To be totally fed up of my friend ..

[Kellyjohnson2345]

My friend 5 years ago met a polish man who had just came to Britain and started seeing him,didn't use contraception as he told her it was poisonous for her body.
2 months later pregnant.
Still they use no contraception which is her choice but every month it's
"God I hope I'm not pregnant"
Today she called me "I think I'm pregnant,really hope not,I don't want another baby"
Yet still not using contraception???
I've wanted a child for years and had fertility testing and my husband has sperm issues so unless I leave him (which I won't) I won't have a child.
I'm just sick of hearing how she doesn't want a baby yet won't even tell him to wear a condom!
Sorry for ranting

I'd just tell her you don't want to discuss it, she knows what the options are and she is not choosing to use them. He sounds like a twat though, does her relationship otherwise seem good?

How annoying for you. Tell her gently that you are upset to keep hearing her talk like this. Also, he does sound a bit odd, why is she so keen to let him decide?

There's phone apps she can use nowadays where she records her temperature which are supposed to be excellent for contraception

Tell her to grow up. On a side note, have you spoken to a fertility specialist about other options for you and your husband?

I think at this point is seriously lose my temper along the lines of 'tell the deluded and controlling twat to use a condom or just take the fucking pill you insensitive silly bitch'

Why is his nationality of any importance?

((((((((())))))))). You're jealous. Please please belive me. Im not critcsing. I think anyone would be in your situation. Its only natural.
She doesn't want a baby, and She possibly one on the way, and you're struggling. Life really is unfair. You bloody rant away.
I think I'd just tell her straight babies are too much of a sore point, at the moaning.
No one in the world would expect you to have sympathy for her. When she has the one thing you want more than anything else in the whole world.

At the moment. Not moaning

Ugh I had a friend like this and my own fertility problems. They hated being a mum, spoke about how getting pregnant was their worst nightmare and yet had unprotected sex with random men they would date for a few weeks

They got pregnant and still expected my support to cope with this boohoo sob totally planned accidental pregnancy with Zero consideration for how I felt... I've pretty much ended the friendship

Your friend sounds like s complete dope. How annoying for you.

Could you say something like, “please don’t mention pregnancy as it’s a sore point for me” ?

I know it’s hard to say things like that though. This is when passive aggression is very useful.

I don't think I could enjoy being friends with someone who said they didn't want to be pregnant yet continued to had sex without using contraceptives.

I imagine she'd be too annoying to talk to, if this is how silly she is.

What do you get out of your friendship with this woman?

This must get really annoying. Don't think I could be bothered keeping up a friendship with somebody so scatty, gullible and irresponsible. She sounds a pain. Just see a lot less of her.

I have a friend who used to do this. The only difference was I had children but it was taking a while to get pregnant with my third. Every month she would tell me how she needed a pregnancy test and would consider an abortion if she was pregnant. I always assumed it was to upset me as she knew I was desperate to be pregnant again. I'm now due my 4th baby in three days and she hasn't ever been pregnant ( as far as I know), she doesn't do it anymore so I can only assume it was her way of getting to me and making me feel shit.

To be fair, there may be a shade of relevance to the nationality, Poland is a very Catholic country and not using contraception is (or certainly used to be) a major issue for young women there, e.g. not uncommon for young women to have had abortions in double figures because you can't go to confession for taking the pill when you have every intention of using it every day, but you can go to confession for having an abortion because for a whole host of reasons you can't go ahead with a pregnancy. Ah, Catholicism, the joy it brings!

In the Catholic Religion you're not supposed to use contraception, because. Its your "duty" to make lots of little Catholics. People still do, though. I mean the pope isnt going to be keeping your children or pacing the floor with them when they're screaming with colic at 3am, is he

if she knows about your fertilty issues she is being a total bitch how insenitive .If not tell her to use contraception or shut up

How is contraception poisonous? There are plenty of barrier methods to choose from. She sounds quite thick.

Despite being a Catholic country, Poland is pretty up to date with the idea of contraception, so I think there are some fairly out of date ideas being mooted here.

As the OP's mate isn't Polish, I'd suggest that she's just a bit silly for believing or making out she believes contraception is 'poison' and she should quietly pop to Family planning and get a coil fitted.

bloody polish

"There's phone apps she can use nowadays where she records her temperature which are supposed to be excellent for contraception". To be honest though, those phone apps are very helpful for people in very stable relationships with the organization needed to carefully monitor their cycle, and the self control (if that's the right word)/autonomy to not have sex if the app says no. What's the betting if her ex wanted to have sex on a day the app said no he would persuade her the app was nonsense in the same way he persuaded her contraception was (or say don't worry Ill withdraw etc). I may be massively projecting here but it's probable he wasn't/isn't too concerned about avoiding pregnancy and he seems in the driving seat in that relationship...

You could try recommending she get the coil fitted without telling him, but yes I think you are justified in not wanting to hear about it all the time. I also think it's possible a part of her enjoys the monthly drama as well.

not surprising you are annoyed with her while you are struggling to conceive.
give her a wide berth op

Why don't they use one of the forms of contraception that don't involve drugs - it's not the pill or nothing surely ?

She sounds foolish to allow her partner to dictate what she does or doesn;t do with her body.
And I agree - very thoughtless and self absorbed of her to go about it infront of you given your circumstances. I would tell her firmly you;d rather not talk about as it is upsetting for you it if she starts up again.

My husband won't even consider a sperm donor etc..
I thought for years it was a problem with me but when it showed it was him he couldn't handle it.
My friend is totally controlled by this man,I don't trust him one bit.