Take stock. Cut back where you can. No one's life ever fell apart because their mum couldn't take them to netball.

Second, stop making assumptions about your fellow private school mums. You caricature them all as a homogenous lump. I know it's funny to do it, but it won't help you or your DC enjoy their education.

My DC attended a Lovely Prep, and then a Well Regarded Public School and I'm absolutely nothing like you present the mums.

You have no way of knowing what kind of mum you'd be if you'd state educated your kids. To suggest it'd be easier because of, basically, lack of opportunities, is incredibly naive.

My Aunty and uncle ran a therapy farm for troubled inner city kids and it was amazing (they now run an orphanage in a war-torn country- they are very very brilliant people). We'd like to do something similar, maybe when DS's are a little bit older

Is your DH serious about this? I find it hard to imagine that the man who works six days a week and spends the seventh playing rugby really intends to down tools and open a petting farm.

I've only read the last two pages so can't comment on the OP particularly, but I have to say I can't decide whether I'm in awe of JemimaMuddledUp's family or really quite sad for them.

*Jemimka if everything you say is true, then they do 20 separate things (counting the different sports fixtures and music activities as one separate thing each) in their typical week, so roughly three things each a day? plus (presumably) daily music practice for their instruments? Plus homework? With two parents who work full time. So you and DH are both presumably out of the house from first thing in the morning until six or seven at night?

Now ok, I did lots of activities as a child, as do my own DC now, but that volume of intensity is just insane It doesn't sound like much of a life for anyone Where is the time for you to just chill out and relax? You must all just be exhausted and permanently stressed.

OP, don't feel the need to be "humbled" by nasty bitchy replies from judgemental people who have never met you.

Your post was clearly tongue in cheek.

You don't need to take them to all these classes, and if they're seondary school age, they can just take public transport.

My parents worked FT with a long commute and absolutely refused to drive me to anything, saying they drive enough already. In middle school all my activities were at the school, so I cycled back home, and in secondary school I didn't do any because I was shit at sport. I didn't realise it was so "normal" and expected to ferry your kids around! Feel a bit jealous haha, as I always wanted to do ballet/ice skating/wakeboarding but they were like 2 towns over. But I knew Mum needed to relax at the weekend and that's the way it was - so what?

It hasn't impacted me in any way now, in fact all my hobbies are craft and language based :P So take some time for yourself and your kids will be fine!

My boyfriend on the other hand used to get ferried to rugby and now he's semi-pro and gets his head kicked in every Saturday. Every week I dread being told he's got some major injury....

I find it rather bizarre that you are so up yourself that you think that you do soooooo much because your children go to prep school however us scummy mummies with children in state schools sit on our arses drinking wine. My daughter has drama, gymnastics, tennis, football and swimming lessons. The school has musical instrument lessons available for any child that wants them from saxophone to violin. As a teacher I find your idea of state schools offensive and rather dated. Also I've worked in two private schools and let me tell you other than the polish that the parents were given the qualifications of the staff and the support given to the children was no where near as good as the state schools I have worked in.

I sent my DSs to prep school so i didn't need to do any running round.

Your MIL needs to fuck off, OP. I mean she really needs to be told to get to actual fuck. Sounds like an interfering bissom who has completely taken over and is treating you as a kind of admin assistant in the lives of your family.

All of your running to stand still is a result of her expectations. It won’t be her who has a breakdown from the stress of giving her her “money’s worth”.

I’m very sorry about your granny. I hope your plan works out and you get a bit more time with your children.

I find it rather bizarre that you are so up yourself that you think that you do soooooo much because your children go to prep school however us scummy mummies with children in state schools sit on our arses drinking wine. My daughter has drama, gymnastics, tennis, football and swimming lessons.

Omg stop being so offended. The OP clearly said that in state schools she thinks there would be less PRESSURE to do extra-curriculars, not that less extra-curriculars are on offer! I think we're all aware that state schools offer loads of ECs - they just don't pester kids to actually do them! At least, not in the schools I went to.

Love all the replies being like "well MY child does X,Y,Z"....congrats?