To think this is the saddest thing I have had to write and to not want to it.

[theduchessstill]

IWBveryUR nt to do it, but I really don't want to.

A colleague I work closely with has applied for another job. There are many organisational issues where we work and I don't blame her at all for wanting to leave. As well as working closely together she has supported me through some difficult times and the thought of her leaving just sucks. And to rub salt in the wound I now have to write her reference .

Obviously I am happy for her to have this chance, but to have to sit opposite her and type out why she is so great is not fun! I am in danger of making a total fool of myself here. Help me get a grip...

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes So did I!

To think this is the saddest thing I have had to write and to not want to it

I agree with others. OP - please keep this in perspective. It's hardly a tragic situation

ihaveapen our parents were obviously selfish bastards Not that I'm holding onto a 30 year old resentment or anything

I've worked with some absolutely lovely people and have been a bit gutted when they've left, but not to the point of tearfulness or feeling 'sad' about writing their reference. They have their own life and career; just try to be pleased for them. I know it's hard if someone you work with just makes your day easier/happier/more fun and then they go, but that's life.

If you're unhappy at the company yourself, I'm sure you could look around for another job too. Also, if you're really friendly with them I'm sure you'll stay in touch. Plenty of my work friendships have survived after one of us has gone to work somewhere else.