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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry and upset with dh

53 replies

aaaaaaagh · 23/09/2017 16:43

Okay I am probably a bit hormonal but I am bloody angry about this...

Our ds is 18 months old and wants to run around a lot. I don't like him running around when we are in town for obvious reasons but my dh is always moaning if I pick him up (if he's not in buggy).

Anyway, we were in the square where there is no traffic so I let ds run around. He ran towards the road (but there are no cars at weekend) and I was right behind him. And some busybody stopped him and said to me I need to watch him as he'll run into the road. Not in a friendly way either, in a scolding way.

So I said to dh did you hear that and he said she was RIGHT!! Well why the F do you want me to let him run around even when there are cars then!?

I'm not really annoyed with her at all, I'm annoyed with him as it's none of her business and that is what I think he should have said. Not agreed that somehow I am neglectful.

I'm livid. Am I being a complete arse?

OP posts:
Migraleve · 23/09/2017 16:45

Erm, I agree with them

DorisDangleberry · 23/09/2017 16:45

Is this a reverse? You are livid because your DH is concerned about the safety of his child? Is that right?

Original poster
aaaaaaagh · 23/09/2017 16:46

Why is he unsafe in this scenario?

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 23/09/2017 16:47

Does your DH ever carry him or watch him when he's out and running about? If not then I see why you're annoyed.

Have you thought about reins? They've gone out of fashion but I found them useful for this stage.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 23/09/2017 16:47

Invest in some reins. .

Brittbugs80 · 23/09/2017 16:47

So your DS runs around near roads with traffic and your DH moans when you pick him up to keep him safe. You let DS run round a square a near a road with no traffic, a stranger tells you it's dangerous and your DH agrees with her?

Did you ask your DH why it's ok he does it? I'd also think about reigns for DS.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 23/09/2017 16:47

Do they close the road at weekend so no car are allowed or is it just quiet at weekends?
Never a good idea for kids to play near roads as they won't understand the difference

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/09/2017 16:48

I think I agree with them although op is a bit unclear.

If it's normally a busy road, he shouldn't be running towards it.

C0untDucku1a · 23/09/2017 16:48

Because he needs to know running into roads is never acceptable.

Brittbugs80 · 23/09/2017 16:48

Or your could even try reins..

Burritobaby · 23/09/2017 16:49

Sorry but yes YABU. You need to teach your child that ALL roads are dangerous, regardless of wether there is the potential of there being an actual car on them at that exact moment. It's impossible for you to predict the traffic. The concerned citizen was just that, concerned... as was your husband.

LucieLucie · 23/09/2017 16:49

It's anyone's business if a baby is left to run towards a road.

What do you mean there's no traffic at weekends?

There's danger all around in a city centre, not just roads. He should be restrained by reins or wrist strap or at least his hand held.

How's he going to learn about safety if he's already allowed to run wild?

Why are you so angry?

Brittbugs80 · 23/09/2017 16:50

Because he needs to know running into roads is never acceptable

He does need to learn this but at the same time Dad can't not do it and let him run wherever then get arsey with Mom when she lets him run wherever

Wolfiefan · 23/09/2017 16:50

Don't let your child run about near roads. Ever.

Original poster
aaaaaaagh · 23/09/2017 16:50

That's the thing. I bought a rucksack for him that we take everywhere and dh left the rein that attaches to it at home (he was out with ds and I wasn't earlier). Yes, the whole square is traffic free

OP posts:
Gazelda · 23/09/2017 16:50

I agree that it’s best to let DS learn that he should never run near roads, quiet or not.

PinkHeart5913 · 23/09/2017 16:51

Because he needs to know running into roads is never acceptable absolutely this!

Wolfiefan · 23/09/2017 16:51

So he holds your hand or stays in the buggy. Why are you blaming everyone else for your child running about near the road?

Original poster
aaaaaaagh · 23/09/2017 16:51

Thank you brittbug that it exactly why I am pissed off. Of course I want to teach my child that he can't run into roads

OP posts:
gettinfedduppathis · 23/09/2017 16:51

Of course it is unsafe. How is your ds going to learn the difference between pavement and road if you don't teach him? He won't understand that it is only ok at weekends - if you allow him to run about in that area sometimes, one day he will dash out when you aren't looking.

Butterymuffin · 23/09/2017 16:52

No reins, no running about. I would have kept him in the buggy this time and given DH an earful about forgetting the rein.

Brittbugs80 · 23/09/2017 16:52

The concerned citizen was just that, concerned... as was your husband

I think the OP is trying to say that her Husband let's the kid round and hear to roads and moans at her when she picks him up to keep him safe. She done the same thing today as her Husband does, and he agreed with a stranger it was dangerous.

Why agree with a stranger yet ignore your wife when she raises the same concerns?

Original poster
aaaaaaagh · 23/09/2017 16:53

I've already said I'm not upset with the woman, even though I was right there and my child was in no danger. I am angry at the double standard

OP posts:
Original poster
aaaaaaagh · 23/09/2017 16:54

Yes brittbug you are articulating this better than me. Perhaps I need to calm down haha

OP posts:
Starlighter · 23/09/2017 16:54

Kids love to run - and that's great if you're in a park or soft play or in the garden, but near the road, in public places... Not so much, I'm afraid.

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