Posting here because I don't know where else to get it out of my system and I'm shocked, stunned, confused and hurt by a completely out of the blue attack on my personality from someone I hardly know.
I am on the periphery of a social group of folks who meet through a shared activity, some of whom I know better than others. One of these members, with whom I can hardly recall having more than a handful of very bland conversations with and who I know wholeheartedly I have been nothing but civil with started acting quite cold to me last week. I thought nothing of it and when I saw this person today I said hello and asked them how they were. I was not prepared for the response. They came at me aggressively up to my face, angrily contorted, finger wagging and shouted at me, in front of the whole activity group "`never talk to me again. I don't like you, you're rude, insipid (?!) sarcastic and need to engage your brain before you open your mouth". This person then stormed off before I had a chance to respond, leaving me shocked, stunned, and humiliated. So I pursued them and asked them, in as measured a voice as possible to explain what I had done to offend. The reply was the same as the first accusation, no reasons just opinion. And an insistence that I don't come near them, said in a way that made it sound like I was about to attack them. Again this was said in in front of a bunch of others who shuffled around looking embarrassed. I just stated that this person had no right to speak to me like that and walked away, trying to remain dignified.
This is not a stealth post, there will be no further confession later down the thread about anything I ever said to or about this person. I hardly know them and, despite racking my brains, cannot recall any conversation that would portray me in this light. I am utterly flummoxed.
In my opinion this person has always struck me a a bit "highly strung" but I know through mutual friends that they have a lot of problems at home and as a result I have always tried to treat them with kindness and patience. As for "rude" and "sarcastic" there has always been a bit of banter amongst the group which I participate in but I have never had the impression from anyone else (including this individual) that I have ever said anything unacceptable.
I received a message from a mutual friend who overheard the whole sorry incident to ask me what it was all about. They too are clueless. This mutual friend has offered to intervene and enquire as to what the issue is but I'm loathe to get others involved as that never ends well. I kind of want to pull away from the mutual social activity but then I'm the only one that loses out.
I can't help thinking that another individual is involved who dislikes me for whatever reason is behind all this. A few months ago a new member joined the group and has become "besties" with everyone except me (I think the term 'Wendy' has been used here before). All the others are invited to social activities that this person arranges with the conspicuous exception of myself. When others that I am friends with in the group (notwithstanding the two I have mentioned) organise a get together I am frequently included. Again, hand on heart, I have done considerable soul searching and cannot think of any behaviours of mine that would elicit such attitude and, frankly, vitriol. The 'Wendy' strikes me as very needy.
Anyway, so here I am wondering what the feck I have done to deserve this. I can't help feeling something unjustified has been said about me and my character has been smeared. It can't even be a social media thing as today's aggressor doesn't do social media and "Wendy" unfriended me months ago (not that our exchanges were ever anything apart from chat about our shared activity).
The mutual friend that messaged me has given me no cause to think they are involved, in fact they and I are doing an event together tomorrow, just the two of us.
Sorry if I'm ranting, I just need to get this off my chest. I simply don't understand. No direct accusations were made of anything I had done, no reasons given, I was just dressed down very publicly by someone I hardly know. It's not my style to be mean to anyone, I don't see the point. Nobody had ever, ever, accused me of being such in my life before. I'm frustrated because I can't even make amends for some inadvertent slight because I don't know what I'm supposed to have done.
If anyone can make any sense of this or can relate I would be very interested to hear from you.
Thanks for "listening".