To report sister to social services after latest revelation from niece?

[FUNM]

In short, there have been several questionable incidents and the latest one has me reeling and wanting to report her to social services. My toddler nephew was holding his finger and grizzling, and I noticed a small scar. So I asked my niece (who is just under 5) what happened, and she said 'he cut it on daddy's razor and it bled a lot'. My first reaction: disbelief and speechless. So I asked her exactly what happened. She said he picked up daddy's razor and cut himself on it. There was a lot of blood.

What the hell do I do with this? There are other incidents: left alone in bath, left alone to watch TV while mum sleeps upstairs, ... Is this none of my business or should I just report?

Oh for pete's sakes! I think Social Services would call you a time waster if a kid nicked his finger on a razor.
If that is the single worst event I would have to say you are a troublemaker.However, if there is worse, I would talk to someone else about it, NOT social services. And let that person help you make a decision.
That's if this post si a real one.

I had an elderly family member who used to quiz me like this, I remember telling her how my mum never cleaned (not true and I knew it), how my dad did everything by himself (also not true and I knew it) and how my mum slept really late on weekends (also not true). I knew that that is what she wanted to hear. I did this from as long as I can remember until about 8 or 9, when I finally understood how poisonous she was.

The girl is 4! Stop shit-stirring. In case your DSis ever comes across this, carefully supervise your DC's contact with their aunt/uncle.

I was recently reported by a so called family member, they made up a lot of lies and although the case was closed I still feel the stigma down at the school and still feel embarrassed. I also constantly worry my door will knock again and it will be ss, they never sent me a letter or phone call they turned up unannounced so now I'm constantly on edge. So damage has been done. This does not warrant a call to ss.

Did they let you know who did the malicious reporting, Dancingfairy, or are you forever left wondering who to shut out?

Friend of mine's brother called social services on her because her toddler DD wasn't growing properly and he suspected she was starving her. This despite him knowing the child was being investigated for a number of conditions that could affect / delay development. SS took it very seriously, dropped by the house without warning, and then monitored for a couple of weeks (IIRC) to check everything out. It was an awful ordeal for my friend, who was terrified they were going to take her child away for no reason. 4 years on, the child has been diagnosed with a serious illness but is growing well on tube feeding and growth hormones. My friend and her brother are estranged, haven't spoken since that time, and I doubt will ever repair their relationship.
OP, are you willing for this to be the last interaction you have with your sister?

dancingfairy So sorry you had a similar experience. Its such an awful, malicious thing to do. Not to mention a waste of already overstretched services.

Ask your sister about your concerns. How do you know he was left in the bath alone? Perhaps he got up early, went downstairs and put the TVs on and that was why his mum was asleep! Youngsters do that sort of thing at times. They also touch things they shouldn't as they are innately curious. I remember, as a child, climbing onto a table walking along to a cupboard housing my dad's razor. I was in the middle of imitating his downward shaving action on my throats when my mother entered the room and I can still see her look of horror on her face and hear the accompanying scream!

You need to offer your Sister support, accidents happen unfortunately.
Maybe she could do with a little help, unless you have serious grounds for concern, try not to be so judgemental. I imagine she feels bad enough.

I am now of the opinion she doesn't like her sister. She is upset about the past. Let your sister go you sound to wrapped up in her.

I remember your previous thread and not for good reasons. You don't sound like you care about your sister or her children and it'd be a spiteful, malicious report. YABVVVU to waste precious children's services resources, based on what information you've given.

If my 4 year old had said he was in the bath on his own, he would mean that he didn't have to share a bath with his brother. He also once told his teacher that our house had so many mice that they jumped onto the table and he fed them the bits of his dinner that he didn't like (not true, we don't have any mice at all!).
A razor doesn't have to have been left out for long for a toddler to grab it- his dad might have put it on the side of the sink while he reached for something and that moment was all it took- toddlers can move very fast when they want something they think they might not be allowed.
You can't rely on a child so young to give you a true picture of what happens when you aren't there. Unless you really, really want to, which it seems you do.

So I asked her exactly what happened. She said he picked up daddy's razor and cut himself on it. There was a lot of blood.

That is most certainly not exactly what happened. It's definitely not the entire story. Where was the razor, why was it there, is that where it lives, how did the toddler get to it, what happened after? Those details, the most important ones, are missing.

As PP have said, 5yo children are eager to please, often say outrageous things, and their stories are not entirely reliable. Children that age simply do not have the perspective, benefit of experience, understanding of time and space, knowledge of consequences, basis for comparison of severity, etc., that we adults have. When they can't see mum, they are "alone". A drop of blood can be "a lot". A minute can be "a really long time". Little children talk complete bollocks sometimes - perfectly innocently of course, but bollocks just the same.

