DP swore at me

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

So DP annoyed me last night snoring so badly I had to sleep on sofa. I took dd to soft play today to give us a bit of space. DP home by himself. He's done a bit of tidying and made lunches for me and him for the week. I grumbled a bit he hadn't done hoovering upstairs as I always seem to do it. Stupid quarrel really. But what's really bothered me is he shouted and told me to fuck off and piss off while dd in another room but in earshot. We've been together 15 years and are happy together but I don't how annoyed I should be about this.

Sorry purpelmonkey yes she does sleep well and always has! But she is quite sensitive to people disagreeing and stuff

My issue is when he gets annoyed there's no reasoning with him so it ends up in a shouting match until I back down. And I don't want that in front of dd. But if I back down there's this simmering of resentment. (If I'm not in the wrong only) I'd like to know how to resolve that.

I back down as well,but that's bcs I'm the temperamental,sweary one. So I remove myself from the situation to avoid arguments. Then once calmed down, mostly the next day I text DP and put my point forward calmly,no swearing, how i feel etc.

Arguments never work as i get frustrated and he gets defensive or he'll say yes to anything,but neither of us actually gets listened to so we developed this method.

Snoring is not something to just be put up with. It is a medical condition and he should be looking for ways to cure it or reduce the severity. A friend of a friend died of sleep apnea and that gave dh the push to take more responsibility.

However, at a base level his condition is having a detrimental effect on the family. None of us are at our best when we are running on less than healthy levels of sleep.

The thing is, even if it doesn't work, if your dp could at least show that he is trying to fix it then that will ease the resentment.

Is he overweight? Dh goes from between 13st and 14st. At lighter end, no snoring - the other...? Like a train!

Try changing pillows - higher or lower.

There is a horrible and expensive but effect snoring moose that dh has used successfully on occasion.

Get on the sofa, snuggle up with your dp and smart phone and research ideas to try. Try to forgive him, hopefully he will forgive you and get back on the same team. He isn't the enemy, he loves your dd too.

Maybe purchase a light weight handheld hover for the stairs? Problem solved.