If you haven't told us the entire story, @FUNM, then you need to ask yourself some questions:
Do you really believe you have reliable evidence that the children are in danger?
Are you prepared to be the person who involved SS into your sisters life - with all the horror stories of families shattered and lives ruined due to mistakes, over stretched resources, etc; with the painful and invasive investigations; with all the stigma attached - based on the woefully incomplete story of a 5yo child?
And what do you want to come of ringing SS? A quick home visit and some childproofing advice that you could give yourself? A full investigation launched into your sister's family's home and private life? The children removed from their family and put into state care?

If you have told us everything, it sounds like normal life round your sister's to me.

No should of added it was anonymous and although I have my suspicions I can't say for sure so as you can imagine it's caused a complete rift in my family especially as we did all get on so I can't understand why they did it. The report was clear lies and was proven as soon as they social services saw us, but I will never know who reported me which is the worst bit as half the family think it's one person and half think it's the other so know there are sides of the family that no longer talk. I wonder if it was worth it I really do. It was definitely a family member as the report said it was someone wanting to remain anonymous but a family member and there was things in the report only my family knew about.

have you thought about talking to your sister about it rather than trying to get her into trouble?

What do you want to happen as a result of your "report"? Do you want her to lose her children and for them to be put into the care system?

I am slightly baffled. could you think about trying to help rather than trying to get her put in prison?

OP hasn't been back I see.

The stigma never goes either, people say if you have nothing to hide then whats the problem? But it's the stigma. The judgment. I still feel judged at the school I still feel they're monitoring me "just incase" and that will always be on my children's files. I just think people should be very sure there is abuse or neglect happening before reporting people to ss.

I would bet good money you don't have children. I would also bet that you want them.
If and when that happens you will find it very educational.

Until then, if you want to help the children you can do it by offering help to their mother. A parent who has slept is a better, calmer, more alert parent.

Parenting sometimes takes more than we think any person could have, and so it is very hard to believe if you haven't been through it.

I feel so sorry for your sister. She has PND and her sister, instead of helping her is busy posting thread after thread on here about how awful she is and how you're going to get SS involved. How is this helping her PND? Why don't you actually help her? If the info you've provided is the whole story then frankly, who needs enemies when she has family like you.

Silly to leave a razor out but you seem to be over reacting to me. I used to leave my toddler alone to watch TV while I did housework etc. If it's a secure room what's the difference between that and putting them to bed??? I agree wih everyone else. Why not just mention it to your sister. I would never even think of going to social services without talking to my family first. I just can't imagine how bad your relationship wih your sister must be to even contemplate this!!!! I agree wih the poster who said wih you as family she probably does need support. I feel sorry for her.

Have you tried actually talking to your sister? Or is SS your first port of call?

I agree with the other posters.. help your sister if you can and if she will let you.

I still have a scar on my lip where I tried out shaving at the tender age of seven. I don't remember everything but I do have a distinct memory of rushing through the living room with my hand clamped over my mouth to hide the blood because I knew I'd be in trouble.

Apparently the blood dripping from between my fingers gave me away and the reason I knew I'd be in trouble was because I'd had to climb up the bathroom cabinets to reach the razor.

DD2 also cut herself on a razor. It was in a shaving bag on the dining room table, where I was packing for holiday. I was in the room at the time, folding clothes to go in the case. It was right before school pick up time and it bled and bled. We had to rush to the school with DD2's arm up in the air to stem the bleeding. I planned on going directly to the walk-in center after collecting DD1. Once we reached the school, the bleeding had stopped and there was barely a mark on her finger. When fingers bleed, boy do they bleed.

I was also in the room the time she put a skittle
(the sweet, not the toy) up her nose and got it stuck there.

DD1 escaped experiments with a razor but did slice open her foot by standing on my glass topped bedside table, I wasn't in the room at the time but in fairness she was eleven and old enough to know better.

Children aren't the most sensible or reliable of creatures. Many of them seem to actually actually seek out death and/or maiming until they reach around 10 or so. Keeping them alive and in one piece is a full time job.

I won't be calling SS as while I am concerned it is really none of my business. My reaction was OTT. Accidents do happen and I think that is what happened here. The nephew was probably too quick in this case and they couldn't stop him. I just felt for him that he had cut himself. But in the harsh light of MN, SS would not be the right route. I will just have to trust that the kids have enough responsible people around to keep an eye on things.

Be that responsible person... reach out to your family.... if you still think your niece and nephew are at risk, even with your help, then maybe they need more help.

I'm with DameDiazepam on this one. Really does not sound like SS intervention needed.